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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts PBSEAuthor: Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman
Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class Counselors who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addictionwe get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addictwe KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage! We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast. Language: en-us Genres: Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Sexuality Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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He's Honest About Relapses, But His Spiraling Shame and Neediness Cycle is Exhausting!
Episode 343
Friday, 31 July, 2026
The partner in this situation (Episode 343) recognizes that her husband’s honesty about two recent relapses represents meaningful progress after years of pornography use, self-gratification, betrayal, and deception. However, the aftermath of those relapses remains deeply damaging. He spirals into shame, discouragement, and self-condemnation, creating a heavy emotional atmosphere in the home and leaving her feeling responsible for stabilizing him while she is also trying to process her own grief and betrayal trauma. His requests that she pursue him, cuddle him, initiate affection, or make him feel wanted become especially painful when he later rejects her or questions whether her efforts are genuine.Although unresolved grief, childhood wounds, and protective parts may help explain why addiction and shame become activated, they do not excuse the behavior or make his partner responsible for healing him. His shame functions like a bucket full of holes: no amount of external reassurance can fill what he has not learned to repair internally. When he seeks sexual or emotional validation from the person he has just harmed, he risks using her as a confessor, rescuer, and sexual absolver. Real accountability goes far beyond admitting the relapse. It requires him to tolerate difficult emotions, contact his sponsor, therapist, group, or recovery support, examine what led to the relapse, identify the deeper needs he was attempting to meet, and develop a specific plan for changing his recovery practices.For the betrayed partner, healthy boundaries include taking physical or emotional space, declining to become his primary emotional regulator, and participating in affection or sexual intimacy only when it feels authentic and safe for her. She can acknowledge his honesty without taking responsibility for his shame, and she can refuse to remain in a cycle where she is asked to pursue him only to be rejected or interrogated. He does not need to be perfect, but he does need to stand up, lead his recovery, respect her healing process, and protect her from additional harm. Genuine connection becomes possible when he owns his recovery and she remains loyal to her safety, truth, boundaries, and healing.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: He's Honest About Relapses, But His Spiraling Shame and Neediness Cycle is Exhausting!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
