Real Men Feel with Andy Grant

Author: Andy Grant

Real Men Feel helps men grow beyond outdated rules of masculinity to live with authenticity, purpose, and joy. Since 2016, host Andy Grant has explored how vulnerability, courage, and real conversation fuel personal growth, self-improvement, and emotional well-being. Silver Signal Award Winner Most Inspirational Podcast & Best Self-Help Show. Join our free community for men at https://realmenfeel.org/group Want to be a guest? Connect with Andy on PodMatch, https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/realmenfeel Show notes & resources: https://realmenfeel.org
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Language: en-us

Genres: Health & Fitness, Mental Health

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Reinventing Yourself: Autonomy, Competence, and Connection
Episode 402
Friday, 1 May, 2026

Reinvention, Grief, and Identity After Corporate LifeOn Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant talks with reinvention coach Shelley McIntyre about why workplace change triggers resistance rooted in grief and fear of loss, explained through self-determination theory’s three needs: autonomy, competence, and connection. McIntyre distinguishes reinvention coaching from career coaching by focusing on identity questions—when high achievers feel they’ve “masked” themselves with competence, status, and titles, and fear they won’t matter without them. They discuss the hidden grief of losing a career path, the “invisible contract” of loyalty for security that companies don’t actually honor, and signs it’s time to move on, including not liking who you’ve become, loss of belief in the work, and body sensations like “soul rot.” McIntyre outlines phases of reinvention (identity crisis, rebuilding foundation, experimentation) and emphasizes vulnerability, emotional vocabulary tools like an emotions wheel, and low-stakes steps like talking to people who’ve left corporate life, while reminding men that their value is inherent.00:00 Three Needs Triangle00:44 Meet The Guest01:26 From Strategy To Coaching02:10 Resistance And Grief03:31 Self Determination At Work04:45 Reinvention Not Career Coaching06:11 When Competence Becomes Mask07:57 Title Status And Terror10:19 Layoffs Threaten Autonomy10:49 Signs It's Time To Leave12:55 Annihilation Fear And Culture14:45 Invisible Contract Myth17:33 Razor Blade Comfort Zone18:20 Four Phases Of Reinvention20:02 Crisis Versus Pre-Growth24:15 Vulnerability Fuels Change27:16 Emotion Wheel And Vocabulary29:01 Low Stakes First Steps30:42 Where To Find Shelley31:11 Inherent Value Closing31:55 Final Takeaways And InviteConnect with ShelleyShelley McIntyre — https://burnthemapcoaching.com/Burn The Map Podcast — https://burnthemapcoaching.com/podcast/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/shelley-mcintyre/Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/group⁠⁠Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com⁠⁠⁠ for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | http://⁠⁠realmenfeel.org⁠⁠⁠YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠#RealMenFeel ep 402