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Real GaijinUnveiling the Real Japan: An American Expat's Inside Look Hot takes, commentary, and unfiltered insights on life as a foreigner in Japan. Author: Mark Kennedy
Unveiling the Real Japan: An American Expat's Inside Look Hot takes, commentary, and unfiltered insights on life as a foreigner in Japan. realgaijin.substack.com Language: en Genres: Places & Travel, Society & Culture Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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AMA Podcast (S-02, E-10) with Andrew Neuman, a Japan-Based Professional and Adoptive Parent
Episode 10
Sunday, 12 April, 2026
Japan records relatively few adoptions each year. The majority are adult adoptions tied to family succession, not placements of unrelated children. True child adoptions, especially of children from the welfare system, remain limited. Against this backdrop, foreign adoptive parents are a small but notable edge case, navigating a system that is both structurally restrictive and culturally cautious.Today, Real Gaijin was privileged to speak with a longtime Japan resident originally from California who made the momentous decision to adopt a Japanese child and raise them in a bicultural setting.Who is he?Andrew Neuman, a Japan-based professional and adoptive parent, has firsthand experience navigating the country’s complex and often opaque adoption system. His experience gives him a rare, practitioner-level perspective on the structural, legal, and cultural dynamics that shape adoption in Japan, from the constraints of the special adoption framework, which is called Tokubetsu Yoshiengumi (特別養子縁組) in Japanese, to the practical realities of raising a child across cultural and linguistic boundaries. His story provides insight into the discrepancy between policy design and lived experience, as well as the broader question of how family formation is evolving in a rapidly aging society.On the agendaWe heard about Andrew’s family’s experiences in the context of how Japan’s adoption process operates. We examined instances where the system breaks down in practice, the reasons behind the persistent gap between the number of children in need of “forever homes” and the limited number of successful adoptions, and the ways in which institutional incentives influence these outcomes.Key Takeaways* Japan’s adoption system is significantly underutilized. This leaves a stark gap between the number of children in need of “forever homes” and the number of children who are actually adopted. Though approximately 42,000 children cannot live with their biological parents, most of whom remain in institutional settings, only 300 to 500 adoptions occur annually. This means that only a tiny fraction of eligible children transition into permanent family environments each year. This underscores a structural imbalance driven by legal constraints, cultural preferences for bloodline continuity, and limited adoption throughput.* The adoption process, particularly for foreign applicants, is highly constrained, hierarchical, and psychologically demanding. Prospective parents must navigate strict prioritization rules that place non-Japanese couples, especially those living abroad, at the lowest tier. They must also endure long periods of uncertainty with no guaranteed outcome. The process requires candid self-assessment about what challenges prospective parents can handle. It is less about choosing a child and more about proving suitability within a rigid system. At the same time, a practical takeaway from the discussion is the importance of seeking guidance from adoptive parents who have already gone through the process. Their firsthand experience can help set expectations, reduce uncertainty, and provide critical emotional and procedural support.* Go deeper: Restrictions on the age of adoptive parents, especially the mother, are a standard but variably enforced feature of adoption policy across countries. These restrictions reflect concerns about long-term caregiving capacity and generational fit. In Japan, although there is no uniform legal cutoff, adoption agencies and courts impose strict de facto limits. They typically favor adoptive mothers in their 20s and early 40s for infant adoptions. Flexibility increases for older children, though matching odds are sharply reduced beyond the mid-40s. By contrast, the United States has no formal age caps, relying instead on a holistic “fitness” standard. However, agencies often impose soft ceilings tied to the parent’s ability to raise a child to adulthood. Other countries take a more rules-based approach. South Korea enforces explicit upper age limits; China uses tiered systems that restrict older parents to harder-to-place children; and India applies combined parental age thresholds that vary by the child’s age. Two consistent patterns emerge across all systems: age constraints are stricter for infant adoption and relax for older children, and maternal age is often treated as the primary gating factor, whether formally codified or informally applied.* Becoming an adoptive parent of a Japanese child—especially as a non-Japanese national—requires a structured, multi-stage process with limited flexibility. Applicants must first engage an accredited agency (often in their home country), complete extensive documentation and screening over several months, and then have their case reviewed by a Japanese intermediary, such as International Social Services Japan. Approval is followed by a potentially multi-year waiting period for a match. After that, the process shifts to Japan and includes travel, legal custody procedures, and a mandatory 6 ~ 18 month “period of nurturing.” During this period, prospective parents must reside temporarily in Japan to establish and demonstrate a stable parent-child relationship before finalization. Importantly, applicants cannot “hedge” across multiple countries or agencies. They must commit to a single pathway, which increases the risk and time commitment of the process.TimelineSubstack does not yet have the functionality to allow you to use a link to jump to a specific section like YouTube’s “chapters.” Please refer to the times listed below to navigate through our hour-long conversation. Thank you for your understanding.Key contacts (and resources)* LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aneuman/* International Social Service Japan (page for “Prospective Adoptive Parents”): https://www.issj.org/adoption-web-en/paps/* The Nippon Foundation (Happy Yurikago Project): https://en.nippon-foundation.or.jp/what/projects/youth/happy_yurikago* U.S. Embassy & Consulates in Japan (Adoption): https://jp.usembassy.gov/services/adoption/* Japan Children Support Association: https://npojcsa.com/en/index.html* Children and Families Agency (Global Site): https://www.cfa.go.jp/en* Adopt International: https://www.adoptinter.org/* Short Documentary “Japan’s Throwaway Children | 101 East |日本の捨て児”* Discussion of “What it’s like to adopt a child in Japan” with Andrew#AndrewNeuman #Adoption #ChildWelfare #Parenting #Bicultural #ExpatLife #SocialPolicy #Demographics #SpecialAdoptionFramework #アンドリューニューマン #ニューマンアンドリュー #養子縁組 #児童福祉 #子育て #バイカルチャー #海外生活 #社会政策 #人口動態 #特別養子縁組 #RealGaijin #リアル外人Please note that you can subscribe to Real Gaijin for free. If you are so inclined, you can also purchase an annual subscription for a relatively small fee.However, I understand that even the lowest level of annual subscription allowed by Substack may seem too high for many. If you just want to buy a coffee for Real Gaijin (or maybe a green tea), you can also make a small donation here:https://buymeacoffee.com/realgaijinAll levels of support - including just liking a particular article and/or leaving a comment - are very welcome. Thanks again for reading.While Real Gaijin lives in Substack, you can also find Real Gaijin on a few other platforms (listed in alphabetical order).https://www.instagram.com/real_gaijin_on_substack/https://www.threads.net/@real_gaijin_on_substackhttps://www.tiktok.com/@real.gaijinhttps://x.com/Real_Gaijin_https://www.youtube.com/@RealGaijinhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-wilt-kennedy/ Get full access to Real Gaijin at realgaijin.substack.com/subscribe
