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Mom Delights Homemaking and HomeschoolingSherry Hayes Mom of 15 Author: Sherry Hayes
Hi there, sweet mommy! I am the homeschooling mom of 15 bringing you encouragement and delight for your day! So wash the dishes, fold the laundry, nurse the baby, or just sit and sip tea while we dive into the good life in Jesus. momdelights.substack.com Language: en Genres: Home & Garden, Kids & Family, Leisure, Parenting Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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The Golden Key
Wednesday, 4 February, 2026
You wake up feeling refreshed and ready for one of those instagram-perfect mornings where the house is quiet and you and your children sip tea and nibble on muffins by candle light while you read aloud Bible verses and poetry.Sigh.But then reality hits you.Your little ones come into your room whining, “Mommy, we’re hungry!” and you remember you FORGOT to buy more cereal and milk.So you scramble out of bed and waddle down to the kitchen, where you realize you’ll have to cook something.After rummaging about in the cupboards and fridge, you decide there are only enough ingredients available to make either pancakes or oatmeal, and pancakes appeal more to your stomach, so you get out a skillet and set it on the stove.While the oil is heating in the pan, you start mixing up your award-winning cinnamon flap jacks. As you pour your very first cake, your kids are standing around watching, their lips smacking with anticipation, and you feel a bit of triumph that you have been able to overcome and conquer in dire circumstances.Just then you realize—you don’t have a pancake flipper!There is that lovely pancake sizzling happily on the skillet, but in a second or two it will become hard and charred like a hockey puck if you don’t flip it—so the search is on.Everyone starts looking high and low, pulling out all the stuffings from the pantry and the cupboards, making more mess and increasing the chaos as you race against the clock.Just as you are about to give up hope, you remember that you put the spatula in the dishwasher the day before, but you forgot to turn it on.Frantically, you open the dishwasher and stand back as the smell overwhelms you for a moment. Then you reach in and grab the tool you need, slamming the door as quickly as possible.You reach for some dish washing liquid to scrub the spatula with, but realize the bottle is empty, so you have to scramble some more to find a full one.You look over to realize there is a bit of smoke rising from the pan—so you move the other dirty pans from off the other burners and place the pancake pan there so it will slow down the cooking process.Finally, your spatula is clean and dry, and you can flip the pancake, but, alas, the bottom is black, and so, instead of flipping it onto the plate of a desperately crying infant, you must throw it into the trash and start over again...with your children whining pitifully and pulling on your Pj’s.Does this sound familiar? If we’re honest, I think we’ve all been there are few times.It doesn’t matter how much enthusiasm you have, or how many wonderful purposes you’ve discovered, or what sorts of goals you have set; if you don’t have discipline, you will self-sabotage everything you set out to do.(Ask me how I know this!)____________________________________________________________________________We have been discussing what it means to have your best homeschool year yet, and we’ve covered these three elements so far:1. Enthusiasm2. Purposes3. Goals.If you’re new to Mom Delights, or you haven’t been around in a while, I believe it would bless you to go over the posts covering these elements, and if you are listening on YouTube the playlist will be linked in the notes.Today we are going to cover discipline of ourselves, our children, and how it affects our homeschooling lives. At the end we are going to talk about Charlotte Mason’s motto with her explanation, which I think you will find quite interesting.Now, to continue with the program…____________________________________________________________________________When you homeschool, there is so much freedom. You get to decide what you will learn, how you will learn it, in what order you will learn it.You get to tailor your learning to fit the needs of your child. You get to enjoy the natural flow of life.But, as with anything good, along with the enjoyment comes the responsibility.If you want breezy, happy days with your children, you must do the hard work of laying the foundation for them.You have to overcome your own tendencies to live out of control—in the ways you spend your money, the ways you eat, the ways you spend your time.You also have to train your children so they, also, can be in control of themselves.No, this is not psychology, this is simply common sense, and it comes out of the laws God placed in the earth from its very creation.In the beginning God created the heavens and the earthNow the earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.Genesis 1: 1-2As you can see, God started with chaos, and out of it He made order. He is a God of order—as we witness in all of nature.It is a theme throughout His book that He sets all of nature in its place and keeps each element right where it should be; the stars in their courses, the seas and the waters under the earth from overflowing the earth.He has a purpose for all things, and it’s only when His creation steps out from His purposes that evil and sorrow result.Cancer is a good illustration of this. It is a process of good, healthy cells growing out of control and becoming chaotic, eventually sucking the life out of one’s entire body.Lack of discipline is a lot like that.When we are out of control, anything we try and do becomes chaotic, and it eventually sucks out the vitality of our existence.We can’t live well without discipline, and we can’t teach our children without it, either.The first place we apply discipline is with ourselves.Now, before you get out a club and start beating yourself over the head with self-loathing over your lack of self-discipline, I would like to share something with you.His grace.What is His grace? It is the ability He gives you to fulfill His requirements.It’s like pulling up to a road tollbooth and the attendant asking you for $3, and then the attendant paying the $3 for you.God requires us to be self-disciplined, but then He gives the ability to us. It’s included in the package of gifts we get when we walk by the Spirit:When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.Galatians 5:19-25It’s also mentioned here in 2 Timothy 1:7For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.It’s already in there; it’s part of you as a believer in Christ. You just have to activate it by living by renewing your mind and walking by the Spirit—by reforming your brain patterns via His Word and being sensitive to the voice of God as He leads you in your daily living.If you live this way, you may still have days when you must scramble to find something to eat for breakfast, but this will be a rare occurrence brought about by outside circumstances, not by your overindulgence or laziness.Instead of doom-scrolling, your time will be well-spent. You will feel better, you will look better, and you will be able to respond to the demands of your life more sweetly because you are not afraid of what could happen next.You will become like the Proverbs 31 woman:Strength and dignity are her clothing,And she smiles at the future.Proverbs 31:25As you become more disciplined, it will be easier to discipline your children. Instead of correcting in spurts, you will develop the strength of consistency.___________________________________________________________Now that we’ve dealt with you, let’s deal with your children.Now, I know there are many theories about child discipline floating around out there, and a lot of them have their merits.But most begin with bias, and come from some scientifically-controlled study done by clinicians with clip boards. Few, if any, ever consult with the soldiers in the trenches where the real work is being done, and even these are skewed by limited understanding and subjective observation.So, instead of trusting these, I have decided to do something radical; I have decided to consult the Owner’s Manual given to me by the Creator of us all—the Bible.This is what God has said about discipline:No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.Hebrews 12:11That’s what we want—in our desire to sit quietly in the morning with our children and sip tea, we are desiring the “peaceful harvest of right living,” but we have to go through the unpleasant times first. We have to plant the seeds of order if we want to live peacefully.And then there is the tilling and the weeding and the watering.Let’s consult with that entire section in Hebrews:And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said,“My child, don’t make light of the LORD’s discipline,and don’t give up when he corrects you.For the LORD disciplines those he loves,and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.Hebrews 12:5-12No matter what current trends may be, the Bible is clear; discipline is not optional when loving children, it is essential.And, it is unpleasant, even painful!I didn’t say this, God said it.While you and I may want to skip all the harshness and the work it takes to rear good children, these things are part of the whole picture.Children are born with certain base desires; they crave pleasure over pain. They don’t have any understanding how to regulate these base desires; they only know they want something and they will do whatever is necessary to get it. Sometimes they just want to want something without knowing what that something is.This is why they need parents. They need someone from the outside who can train them in knowing what is good and what is evil and how to seek one and avoid the other.They need to have someone tell them not to put scissors in the light socket, not to smack their baby sister, not to eat glue, not to cut their own hair, and a myriad of other things.And they need someone to be direct and straight with them; no hemming and hawing and making sure their feelings aren’t hurt.Because life is going to hurt, and they must be prepared to roll with the punches if they are going to survive.Your children need you to have a close relationship with them, yes, but not at the cost of keeping them from harm and teaching them how to control themselves.Proverbs is the place we find these precepts stated clearly:Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.Proverbs 13:24Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be party to his death.Proverbs 19:18A rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.Proverbs 29:15Do not withhold discipline from a child; although you strike him with a rod, he will not die. / Strike him with a rod, and you will deliver his soul from Sheol.Proverbs 23:13-14Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will bring delight to your soul.Proverbs 29:17Now, I know that by sharing these things I am opening myself up to some dissenting comments, but please remember I did not write these verses, I am only repeating what God set down in His Word. And in case you thought these were all Old Testament sayings, here is one from the Book of Revelation 3:19:Those I love I rebuke and discipline. Therefore be earnest and repent.I think it’s important here to insert this verse:All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for instruction, for conviction, for correction, and for training in righteousness,2 Timothy 3:16When you are direct and strict with your children, you are not doing so to harm them, but to help them, even if they choose not to see it that way, even if they reject you for it.God is the best Parent ever to have existed and we, His children, reject Him every day. And yet, because of love, He continues to provide for us all, and He doesn’t altar truth just because we stamp our feet and raise our fists to heaven.Because I, the LORD, do not change, you descendants of Jacob have not been destroyed. Yet from the days of your fathers, you have turned away from My statutes and have not kept them. Return to Me, and I will return to you,” says the LORD of Hosts.Malachi 3:6-7(Of course, this all means we gradually loosen our control of our children so they can live their own lives, just inserting this here to allay any misunderstandings.)_______________________________________________________So, I hope from all this we can see that:1. We need to be disciplined,2. Disciplining our children is not optional if we love them.And, with that, let’s talk about discipline and homeschooling.________________________________________________________________Do you remember those elements to successful homeschooling?1. Enthusiasm2. Purpose3. Goals.I hope now you see that all three require this most important element of discipline, because when our desires are out of control disorder keeps us from doing any of them.We can’t go out on nature walks if we can’t find our shoes. We can’t draw if we can’t find any pencils or paper. We can’t do fun experiments if we can’t even find baking soda or vinegar.Also, as you will recall, common sense shows us there are four main pillars to real learning:1. Gaining favor with God and man2. The tools of learning3. Content4. Application.And with these four pillars our relationship with God and others is the priority, and now I hope you see that self-discipline is in that first tier.If we don’t have discipline in our homeschooling, we don’t have character building, and we can’t teach our children how to get along with and bless others.They won’t be able to learn how to read, write, and do arithmetic, because every time they hit a rough spot and feel like they want to give up, they won’t know how to persevere.They won’t have any knowledge of anything worth-while, because we won’t make them sit through some boring things in order to get to the interesting things.They won’t have the ability to apply what they learn because they will be too lazy and weak._____________________________________________Charlotte Mason has said this about discipline:By ‘education is a discipline,’ we mean the discipline of habits, formed definitely and thoughtfully, whether habits of mind or body.A Philosophy of Education, p. xviiOf course, this comes from her oft quoted saying:Education is an atmosphere, a discipline, a life.I also appreciate her motto:I am,I ought,I can,I will.Which she explained on page 330 of her book Home Education:I am--we have the power of knowing ourselves.I ought--we have within us a moral judge, to whom we feel ourselves subject, and who points out and requires of us our duty.I can--we are conscious of power to do that which we perceive we ought to do.I will--we determine to exercise that power with a volition which is in itself a step in the execution of that which we will._________________________________________When we pursue discipline, we are not doing so at the expense of freedom of expression, but for the sake of it. Our children will be better able to have the freedom to express themselves in all of their interests if they first know how to keep from being hampered by their own bad habits.In what ways has homeschooling helped you and your children become more disciplined?Let me know in the comments section (if there is one for you). This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit momdelights.substack.com
