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When Our Adult Children Walk AwayAuthor: Dr. Janet Steinkamp, EdD
My story. Reflecting my experiences, observations and perspective - in my words. In the early spring of 2019, under the coercive influence of her abusive gatekeeper partner, in the heart of the global pandemic and after several years of trying to sort through our erratic relationship, my (young) adult daughter made the heartbreaking choice to cut all communication with our family. I understand now that for a very long time, through her high school and college years, she tried to get her messages across to me. I recall instances when she asked me to listen, pay attention, and understand her better, to accept her evolving boundaries, to recognize her as an emerging adult, and to adjust my communication style to be more respectful of her emerging adulthood. She needed and expected a change in our relationship, in our boundaries, and in my recognition of her as a young woman. I didn't take her seriously and didn't listen to learn. I listened to respond, explain and convince. It took many months after she went no-contact for me to cycle through my grief. Like you, I experienced disbelief, anger and hopelessness before I could begin to recognize and accept my role in the reality of our circumstances. Even then, as I began to take responsibility for my contributions, my pain, confusion and hopelessness were often overwhelming. As difficult as it is to admit. I've come to accept that my contributions to our fractured relationship played a substantial role in her vulnerability to the charm of a narcissist. In her case, he was also her supervisor. The inherent power differential, her desire to please her boss, and her need for income positioned her perfectly to be manipulated and controlled. Eventually, she succumbed to his advances, and the rest is history. Today, I humbly and gratefully report that my daughter, our family and I have reconnected. My daughter found her voice and the inner strength to leave a toxic and dangerous relationshi Language: en-us Genres: Kids & Family, Parenting, Relationships, Society & Culture Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it Trailer: |
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The Emotional Nexus of Parental Estrangement: Rejection
Sunday, 15 March, 2026
In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, Dr. Steinkamp takes a gentle but honest look at one of the most painful aspects of estrangement: the deep sting of rejection. When our adult child pulls away - slowly or suddenly - it can turn daily life upside down. The decision to step away can shake a parent’s identity, confidence, and every memory about the relationship. No matter where an estranged relationship with your adult child sits on the Continuum of Estrangement, the pain and confusion of rejection can be significant. Listen in, and you’ll walk with Dr. Steinkamp through what rejection is and how it manifests as the emotional nexus of estrangement (e.g., disbelief, anger, and despair). Learn why emotions show up with such intensity in the face of rejection. Listeners will hear and consider five survival strategies designed to help you name your loss, separate your identity from the estrangement, choose meaning over bitterness, and begin the gradual move into acceptance and transformation.As you listen, you’ll be reminded that your grief speaks to the depth of your love—and that rejection does not define you. You are learning, growing, and reclaiming your voice one day at a time. Wherever you are on this journey, you are not alone.Related EpisodesThe Unrest of Not Knowing: Letting Go of The Need for Certainty in EstrangementRespecting No-Contact: 8 Strategies to Find Strength in the Stillness6 Mistakes Estranged Parents Make That Delay Re-Establishing CommunicationRebuilding Trust: How Estranged Moms Can Reconnect- Episode 2It’s Not Just About the Past: Why Adult Kids Stop Talking to Dad#WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway #EstrangementSupport #EstrangedAdultChild #ParentalEstrangement #EstrangementGrief #ParentalReconnection #AcceptingRejection #ParentalAdultChildRelationship #Fracturedfamily #FamilyEstrangement #ReconnectingWithMyChild #EstrangementCoach #FamilyEstrangementPodcast #NoContactfamily #EstrangementGrief #EstrangedParents #ParentalRejectionHi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.For more information, please visit https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.
