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Ask Christopher WestAuthor: Theology of the Body Institute
Since the early 90's, author and speaker Christopher West has devoted his life to spreading John Paul II's revolutionary teaching on human life, love, and sexuality: The Theology of the Body. His beloved wife Wendy, mother of their five children, has served as his confidante, friend, and support through these long years of ministry. In this podcast, Christopher and Wendy combine their wisdom to tackle the toughest questions dealing with vocation, sexuality, marriage, and the Catholic faith. Language: en Genres: Christianity, Religion & Spirituality Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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Is sexual compatibility real?, Wanting more than a kiss, Exercises to stir up desire | ACW371
Episode 371
Monday, 9 February, 2026
–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–Questions answered this episode: I am a single man in my twenties and have committed to reserving sex for marriage. People often try to dissuade me by bringing up “sexual compatibility,” telling stories of couples who waited and later divorced because they weren’t compatible in the marriage bed. I struggle to respond since I can’t speak from experience about what sexual compatibility or good sex really means. My gut tells me there’s something selfish in this reasoning, yet every married couple hopes sexual intimacy will be wonderful for both spouses. So what is sexual compatibility, and is it really possible for a man and woman to be sexually incompatible? I am a young woman with a fantastic boyfriend. When we kiss, it usually lasts for only a second, but I’ve found myself wanting a kiss from him that is longer and more intimate. I also have this desire when it comes to being held by him or cuddling. Thankfully, we both love theology of the body and desire to grow in chastity in our relationship, but I’m not sure how prudent these desires are because I don’t want to use him for physical pleasure. Is it okay for me to want these things from him even though we aren’t married? Can they be done in a chaste way? Having had unchaste experiences with men I’ve dated in the past makes me feel as though I’d be tainting my current relationship by doing these things, and the feelings that arise feel more like lust and crossing a boundary. I recently came across your work and have been listening to your podcasts and interviews incessantly. It is truly life-changing material. You’ve referenced a few times a retreat where a priest asked you to perform various exercises to help stir up your desires so that you could really learn how to pray. What were those exercises? I haven’t been able to find them through all the listening I’ve been doing.Resources:Word Made Fresh Podcast on YouTubeWord Made Fresh Podcast on SpotifyColorado Ski Retreat with Christopher ---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? Join our Patron Community!---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 List of trusted counselors & psychologists*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org
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