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Its Probably (not) Aliens!Author: Tristan Johnson & Scott Niswander
Was Earth really visited by mysterious extraterrestrial travelers thousands of years ago as many proponents of ancient astronaut theory believe? What are the hidden secrets and mysteries behind ancient monuments and forgotten civilizations? Every week, historian Tristan Johnson and regular human person Scott Niswander dive through the archives to learn about the fascinating histories of ancient civilizations while also debunking the myths and straight-up lies presented in History Channels massively popular tv show Ancient Aliens that has sparked a new generation of conspiracy theorists. We hope through this show, you can gain an appreciation for just how cool ancient societies were, and not simply credit their impressive advancements to alien visitors. NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEK! Follow the show so you dont miss an episode, and leave us a review! It really helps us out! Language: en Genres: History, Society & Culture Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it Trailer: |
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I'm Gonna Beat Jesus
Episode 138
Monday, 27 October, 2025
You've seen it on TikTok: a wild theory connecting a sacred mountain in the Middle East, fallen angels, the Roswell crash, and the number 33. Welcome to the Mount Hermon conspiracy, the belief that a supernatural coordinate system, the 33rd parallel, serves as a global energy grid for aliens and angels alike. It’s a theory so powerful that it supposedly dictates everything from ancient history to modern warfare.So, is the Earth a giant D20 crisscrossed with energy lines? Scott and Tristan (armed with sangria and cream ale) dive into the numbers. They use some good old-fashioned math, statistical analysis, and a lesson on how latitude and longitude actually work to show why this "worldwide grid" has a tolerance for error so wide you could fly a V-2 rocket through it. Then, they get into the real history of Mount Hermon, a site sacred to countless cultures long before anyone wrote about "Watchers," and explore how apocalyptic literature from 200 BCE is being twisted to serve a new narrative.But this isn't just about debunking bad math. The hosts connect the dots from TikTok brainrot to the very real, very dangerous world of geopolitics, revealing how these conspiracies are weaponized to justify white nationalism and settler colonial projects in active war zones today.Stuff mentioned in the episode:Monte Carlo SimulationSarah Davis Baker and her video "The uncanny horror of AI hallucinations"Get new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula!Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out!Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeScott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeFollow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates!Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.comMusic by Rod Kim | Cover art by SkutchSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
