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Overcoming Betrayal & AddictionAuthor: Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst
The Overcoming Betrayal and Addiction podcast, featuring Dr. Rob Weiss and Tami VerHelst, presents a conversational Q&A style discussion drawn from listener questions about sex and porn addictions, infidelity, cheating, and hard work required to heal relationship betrayal. Dr. Rob and Tami are very good at engaging people struggling with painful life issues in a useful, respectful way. They also invite you to join them on their live weekly webinar (Mondays, 5 p.m. Pacific at https://bit.ly/DrRobandTami), where they answer questions live Dr. Rob is Chief Clinical Officer for Seeking integrity Treatment Centers. He is a 30-year licensed therapist, a PhD sexologist, and author Sex Addiction 101, Prodependence, and Out of the Doghouse, among other books. Tami is Chief Relationships Officer for Seeking Integrity LLC. Tami brings over 40 years of personal addiction knowledge, helping supply struggling individuals and couples with the resources and direction they need to heal. Language: en Genres: Health & Fitness, Relationships, Sexuality, Society & Culture Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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Engaging Your Brain in Repair and Recovery
Wednesday, 16 September, 2026
John Taylor and Tami explore the importance of engaging executive functioning in relationship repair and recovery. John offers several questions that partners can ask to jump-start engagement in rebuilding trust. They then answer participant questions about transactional relationships, realistic expectations for change after 25 years of betrayal, and the reality of building a relationship with someone who is selfish. TAKEAWAYS: [1:10] Why your brain stops working after D-day. [4:30] Hypervigilance is your brain trying to keep you safe. [6:45] Questions to ask that engage the frontal lobe. [7:30] What are we doing here? [13:58] What are our priorities? [17:35] What roles and responsibilities do we need to step into? [21:37] What am I personally doing to align with these priorities? [25:45] Have I considered my partner in my actions? [29:44] Effectively reducing tension in a partnership. [33:26] Do you really want it to go back to how it was before? [34:40] Can we stay together in a low-level transactional companionship? [38:05] What if we don't have a shared value system? [41:57] Is it possible for him to be functional when he's never made lasting changes? [46:38] Is there really no relationship with someone who is selfish? [54:02] How important are postnuptual agreements? RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. QUOTES "Things getting calm doesn't switch how the brain functions." "'Fair' means the person who has been betrayed gets to take their time to deliberate and think about terms for continuance." "Vengeance is not restitution or repair." "We have to coax our executive functioning into existence again when it's been compromised." "We have to believe what people show us more than what they tell us."
