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Dates & Mates with Damona HoffmanYou will laugh, you will love, you will learn to love again. Author: Damona Hoffman - Dates and Mates Media
From navigating dating apps to overcoming the friendzone to seeking a soulmate, this aint your mommas love advice! Hosted by the Official Love Expert of The Drew Barrymore Show and LA Times advice columnist, Damona Hoffman, Dates & Mates is jam-packed with interviews from your favorites celebs, authors, and experts. Dates & Mates is the 2022 Winner of The Best Podcast of the Year at The Black Podcasting Awards, #1 ranked love and relationship podcast by Cosmopolitan Magazine and a Top 10 Pick by HuffPost in the love category. Language: en Genres: Education, Relationships, Self-Improvement, Society & Culture Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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The Trust Test & Trauma-dump
Tuesday, 16 December, 2025
What is the magical first date zone between oversharing and playing it too cool? A listener named Brian shares: "I realize I have two dating modes. Either I dump all my emotional baggage on the first date, or I stay super chill and keep everything surface level, even when I want to go deeper. I've been hurt enough times that I just don't trust people to really be there for me anymore. How do I communicate in a healthy way without either overwhelming someone or hiding completely?" In this episode, we break down what's actually happening underneath both extremes. They're not opposites; they come from the same place. We look at the difference between throwing your pain at someone and letting them discover who you really are. Plus, we share the framework that helps you build trust gradually, without becoming either the person who overshares or the person who keeps everyone at arm's length. What You'll Hear: Both protection modes come from the same wound, but one looks like radical honesty and the other looks like walls Why your nervous system isn't your enemy, it's just doing what it learned to do after being hurt The goldilocks zone: how to start small and turn up the volume as trust builds What healthy vulnerability actually looks like in practice (it's not what you think it is) How connection points, not trauma dumps, create real intimacy on dates The power of follow-up questions and ping-pong conversation over one-way vulnerability dumps Rewriting your dating story: from "I keep getting it wrong" to "I'm learning to connect" Ready to get clarity on what's working in your dating life? Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker to track your patterns and see where real connection starts to happen. Got a question about vulnerability, trust, or showing up authentically on dates? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
