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It's Not Rocket Science! Five Questions Over CoffeeHelping business owners explode their business growth Author: The Complete Approach
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Five Questions Over Coffee with RJ Horner (ep. 138)
Episode 138
Thursday, 15 January, 2026
Who is RJ?RJ Horner’s journey began from a place of deep frustration and anger—twelve years ago, he was unhappy with his life and felt nothing was going right. His anger affected every aspect of his world, pushing people away. Yet, amid this struggle, RJ discovered a turning point when he clung to one idea: there had to be a better way. With the support of those few who stayed by his side, especially insightful mentors, RJ started to see life differently. Their guidance reminded him of his capabilities, recognizing his education and potential even when he could not. Through this transformation, RJ found peace and purpose, building a fulfilling life grounded in resilience, learning, and the unwavering belief that things could get better.Key TakeawaysWe were thrilled to welcome RJ Horner, Life Empowerment Coach and founder of the Beacon of Life and Leadership, onto the show. RJ’s journey from frustration and feeling stuck to building a fulfilling life is both inspiring and practical—perfect fuel for your next growth spurt.Here’s a taste of what we covered:Recognizing When You’re Ready for Change RJ speaks directly to those of us who feel there must be more to life—but just aren’t sure where to start. Maybe you feel like you’re drifting, struggling at work, or just not finding the joy you know is possible. RJ’s story about shifting from anger and uncertainty to action is a reminder that no one is alone in feeling this way.Small Steps, Big Shifts A mentor’s advice led RJ to John Maxwell’s “Make Today Count,” which started his transformation. He reminds us: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Taking action, even a small one, is how you steer the car in a new direction.Tools and Support on the Journey RJ has launched the Beacon School of Leadership—a FREE community full of practical leadership and growth resources. He’s all about genuine service: “By giving value, you now get buy-in from people… They can trust you, because they know you’re in it for them.” Join the community for workshops, masterminds, and support from others walking the same path.Books That Change Mindsets RJ recommends:* “Make Today Count” by John Maxwell* “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale CarnegieBoth shaped his attitude toward leadership, service, and personal happiness.Where Do You Start? RJ introduces his 3S System for Success—State, Sightline, Strategy:* State: Where are you right now?* Sightline: Where do you want to go?* Strategy: What steps will take you there?Key Takeaway:Don’t be afraid to take the first step—even if it feels like the wrong one. You can always adjust your path as you go. Every attempt, even a failure, is a lesson learned.Ready to take your first step?👉 Join RJ’s Beacon School of Leadership community—free resources await.And don’t forget: keep an eye out for next guest. To submit your own questions, subscribe to our newsletter and join the conversation!P.S. Loved this episode? Hit reply and let us know what resonated most—or share how you’re taking your next step!_________________________________________________________________________________________________Subscribe to our newsletter and get details of when we are doing these interviews live at www.systemise.me/subscribeFind out more about being a guest at : link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/beaguestSubscribe to the podcast at https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/podcastHelp us get this podcast in front of as many people as possible. Leave a nice five-star review at apple podcasts : https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/apple-podcasts and on YouTube : https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/Itsnotrocketscienceatyt!Do You Need a P.A.T.H. to Scale?We help established business owners with small but growing teams:go from feeling stuck, sceptical, and tired of wasting time and money on false promises,to running a confident, purpose-driven business where their team delivers results, customers are happy, and they can finally enjoy more time with their family -with a results-based refund guarantee: if you follow the process and it doesn’t work, we refund what you paid.This is THE P.A.T.H. to scale your business.————————————————————————————————————————————-TranscriptNote, this was transcribed using a transcription software and may not reflect the exact words used in the podcast)SUMMARY KEYWORDSlife empowerment coach, Beacon of Life and Leadership, personal growth, self-improvement, career dissatisfaction, change mindset, leadership training, cognitive behavioral therapy, building better habits, finding purpose, contentment, overcoming anger, community support, self-discovery, personal legacy, leadership community, free leadership resources, self-awareness, serving others, mindset shift, taking the first step, overcoming fear, career transition, personal development books, John Maxwell, Make Today Count, Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, achieving success, 3S system (state, sightline, strategy)SPEAKERRJ Horner, Stuart WebbStuart Webb [00:00:33]:Hi, and welcome back to Five Questions Over Coffee. I have my coffee, which I very nearly spilled as I lift it up, so I better, I better not do any more of that. I’m delighted to be joined Today with by R.J. horner. R.J. is a, he’s a life empowerment coach. He’s going to talk to us about that. He’s running something called the Beacon of Life and Leadership.Stuart Webb [00:00:55]:I’m really interested in talking through what he’s doing with that and talking about the way in which he wants to talk about change, in the fact that if you want to change the way you see, you see the world, you have to change the way that you actually interact with it. So, rj, welcome to the podcast. Welcome to five Questions Over Coffee. Really looking forward to this conversation.RJ Horner [00:01:16]:Yeah, I like the, the concept you’ve got here. It’s just, you know, an informal chat with people. I’ve got my coffee. I’m all excited about where this conversation will go. And again, it’s all about helping to change people’s lives, helping people to put them on the path to betterment. So glad to have this conversation with you this morning.Stuart Webb [00:01:35]:That’s brilliant, rj. Look, let’s just start with that. You’re trying to help people to understand how they can change themselves, to see the world in a different way, the way they can better interact with the world. Talk to us a little bit about the sort of people who you’re working with helping at this time.RJ Horner [00:01:53]:Yeah, look, I believe we all have the opportunity for a better life. Some of us just don’t look for, for it. We don’t step into it. We struggle. We, you know, we, look, we have to pay the bills, so we have jobs. So, you know, and then some of us, many of us are living paycheck to paycheck. We’re unable to find that opportunity to just live life. And that’s where this all came from.RJ Horner [00:02:17]:See, 12 years ago, I was pissed off and angry at the world because I hated my life. And where I was at the time, nothing was going right. I was angry. And that anger came out in everything I did. And when I found my piece, it’s because I, I, I built it on one concept. There has to be a better way. And, you know, thankfully I had people in my life still, because I was chasing people away from me, right? And thankfully, I still had people in my life who were willing to help me, who were willing to help me see through, see things through. And see the of my mentors at the time said, look, he says, you’re one of the most educated people I know.RJ Horner [00:03:03]:You’ve always got your head in a book. If you’re looking for answers, why not turn to those books? And within a week, I found a book called Make Today Count from John Maxwell. And it really was about doing the little things to find the peace in your life. So that’s who I’m looking to serve. I’m looking to help those people who, you know, they. They know they’re meant for more. They know could live a better life. They just don’t know how.RJ Horner [00:03:33]:And that’s one of the things I used to tell my wife at the time. She said, why can’t you be any better? Why can’t you, you know, just be happier? I said, I don’t know how. Well, now I’m here to help people, show. Help, show people how to find that better life, how to find the peace and joy in their life.Stuart Webb [00:03:49]:Brilliant. Brilliant. Let’s. Let’s talk a little bit about the people that you’ve just sort of talked about. How might they recognize themselves? What. What are the things that they’re doing at the moment to try and find that. That path, that contentment, which perhaps, you know, that and they’re missing? You know, how would they recognize themselves in, you know, in actions that they’re taking at the moment?RJ Horner [00:04:12]:Yeah, look, you know, first of all, you’re questioning yourself, right? You know, you are meant for more. You know, there’s more you could be doing. You just don’t. Maybe don’t know what that is, don’t know where that joy and peace and happiness is. With me, at the time, it was. I was angry with the life I was living. I hated my job because I hated my life because there wasn’t enough money. So if you’re constantly angry and upset about these things, it means you’re looking for something else.RJ Horner [00:04:43]:And to find that thing, you have to find. At the time, I had to find joy in the work I was doing. So finding those little things, you know, and. And maybe that’s taking some time to go to the park, connect with nature, connect better with family and friends. Right. Take notice of the thoughts and the feelings that you’re having. That was the one thing that helped me change at the time was called cognitive behavioral therapy. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of it, cbt, but really it is about notice the thought or the action that you’re having right now, what is the action or the outcome of that action or thought, and then reframing it.RJ Horner [00:05:28]:Into what is a better way. I can think about that. So there’s a way that not only can you notice the thoughts and the attitudes that you’re having, but find a way to make them a little more suitable to your needs.Stuart Webb [00:05:43]:And rj, from what you’ve said, you’ve obviously got ways to help people which, which will really sort of start to resonate. I know that you’ve got some stuff that we’re going to put into our, our vault, which is at www.systemize.me. free hyphen stuff. Tell us about some of the, some of the valuable advice, some of the valuable offers that you’ve got there which will help people to, to recognize this and get through it.RJ Horner [00:06:15]:You know, that for me has been an evolution as far as what I can offer, because I’m all about serving people. Don’t get me wrong. Down the road, we do have some programs and things to sell people. Of course, I mean, otherwise you’re not doing this, you know, to be sustainable. But me, it’s all about service. So we have now created a free community for people, Beacon School of Leadership. And it is a school community where we, we’re offering free training on leadership and growth and then we’re offering masterminds and workshops through that community. So plenty of resources for people.RJ Horner [00:06:53]:And we’re serving those people who want to build a legacy, who want to go out there and serve others. People like me who have gone through the battle, they’ve, they’ve experience some things, they’ve learned some lessons, and now they want to share those lessons with, with other people. So we really want to get people into that community so we can start to serve them in a greater capacity.Stuart Webb [00:07:18]:And I know I’ve been on and I’ve, I’ve looked at what you’ve got going on there, and I really do think it’s a great community side. I really encourage people. Go to that, go to the link, pick up where you can go and find where RJ has started this community, where he’s building this, this great set of resources and get yourself plugged into that because I think it’s a great set of resources. Rj, you’ve kind of, you’ve kind of just sort of touched upon this a little bit, but there must be other books, other things, and you’ve given us a little bit of the history that, you know, you were, you were not making the most of your life. You were, you were not enjoying kind of what you were doing. And you talked about making today count. Is there another Book any other courses which actually sort of brought you through where you are, where you were to, to what you’re doing today with the Beacon Life and Leadership School.RJ Horner [00:08:09]:Of course, you know, this has been an evolution of 12 years for me. So I mean there have been so many resources, so many trainings, books, you know, one book leads into another. So the first book I have was John Maxwell’s Make Today Count in that he referenced how to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. I do recommend that to anyone because it will te you how to drop the attitude or the predeterminations. Right. And learn about people. Learn how to think along their lines so that you’re able to understand them, empathize with them and gain their favor. Yes.RJ Horner [00:08:54]:In a way. So that you really, you get them to know you because they’ll be more interested in you because you’re so interested in them.Stuart Webb [00:09:09]:And what advice have you gathered from that? That actually you, you’ve, you’ve started passing on? I mean obviously it’s, it’s changed your attitude in serving. Are there other, are there other, are there quick lessons that you could give people again?RJ Horner [00:09:25]:You know, we are selfish human beings. As human beings, we are selfish. It’s all about what’s in it for me. Right. But I’ve learned through the years that, okay, it’s okay to be selfish. It’s okay to think about, number one, you’re not going to get anything if you don’t think about what you’re going to get from things or how you’re going to, you know, achieve your own success. But really I’ve learned that it’s about serving people, getting to know people, offering genuine concern, genuine interest. And then because you’re interested in serving them, you’re interested in offering value to them.RJ Horner [00:10:05]:By giving that value, you now get buy in from them on whatever it is you’re trying to achieve, whatever it is the outcome you want them to receive, you’ve got to buy it because they can trust you, because they know you’re in it for them.Stuart Webb [00:10:19]:Brilliant. Brilliant. And so you know that that applies to life, it applies to business, it applies, as you say, to leadership situations where you need to take people forward. So whether or not you’re a CEO of a big business, a large, a small business, even if you’re a, you’re a teacher in a classroom, you have to have that trust. You have to have the best interests of the people you’re serving at heart. Otherwise you can’t do your best for them. Absolutely brilliant. Look RJ There must be a simple question that I failed to ask at this stage, one that you’re thinking, I don’t understand why I’ve spent all this time talking to this guy and he still hasn’t actually asked me the real killer question.Stuart Webb [00:11:07]:So what is that killer question that I should have asked by now? And obviously, once you’ve told me what it is, you’ll have to answer it, because I don’t know it.RJ Horner [00:11:14]:You know, it’s. It’s. Where do I start, right? Because people are looking at their lives and going, I’m struggling. I don’t know why, I don’t know what to do. Where do I start? How do I. How do I. Again, I haven’t figured it out. I don’t know where to begin, Right? That was one of my biggest questions at the time.RJ Horner [00:11:34]:And it begins, look, boots out, right? The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.Stuart Webb [00:11:41]:Great.RJ Horner [00:11:41]:So we have to take that step. I remember my wife and I went on a trip, and we went on a trip out east. This was actually our first vacation together in, you know, 15 years. We hadn’t gone anywhere, we hadn’t tried to go anywhere. And my wife said to me, I’ve got these tickets to. To go out onto one of these cruises out in Belleville. Now we live in Ontario by Toronto. And she says, I have these tickets to go on this cruise out in Belleville.RJ Horner [00:12:11]:And that led to, well, Belleville’s five hours, four hours, five hours away. If we’re going to go out there to go on a cruise, we’ve always talked about going down east, right, to visit, you know, pei, Newfoundland, that sort of thing. And I said, well, if we’re going to go the five hours, why not go the next day to. To New Brunswick and then we can, you know, go to. And then we started the conversation, kept going, oh, we can go to P.E.I. and go visit Charlottetown like we always wanted to, and led into this whole plan of what we were going to do for a vacation, right? Start thinking about, what is that one thing I need to change? What is it I want to accomplish? Stephen Covey always says, begin with the end in mind, Right? What is the outcome you’re trying to achieve? I have been given a tool that I’d like to share with people. It’s the 3S system to achieve success. Okay? It’s state sightline strategy.RJ Horner [00:13:09]:So state, what is your current state? Where are you right now? Sightline. What is that end goal that you’re hoping to achieve? Right. Look, far down the line, you know, over everything that’s standing in your way and go, here’s what I want to achieve. Now put it in the middle. Go. Here’s what it’s going to take to achieve these things. And there’s that. That first step will come because all of these things that you could do.RJ Horner [00:13:35]:But if I did this one thing, I’d get to this thing, then I’d get to this thing so that eventually you can get to that sight line that you see.Stuart Webb [00:13:43]:Do you know, I sometimes think, rj, that people are afraid to take that first step because they’re saying, well, what if it’s the step in the wrong direction? But I have often said to people when they are stationary, you cannot change the direction of your car by sitting by the curbside and waiting for the right. You’ve got to start moving forward. You can change the direction of the wheels once you’re moving forward, but you will get nowhere if you just sit there and wait for the wheels to start returning you. You have to move, don’t you? And if you’ve moved in the wrong direction, well, so what? You know, you change direction. What does it matter? Yeah, but move, for goodness sake. Go in a direction and then assess if it’s the right direction. And no plan, no plan ever survived first contact with the energy. As I believe, enemy.Stuart Webb [00:14:28]:As. As one great general said, you have to assess and you have to just turn around and say, okay, we went in a slightly wrong direction, but we’ll get back on track.RJ Horner [00:14:36]:Yeah, I’m a professional driver. That’s what I’ve done for most of my career, and that’s the job I was dissatisfied with as a time. But as a driver, the one thing I’ve learned is we can always adjust our direction. I’m a driver for a transit agency, and that was one of the things that they empowered us with because you get stuck in traffic, road closures, you know, shut down your. Your path of travel. You can always readjust. You can pivot and take this highway, you can take this route. You know, you can backtrack and start again if you want to.RJ Horner [00:15:12]:Right. So every step you take is not necessary, even though it may be the wrong one, is not necessarily the wrong path. It’s just you’ve. Again, Thomas Edison, who, you know, failed 10,000 times according to everybody, but he said, no, I didn’t fail 10,000 times. I learned 10,000 ways in which it wouldn’t work.Stuart Webb [00:15:32]:Yeah, right. Yeah.RJ Horner [00:15:33]:So don’t be afraid to take that first step. It might Be the wrong one. In fact, most leaders learn from failure, right? Take that step, learn if it’s the right one, does it advance you towards that goal? You’re trying to get no, backtrack to replace that. You know, even in computers, right? Do we not do reboots so that if we have a hot failure over here, we reboot to our latest, you know, update so that we’re going back to a safe space and starting again from there? So that’s really what success, achievement is and learning from those failures so that you can move forward and keep moving forward.Stuart Webb [00:16:12]:Brilliant, rj, I’ve loved this conversation, absolutely loved it. And thank you so much for spending a few minutes with us, telling us about that. Listen, people, I, I just want to encourage you if you are, if you’re sitting there saying, well, I’d love to get in on these conversations a bit more and be able to ask questions of these people like rj, who come on and give this sort of stuff. Look, if you get onto the newspaper, the newsletter list, which is www.systemize.me, subscribe get it. It’s a simple format, only asks for your name and your email address. That’s all it is. You get an email from me which basically says who’s coming up on the podcast and what they’ve got to offer and you can join and look at what’s going to be coming on and ask questions and. And that’s it.Stuart Webb [00:16:56]:It’s as simple as that because we’ve got some great experts like RJ who have got some great things to tell us. Rj, thank you so much for spending a few minutes with us. I really appreciate you spending the time and I look forward to seeing more from the Beacon of Life and Leadership School and how it developed.RJ Horner [00:17:13]:Thank you. Thank you very much for having me on. It was a great opportunity. I enjoyed. Again, it’s all about empowering the people. I hope they take some value from today’s conversation.Stuart Webb [00:17:22]:Sure they will. Get full access to It's Not Rocket Science! at thecompleteapproach.substack.com/subscribe
