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Become A Calm MamaLearn how to stop yelling at your kids and feel calm Author: Darlynn Childress
Become a Calm Mama is a parenting podcast where you learn practical parenting tools and strategies so you can stop yelling, feel more calm, and show up as the mom you want to be. Darlynn is the top parenting coach for moms who want to know exactly how to handle misbehavior and create a peaceful home. Darlynn is known for her practical strategies and a down to earth understanding of what its really like to be a mom raising kids in the 21st century. Over the past 15 years, Darlynn has dedicated her life to becoming the mom she wanted to be for my kids. In that process, she created a parenting model called The Calm Mama Process that helped her navigate every tricky parenting moment thats been thrown her way. From hitting to bullying, from toddler meltdowns to teenage shenanigans, from missing assignments to college admissions, from getting kids to bed to getting kids out of bed, from kids not wanting to get out of the bath to middle schoolers that dont want to take a shower, from kids fighting in the car to kids who drive their own car, shes seen it all. Darlynn has taught her model to hundreds of moms since 2015 and when they apply the Calm Mama Process to their tricky parenting moments they have calm and peace in their homes. Their kids' behavior improves, their relationship with their children gets so much better, and they enjoy motherhood (most of the time!). Darlynn teaches her process inside her coaching program, The Emotionally Healthy Kids course, where you learn how to master your reactivity, teach kids how to manage their big feelings, and set limits that work. Each week she brings practical and simple strategies to the podcast so you can stop yelling and create a peaceful home. Language: en Genres: Education, Kids & Family, Parenting, Self-Improvement Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it Trailer: |
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Preventing Meltdowns
Episode 196
Thursday, 23 October, 2025
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the concept of pre-regulation and how it can help with preventing meltdowns. Today, you’ll learn how to help your kid get calm (and stay calm) so you have less dysregulation and fewer tantrums.You’ll Learn:Why meltdowns actually happenThings you might be doing that make tantrums worseHow to help you child calm their nervous system in the momentTons of simple (and fun) strategies I used with my kids to keep them calm in advance to prevent meltdowns from happeningI hope you implement just one or two of these this week for yourself and for your kids. Then, tell me how it goes!---------------------------------------------Understanding Meltdowns and RegulationIn kids, dysregulation often looks like kicking, screaming, punching, yelling at you, saying really crazy things… aka a tantrum or meltdown. I like to call them Big Feeling Cycles. You can actually see that your child is sort of out of control. As a parent, the instinct is often to try to control that behavior. So maybe you raise your voice, make a threat, or try to bribe your kid in order to stop the behavior. But these don’t deal with the cause of the meltdown, because feelings drive behavior.Arguing or trying to “teach them a lesson” doesn’t help in these situations. It usually just creates more problems.When you trust that the grumpiness, complaining, or meltdown is temporary, it gives you some perspective. You’re able to allow for some of those feelings to be and have compassion.A helpful thought for you when your kid is in the midst of a Big Feeling Cycle is: Thoughts and feelings are like weather. They always pass. As your kid’s emotional coach, your goal is to help them get out of fight or flight (the sympathetic nervous system) and into rest and digest (the parasympathetic nervous system). Imagine this (or maybe it already happened in your house today)… Your kid is having a fit because they’re in a bad mood and they don’t want their chicken nuggets. Instead of arguing, you say, “Okay. Eat it or don’t eat it. We’ll figure it out.” And then all of a sudden, they start eating! What happened in that moment is that their nervous system came back online, and they’re better able to regulate. In-the-Moment Strategies for Calming Big FeelingsIf you want to go deeper and get the step-by-step process for these strategies, I’ve done individual podcasts episodes on most of them, so go back and listen! The Connection Tool is your best strategy to handle a Big Feeling Cycle. It has three parts:Narrate the situation - What is happening? What behaviors are you seeing?Name the emotion - I wonder if you’re feeling…Now what? - Give your child another strategy to communicate or cope with their big feelings. The 3 Rs of emotional regulation are also really helpful in getting back to calm.Rhythm - Intentionally moving your body in a way that has a soothing effect on you. This could be jumping, swinging your arms, or doing a shimmy shake.Relationship - When you have someone come alongside you and say, “You’re okay. I’ve got you. We can handle this,” it takes away the fight or flight response. You’re no longer alone and afraid. Reward - This isn’t a reward like a toy or ice cream. It’s a little dopamine kick that can be achieved by completing a small task. This isn’t one that you can do right in the middle of a Big Feeling Cycle, but if you catch it before the train has fully left the station, you might be able to turn things around. Intercepting or interrupting the Big Feeling Cycle with a small task or...
