 |
Become A Calm MamaLearn how to stop yelling at your kids and feel calm Author: Darlynn Childress
Become a Calm Mama is a parenting podcast where you learn practical parenting tools and strategies so you can stop yelling, feel more calm, and show up as the mom you want to be. Darlynn is the top parenting coach for moms who want to know exactly how to handle misbehavior and create a peaceful home. Darlynn is known for her practical strategies and a down to earth understanding of what its really like to be a mom raising kids in the 21st century. Over the past 15 years, Darlynn has dedicated her life to becoming the mom she wanted to be for my kids. In that process, she created a parenting model called The Calm Mama Process that helped her navigate every tricky parenting moment thats been thrown her way. From hitting to bullying, from toddler meltdowns to teenage shenanigans, from missing assignments to college admissions, from getting kids to bed to getting kids out of bed, from kids not wanting to get out of the bath to middle schoolers that dont want to take a shower, from kids fighting in the car to kids who drive their own car, shes seen it all. Darlynn has taught her model to hundreds of moms since 2015 and when they apply the Calm Mama Process to their tricky parenting moments they have calm and peace in their homes. Their kids' behavior improves, their relationship with their children gets so much better, and they enjoy motherhood (most of the time!). Darlynn teaches her process inside her coaching program, The Emotionally Healthy Kids course, where you learn how to master your reactivity, teach kids how to manage their big feelings, and set limits that work. Each week she brings practical and simple strategies to the podcast so you can stop yelling and create a peaceful home. Language: en Genres: Education, Kids & Family, Parenting, Self-Improvement Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it Trailer: |
Listen Now...
Stop Trying to “Fix” Your Kid’s Feelings [Stop Yelling Series, part 2]
Episode 2
Wednesday, 14 January, 2026
“Fix it, change it, stop it, solve it” is a phrase I use often in my coaching. When you say it out loud, it captures that feeling we have as parents when our kids behave in a way that leaves us feeling overwhelmed, angry or worried. In this episode,you’ll learn:How to view your kid’s big feelings as an opportunity instead of a threatThe question to ask yourself as you move your child through their dayHow to validate feelings in the midst of out-of-bounds behavior5 ways to help your kid manage their big feelings What I hope you take away from this episode is it's actually good for kids to feel upset and have you be okay with their feelings. You do not need to fix your kid’s feelings. You only need to acknowledge them.----------------------------------------"Fix it, change it, stop it, solve it" is an emotional and physical response to what our kids are doing, and our brain jumps in and tries to fix, change, stop or solve the situation. Your Kid’s Big FeelingsThe most common time I see parents experience this reaction is during a Big Feeling Cycle. When your kid has big feelings, they might express them in ways that are overwhelming to you. The tendency is often to try to shut down their behavior. But because that behavior is a reaction to how they’re feeling, we end up shutting down their feelings, too.The problem with jumping in to fix/change/stop/solve is that you miss an opportunity to connect with your kids and to help them connect with themselves and learn how to process their own negative emotion. What “Fix it, change it, stop it, solve it” Looks LikeHere are some things I see parents do when they don’t like the way their child is expressing their emotion. Minimizing. When our kids are upset, we want to say, “Oh honey, it’s not that big of a deal. It’ll work out.” This sounds like a nice thing to say, but your child is left feeling like you don’t understand. It feels like a really big deal to them. We want to validate the emotion and acknowledge the intensity of their feelings instead of minimizing it. Comparing. This looks like, “This sort of thing happens all the time,” or, “Other kids don’t complain about this,” or “This wasn’t a big deal to your brother.” It happens when you think their feelings aren’t warranted or justified. We’re trying to get them to think and feel differently but, again, we’re doing it by shutting down their feelings. Ignoring. There might be times when you need to take a break to calm yourself before dealing with a situation. Ignoring is different. This is another way of shutting your kid down, and it makes them feel unheard, unfelt, unseen and unvaluable. Your child might think, “Mom only wants to talk to me when I’m happy.”Talking about their feelings is how they’ll learn to deal with them. Weaponizing gratitude. Gratitude is an incredible emotion. I love it. Weaponizing gratitude is when we use it to bypass negative emotion. You cannot get rid of sadness by thinking grateful thoughts. We have to feel the sadness (or anger or worry) and acknowledge it before we allow the brain to find another perspective. Indulging. Sometimes, you might try to change the circumstance to make your kid feel better. Maybe you tell them they can skip practice or promise to go get ice cream afterwards. Instead of letting them feel upset, indulging tries to give them a positive feeling so they forget about the uncomfortable feeling. Logic-ing. This looks like...
