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Become A Calm MamaLearn how to stop yelling at your kids and feel calm Author: Darlynn Childress
Become a Calm Mama is a parenting podcast where you learn practical parenting tools and strategies so you can stop yelling, feel more calm, and show up as the mom you want to be. Darlynn is the top parenting coach for moms who want to know exactly how to handle misbehavior and create a peaceful home. Darlynn is known for her practical strategies and a down to earth understanding of what its really like to be a mom raising kids in the 21st century. Over the past 14 years, Darlynn has dedicated her life to becoming the mom she wanted to be for my kids. In that process, she created a parenting model called The Calm Mama Process that helped her navigate every tricky parenting moment thats been thrown her way. From hitting to bullying, from toddler meltdowns to teenage shenanigans, from missing assignments to college admissions, from getting kids to bed to getting kids out of bed, from kids not wanting to get out of the bath to middle schoolers that dont want to take a shower, from kids fighting in the car to kids who drive their own car, shes seen it all. Darlynn has taught her model to hundreds of moms since 2015 and when they apply the Calm Mama Process to their tricky parenting moments they have calm and peace in their homes. Their kids' behavior improves, their relationship with their children gets so much better, and they enjoy motherhood (most of the time!). Darlynn teaches her process inside her coaching program, The Emotionally Healthy Kids course, where you learn how to master your reactivity, teach kids how to manage their big feelings, and set limits that work. Each week she brings practical and simple strategies to the podcast so you can stop yelling and create a peaceful home. Language: en Genres: Education, Kids & Family, Parenting, Self-Improvement Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it Trailer: |
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Practicing Attunement to Create Emotional Health
Episode 157
Wednesday, 22 January, 2025
If you feel worried about messing up your kid, today’s episode is for you. I’m teaching you how practicing attunement will help you build a more connected relationship with your child and create emotional health within them. You’ll Learn:What attunement is and why it’s important for emotional health2 simple steps to practice attunementExamples of what it looks like to be attuned to your childWhat not to say when your kid is strugglingCommon obstacles to attuning to your child (and what to do about them)As moms, we feel really scared that we’re going to mess up our kids. This is a normal fear, and it comes up because you really care a lot. You want to do a good job and raise emotionally healthy kids. Attunement is a big way that we do this. Listen to learn how.-----------------------------------What Is Attunement?Emotional health and feeling secure are rooted in having a strong attachment with your parent. So, the way to trauma-proof your child is through attunement, which is about seeing them and soothing them. In the Calm Mama Process of Calm, Connect, Limit Set, Correct, attunement the “Connect” step. When we talk about validating emotion, we're talking about attunement. In this process, you are becoming aware of your child's emotional state. If they're misbehaving, crying, asking for something - whatever you’re seeing on the outside, you are also trying to figure out what might be going on on the inside.You’re understanding that your child has an inner life. They're walking through the world experiencing something. They have their own thoughts, feelings, reactions, and a perspective on life.When you are regularly attuning to your child, they feel safe and secure. And from that secure place, they are willing to trust others, to be vulnerable, to take risks, to grow, to change, to self-reflect, to have self compassion - all these traits that are part of being an emotionally healthy person.Attunement also normalizes emotions, creates a shame-free environment for processing negative emotion, and helps your child become more self-aware (another key for emotional health).Of course, there are no guarantees. There are always factors that are out of our control. But generally speaking, the more secure a child’s attachment is with their parent, the more likely they are to have an emotionally healthy life.As we talk about attunement, the goal is not for you to do a, b, and c to make sure your kid turns out okay. It’s an opportunity to look at yourself and decide how you want to show up as a parent and what kind of strategies you want to use in your family. Practicing AttunementBeing seen and validated is really, really powerful. And a little bit of attunement goes a long way toward compliance. Not only is it an effective parenting strategy, but it’s also helpful for your kid in the long term. It models the process of emotional regulation. You help them understand the messy inside feelings. You give them language to communicate it and to cope with it. When you do this over and over again, your child eventually learns how to do that for themselves. Step 1: See. Attunement starts by just paying attention - looking at your child’s behavior and wondering what could be going on underneath. You’ll see clues like their behavior, body language, or words. Your role as a parent is to try to slip into their narrative, their emotional state. Then, you can respond to that emotional state and try to help them through it.Step 2: Soothe. When your child is in distress or having a negative experience, they need soothing. Sometimes this is as simple as communicating to them, “You are not alone. I see you. I’m here to support...
