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The Bulgarian
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Music for sex
Saturday, 26 January, 2013
I wanted to share with you this article, written by linnah, that perfectly defines what has always been my main motivation for the way I go about making music and DJ-ing. Please enjoy: I recently entered a discussion about music for sex. Why, you might ask. Well … because it’s January and the holidays are over and everyone seems to be consumed with the idea of some form of romance. And that would all be really fine if it wasn’t for the fact that none of these forms of romance actually cover sex, yet they claim to represent it. To quickly demonstrate what I mean: Don’t get me wrong, the track is alright. What bothers me is people defining this as music for sex. I mean, look at the top comments, one of them is “This is the perfect song to smoke a blunt to! love it!” Smoking a blunt is not quite as physically intensive as having sex… Think about it, have you had sex? What is the general rhythm when you have sex? Now listen again to the rhythm of that track above. If you were to beatmix the two rhythms, they wouldn’t quite fit, would they? The thing is that unless you have Hollywood sex where the girl wears a bra and moves soooo freaking slowly on top of the guy that it makes you wonder how he still has an erection, that rhythm just doesn’t fit. A friend of mine once defined this as music for “easy going sex”. I said minimal techno is music for easy going sex and this… this is music for when you can’t get it hard enough for the fucking part. I can associate this with erotica or foreplay, but not sex. And excuse me as this will definitely offend many people, but music these days needs some good ol’ fucking. So it can get out of this emotional masturbatory shithole that it is currently occupying. The whole world needs some healthy sex. So it can stop touching itself while watching Twilight and listening to Taylor Swift. No offense. I know they’re just targeting a group of people which will never cease to exist – those who got brokenhearted, dumped, can’t get laid or are just plain emo’s. No offense. Anyone’s allowed to have some drama in their life. It’s just.. not very productive to get that sucked into it. It’s like trying to heal a wound by constantly scratching at it. It’s like watching American TV with all the ads about anti-depressants and Xanax. Because we are all so unhappy and unfulfilled. And the music industry these days is only producing songs to cry to. And we get TV shows that just revolve around drama. So many shows were turned to shit by adding needless drama where it didn’t fit at all. House M.D., Weeds, CSI, to name a few. And then the news cover us with their puke of bad journalism and you’re all going to die kinda shit. No wonder everyone is so fucking unhappy. It’s a whole ecosystem of lame, low-grade drama. And art is not art anymore, it’s fart. An expensive pretentious attempt at expressing drama. Because the stuff that gets liked and popular is the stuff that is first advertised as liked and popular. With a lot of money. Ooh, this video has 40 million views, it must be really good. And then we got hipsters who knew cool before it was cool, even though it is just another pop movement that favours a set of brands and a set of artists. Because it doesn’t find undiscovered good stuff before it gets popular. It just stops favouring things that have reached a certain level of popularity. And dresses like shit, by the way. The problem with pop and fashion is that it comprises a set of rules that you need to follow in order to be cool. And it leaves no real space for originality, because it has its own symbols and the only way to be original is to re-arrange those symbols in various, but not too complicated ways. Right now it’s the 808 bassline. Which got too cool so it will start dying away soon. I digress. What I’m trying to get at is that we are being fed shit that is advertised as top stuff. Or something else, anyway. Nothing is what it really is and everything is photoshopped and sugar-coated until it looks like something you can sell. And sex sells in any business category other than music, literature and films. It does show up in some way in those categories but only as an appearance trick and is not content-defining. The content they sell through is drama. It’s all such a sad little wank that sometimes when you see what’s on Mtv Hits/Dance/etc but not the Mtv because that’s reality TV now, you want to switch to a porn channel and watch people just fuck. Not drama, not emotional wanks. Just Fucking. Really. Because pop will not eat itself. It will masturbate itself to death.
