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My Inner TorchAuthor: DS
My Inner Torch offers direct and personal insight with help for those of us in a relationship with someone who is undiagnosed/diagnosed with a Cluster B Personality Disorder. This is a safe place to come for words of inspiration that draw from my personal experiences and is produced to gain understanding and to find direction as we navigate through the often difficult relationships with those we love who suffer with a Cluster B personality disorder that includes BPD and NPD. PLEASE NOTE: This podcast is NOT for those who suffer with these disorders. This podcast is for survivors of these challenging and difficult relationships. Language: en-us Genres: Education, Self-Improvement Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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Seeking Revenge!
Friday, 20 February, 2026
Send a text🎯 Key TakeawaysCore Points:I reclaim my power by detaching from the outcome.I stop fantasizing about the abuser’s suffering to break free.I cultivate clarity by accepting the abuser’s true nature.I rebuild self-trust by believing my own experiences.I redirect my energy from chaos to peace, recognizing peace as safety.I implement boundaries without explanation to regain control.🔍 SummaryLetting Go of the Need for RetributionIt’s completely understandable to crave justice after abuse, especially when dealing with difficult personality types. Wanting the abuser to feel the pain they caused is a natural response to deep hurt. However, I see now that focusing on their karma or eventual understanding keeps me tied to them. Every thought about their downfall is energy still directed outward, hindering my own healing. This preoccupation maintains their hold on my system and my sense of self. True healing means withdrawing from this internal “battlefield.”Finding Freedom Through Radical ClarityMy true path to happiness and recovery isn’t about revenge or the abuser’s suffering, but about cultivating “radical clarity.” This means I must stop idealizing the abuser or excusing their past actions. I need to accept them for who they’ve consistently shown themselves to be, understanding that their patterns are real. While this clarity might sting at first, I recognize that confusion only prolongs my pain. This clarity also means trusting my own perceptions and memories, which were often manipulated. My happiness doesn’t depend on them changing; it rests on my quiet affirmation: “I know what I went through. I believe myself. I trust my gut again.” This self-validation is like coming home and taking back my power.Shifting Energy Towards PeaceThe intense cycles of drama often associated with difficult relationships can make my nervous system accustomed to chaos, causing peace to feel strange or even dull. I’m learning that peace isn’t emptiness, but safety—the space where my nervous system can finally relax. It’s in this peaceful state that my real healing, self-trust, and capacity for genuine love can flourish. This involves setting boundaries without needing to justify or defend them. I understand that those who thrive on misunderstanding won’t suddenly see the light. Instead, creating distance and quietly removing access are my most effective tools, more so than arguing or confronting.Redefining Victory Beyond Visible JusticeI’m working through the difficulty of letting go of the desire for visible cosmic justice. While the universe may have its ways, it doesn’t always manifest in ways I can see. Waiting for the abuser’s downfall for my own healing keeps me stuck. True freedom comes from realizing that rebuilding my own life is far more important than waiting for their punishment. My happiness after abuse isn’t loud or ecstatic; it’s quieter: sleeping soundly, not obsessing over social media, feeling neutral instead of reactive, and experiencing moments of genuine laughter. This state feels like stability, emotional breathing room, and inner calm—a welcome, “boring” peace. My ultimate victory is shifting my focus from the abuser’s fate to my own peace, well-being, growth, and future. Noticing small signs of calm and reduced reactivity shows me I’m progressing, and that I already hold the key to my own peace.Support the show
