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Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner: Help With Healing CPTSDAuthor: Dr. Tanner Wallace CPTSD Resolution & IFS Training CPTSD Medicine
THEY DID NOT TEXT BACK. You said you would stay calm, but your body is lighting up like an alarm. You can heal what drives this. You can look perfect on paper and still be breaking underneath your unresolved CPTSD. Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner helps you understand and finally heal the root causes of your CPTSD-driven relationship anxiety so you can experience secure, stable, lasting love. Here, we answer the questions that keep you up at night: What are the signs of emotional trauma in adults? What are the types of trauma responses? How do people heal from trauma? How do you overcome anxious attachment? Each episode helps you connect the dots between the symptoms you live with and the trauma that created them, and teaches you how to begin resolving CPTSD at the root. Grounded in the science of attachment and the practice of Internal Family Systems, this show bridges CPTSD healing, trauma recovery, and relationship growth. Every conversation offers insights, examples, and practical tools you can apply right away to stop repeating painful patterns in love. If your big and small life decisions are driven by the fear of getting in trouble or being abandoned, rather than by a grounded sense of your own worth, reciprocity, and respect, you will learn how to heal what drives that fear and clean up the relationships that keep that fear alive. If you have spent years in therapy, achieved success in your career, yet still collapse in love, this podcast is your training ground for lasting change. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, a former tenured professor of Applied Developmental Psychology and current Internal Family Systems Level 3 practitioner, you will be guided through research-based, spiritually integrated lessons designed to help you resolve CPTSD at the root, not just manage symptoms. When you heal first, everything else in lifelove, partnership, parenting, and purposeflows from truth, wholeness, and sovereignty. Life is too short to feel small, helpless, and ho Language: en Genres: Education, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Self-Improvement Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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027. Stopping the Urge To Explain How To Love You: What CPTSD Influences
Friday, 5 December, 2025
So many childhood trauma survivors carry the same belief: If I explain myself clearly enough, they will finally love me the right way. This urge to over-explain is a predictable pattern inside CPTSD. It keeps you working far harder for safety than the other person ever will. This is not a communication issue. It is a capacity issue. You cannot talk someone into being safe, and you cannot use vulnerability or emotional labor to create secure attachment in someone who cannot sustain it. In this episode, I break down the trauma pattern underneath repeated explaining, including younger Parts protesting, reenactments of unpredictable childhood love, and the CPTSD belief that connection is earned through clarity, effort, or emotional performance. You will learn how to recognize the real signal CPTSD is sending: If you must teach someone how to offer basic respect, that is information about the relationship itself. We walk through the Self Leadership move that changes everything. Stop explaining. Start observing. See who they become without your coaching. You will also hear what the dream outcome looks like when your CPTSD is no longer running the show. You choose relationships where you do not need to narrate your worth. You choose people who show care, consistency, and genuine prioritization without being trained. This episode helps you interrupt over-explaining, reclaim your power, and recognize when a relationship cannot meet the safety your healing requires. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. https://cptsdmedicine.com/services HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.
