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Great And Spacious PodcastAuthor: GASP
Four apostate millennials sit down and take a long hard look at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints:Follow these friends raised in varying degrees of Mormonism as they attempt to make sense of what the Mormon Church actually teaches, and how that measures up to actual history and fact.Oh, also were super drunk! Language: en-us Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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Episode 135 - Cash Me Ousside, God
Episode 12
Saturday, 24 January, 2026
Send us a textaaaAAAaaa opens the episode in classic Great & Spacious chaos, immediately acknowledging that Joseph Smith’s Abrahamic space fanfic has once again forced a cocktail concept into existence. This week’s drink, "Gnolaum Kokaubeam", is a coffee cocktail named after the aggressively fake cosmic vocabulary Joseph introduces in Abraham 3—specifically the “eternal” and “star/light” language that somehow sounds like it belongs on a Starbucks menu.The segment veers delightfully into tangents about caffeine, preparation-as-a-lifestyle, accidental recordings, earthquakes, and the inevitability of filling silence with words. The vibe is caffeinated, slightly unhinged, and perfectly aligned with a chapter where God insists—repeatedly and ungrammatically—that He is more intelligent than everyone else.Scriptures: [00:21:17]Moroni walks through Abraham 3, a chapter that functions less like scripture and more like a seventh-grade essay written by a farm school dropout trying very hard to sound cosmically important. Abraham is shown visions of stars, planets, and governing bodies, culminating in the introduction of Kolob—the star nearest to God’s throne—and a hierarchy where everything exists on a scale of “lesser” and “greater,” repeated until meaning collapses under its own weight.The discussion highlights how the chapter blends speculative astronomy, time dilation (“one day unto the Lord”), and premortal hierarchy, all while God declares Himself “more intelligent than they all” in some of the most awkward divine dialogue in scripture. Moroni emphasizes how this chapter quietly introduces foreordination, noble and great ones, and the scaffolding for Mormon premortal elitism, all wrapped in language that feels far more 19th century than ancient.Church Teachings: 00:39:14Claudia breaks down what the LDS Church teaches based on Abraham 3, focusing on foreordination, premortal existence, and the War in Heaven. The segment explores how members are taught that certain spirits were chosen before birth for leadership roles—prophets, rulers, and “choice” individuals—while still maintaining the convenient loophole that foreordination isn’t a guarantee, just a cosmic head start.The conversation unpacks how these teachings historically justified hierarchy, patriarchy, and racism, including older doctrines that framed physical, racial, or national “limitations” as evidence of lesser premortal valiance. Claudia connects these ideas to Mormon culture’s obsession with being the “chosen generation,” noting how every generation somehow inherits that same title, and how the logic of Abraham 3 continues to underpin modern LDS authority structures despite decades of quiet doctrinal cleanup. History: 00:59:24Abigail closes the episode with a deep dive into cosmology itself—what it is, why every human society develops one, and how cosmologies function less as explanations of the universe and more as justifications for who gets to be in charge. Drawing on comparative mythology and religious studies, she outlines common cosmological frameworks across cultures and shows how Mormon cosmology fits neatly into patterns of hierarchy, divine craftsmanship, and procreative authority rather than ancient Hebrew thought.She situates Abraham 3 squarely in its 19th-century conFollow us on Insta @gr8_and_spacious, Twitter @gr8andspacious, and Reddit u/gr8_and_spacious for behind-the-scenes shenanigans, hilarious memes, and maybe even a sneak peek at our next episode..If you've got a burning question, a hilarious anecdote, or just want to say hi, shoot us an epistle at greatandspaciouspod@gmail.com.And don't forget to like, subscribe, and leave a review of our podcast!Support the show
