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The H&H PodcastConnected to the Richard Hanania Substack. Discussions with Chris Nicholson on war, Rob Henderson on movies, TV shows, and culture, and more. Author: Richard Hanania
Connected to the Richard Hanania Substack. Discussions with Chris Nicholson on war, Rob Henderson on movies, TV shows, and culture, and more. www.richardhanania.com Language: en Genres: News, Science, Social Sciences Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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The Sexual Marketplace as the Last Vestige of Our Darwinian Past
Tuesday, 13 August, 2024
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.richardhanania.comSome months ago, I had a tweet that went viral on what it means for a woman to say “I’m not going to sleep with you.” I followed this up with an article about the video, and Rob later responded to both.Rob and I decided we needed to talk about this. It turned out to be a fascinating discussion, and one that provides a great deal of useful advice to young men. Perhaps the most interesting part of the conversation is when we get into how the sexual marketplace is in a way the last vestige of our prehistoric world of scarcity. As an individual living in a first world country, you can usually work and acquire food, clothing, shelter, sanitation, and healthcare in straightforward ways. The one need you can’t fill just by paying for it, at least not easily and without legal risk, is sex. And, as I tell Rob, I think most frustration that we think of as sexual is actually a deeper frustration towards the feeling of being unwanted and rejected. This is why even the best sexbots are not going to make incels happy. Whether women will sleep with a man is the most honest form of feedback he’s going to get in life on his overall worth, and this is something we are deeply uncomfortable with. That is not to say that the sexual marketplace is in overall less brutal towards women. In many ways, they have it much worse, in part due to the always lurking threat of violence. It’s interesting that as soft as society has become and despite the degree to which things like paternalistic regulations and the welfare state try to smooth out the rough edges of life, the sexual marketplace remains the one important area where a kind of red in tooth and claw approach dominates. I also enjoyed talking to Rob about the ways in which society does not give people a script anymore regarding how to form relationships, and why this makes doing so difficult. This can be seen in a recent video of a young woman talking about how she has achieved career success and health but has no one to spend her life with. Not only are young people not instructed on how to form relationships, but even the idea of bettering yourself socially is seen as sort of weird. On many topics society tries to tell you how to think or behave, and people can either reject that advice or seek out other forms of information. When it comes to dating, there’s not even an “establishment” perspective on how men should meet women to rebel against. Other topics covered include:* Whether men are afraid to aggressively pursue women these days, and whether they should be* The generation gap in how people responded to the original video* How the online right exhibits resentment and bitterness towards women, and the way that they mirror many feminist critiques of men* Dating apps, and whether you can still approach women publicly* Why developing social skills and being comfortable in social situations is crucial for success* The importance of college and living in an urban environment to facilitate social interactions* What we think about the idea that men should focus on making money in their 20s and wait for their “sexual peak” that supposedly comes later.* How taking care of one's appearance, grooming, and hygiene can make oneself more attractive.* The importance of having a positive attitude and the need to avoid toxic people and communities.See also my article “Black Guy Hitting on Girls,” my interview with Jazmen Jafar and Farha Khalidi, and Rob on making conversation. I believe that there is a dearth of good information out there for men these days on how to attract women, and that this is probably the most important part of your life to get right. I highly recommend everyone listen to this podcast, but especially young men who would like to do better with the opposite sex.
