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MommywoodAuthor: Emily Bolt
Welcome to Mommywood, an unfiltered journey through the highs and lows of balancing Hollywood dreams with the realities of motherhood. Join our candid conversations about the joys, struggles and sacrifices of being a working mom in Hollywood. Language: en Genres: Kids & Family, Parenting Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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I Thought Motherhood Would Change Me More Than It Did
Thursday, 4 June, 2026
I Thought Motherhood Would Make Me Disappear. It Didn’t.Before I became a mom, I was honestly terrified of losing myself.I felt like everywhere I looked, the story was the same: motherhood changes you completely. You stop recognizing yourself. Your dreams go on pause. Your entire identity becomes “mom.” And while I understood that for a lot of women, I also quietly panicked thinking… wait, what if I disappear?But the weird thing is… I don’t actually feel like I disappeared.And sometimes I almost feel guilty saying that out loud.Because yes, motherhood changed me. Of course it did. I’m more emotional now. More protective. More anxious in some ways. More intentional. I cry at literally everything. But underneath all of that, I still feel like me.Actually, if anything, motherhood amplified who I already was.I didn’t suddenly stop caring about acting or creating or working. I didn’t become a completely different person overnight. I still want things for myself. I still have ambition. I still love my daughter more than anything in the world, while also wanting a life outside of being someone’s mom.And for a while, I thought maybe that meant I was doing motherhood wrong.There’s so much conversation around losing yourself after kids that when you don’t fully relate to that experience, it can feel isolating too. Like maybe you’re not attached enough. Or not selfless enough. Or not “mom” enough.But I don’t think there’s one correct way to experience motherhood.Some women feel completely transformed. Some feel cracked open emotionally. Some feel disconnected from who they were before. And some of us feel more like ourselves than ever — just stretched, exhausted, emotional, and trying to do twelve things at once.I think motherhood reveals you more than it replaces you.It forces you to get honest about what matters. About what you need. About the parts of yourself you refuse to lose. And honestly? I think that’s allowed.You’re allowed to love your kid obsessively and still care about your career.You’re allowed to miss parts of your old life without wanting your current one to disappear.You’re allowed to still feel ambitious, creative, funny, selfish sometimes, overwhelmed, grateful, and fully yourself all at the same time.None of it cancels the other out.I just wish we talked more about the fact that motherhood doesn’t look emotionally identical for everyone. There’s room for all of our experiences here.So if you’ve ever secretly felt like, “Wait… I still kind of feel like me?” — I just want you to know you’re not alone.And if you do feel like you lost yourself completely, you’re not alone either.Both things can be true in different homes, different bodies, different lives.But for me personally? Motherhood didn’t erase me.It made me more me.
