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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts PBSEAuthor: Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman
Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class Counselors who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addictionwe get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addictwe KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage! We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast. Language: en-us Genres: Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Sexuality Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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He Spent Decades Secretly Lusting—Now He Says Other Women Repulse Him—Should I Believe Him?
Episode 351
Monday, 21 September, 2026
(Episode 351) A betrayed partner wrote to us about her husband’s roughly 33-year history of hidden lust addiction and a specific sexual fixation involving women’s bodies that remained secret throughout their 15-year relationship. Since D-Day about five months ago, he has thrown himself into recovery—attending meetings, working with a sponsor and therapist, completing disclosure, doing daily check-ins, eliminating old acting-out outlets, and practicing “custody of the eyes.” Yet what troubles his wife is his insistence that he now experiences zero slips, cravings, attractions, fantasies, or temptations and actually feels angry or repulsed when other women enter his field of vision. We cannot know exactly what is happening inside him, but we believe his reaction could be sincere. Early in recovery, addicts often become overwhelmed by the damage they have caused and recoil intensely from everything they associate with their addiction.The concern is that genuine repulsion is not necessarily the same thing as mature recovery. After decades of repetitive sexual conditioning, five months represents the beginning of change, not the completion of it. Strict avoidance may be useful in early sobriety, but if recovery becomes nothing more than “Don’t look, don’t feel, don’t notice, don’t be sexual,” it can turn into white-knuckling, fear, obsessive avoidance, or shame. Other women are not the problem, and sexuality itself is not the enemy. The deeper work is learning to live in a world with attractive people and human bodies while seeing others as whole human beings rather than objects, learning to notice attraction without feeding it, and developing the ability to engage sexuality with honesty, boundaries, mutuality, connection, and integrity.For this betrayed partner, the question does not have to be reduced to “Do I believe him or not?” His current feelings may be completely genuine while still reflecting early recovery immaturity, fear, or limited self-awareness. What will matter most is what happens over time. Does he become increasingly capable of acknowledging temptation without shame? Can he distinguish noticing from scanning and attraction from objectification? Can he be transparent even when the truth feels risky, rather than insisting everything is always “zero”? Healthy recovery ultimately moves beyond fear and repulsion toward freedom—the ability to experience whatever arises internally without being controlled by it, hiding it, or turning it into betrayal. His recovery will be demonstrated less by claiming he never feels anything and more by consistently showing that whatever he does feel can be met with honesty, self-awareness, and integrity.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: He Spent Decades Lusting—Now He Says Other Women Repulse Him—Should I Believe Him?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
