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The Self-Driven ChildAuthor: Ned Johnson
Helping parents raise kids with healthy motivation and resilience in facing life's challenges. Oh, and having more fun while doing it! Language: en-us Genres: Education, Kids & Family, Parenting, Self-Improvement Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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Adolescents Are Identity Scientists: Exploring With Chris Balme
Episode 66
Friday, 16 January, 2026
In this episode, I sit down with education leader, parent, and author Chris Balme for a deep, thoughtful, and often funny conversation about what adolescents are really doing during the middle school and teen years. We explore why this stage of life is less about “figuring kids out” and more about understanding the intense social, emotional, and neurological work they’re already doing every day. Chris offers a powerful frame that I love: adolescents as identity scientists, running experiments to answer one core question—who am I, and where do I belong?We talk about how adults can make that work easier instead of harder, why third spaces and unhurried time matter so much, and how validation, sleep, peers, and belonging shape everything during these years. If you live with, teach, or care about adolescents—or if you’re willing to remember your own—this conversation will resonate. Episode Highlights:[0:00] – Why it’s so hard to change how we parent, even when we know better [1:40] – Why adolescence is the right time to reinvent yourself [3:10] – Chris introduces the idea of kids as “identity scientists” [5:15] – Identity is built through social experiments—and adults can help or hinder [7:45] – The importance of different social spaces where kids can reinvent themselves [9:35] – Why “third spaces” and non-parent adults matter so much [13:30] – The critical role of unhurried time and reflection [15:35] – Sleep deprivation and what it explains about teen behavior [18:25] – Social approval, belonging uncertainty, and the adolescent brain [21:15] – Why validation beats fixing, lecturing, or minimizing [24:30] – Middle school memories, awkward experiments, and empathy [28:50] – Belonging comes first—before achievement and authenticity [31:15] – What we gain, as parents, by walking this journey with our kids Links & Resources:Allo Parents: https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2023/12/01/1216043849/bringing-up-a-baby-can-be-a-tough-and-lonely-job-heres-a-solution-alloparents Ned's podcast Interview with Michaeleen: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hunt-gather-parent-with-michaeleen-doucleff/id1676859533?i=1000643496031 About Michaeleen: https://www.npr.org/people/348778932/michaeleen-doucleff Adolescents Are Identity Scientists: https://chrisbalme.substack.com/p/adolescents-are-identity-scientists About Chris: https://www.chrisbalme.com/ If this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference. If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com
