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Sexy Marriage RadioAuthor: Dr Corey and Pam Allan
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Feelings Are A Compass Not A Conclusion #802
Wednesday, 14 October, 2026
“How does that make you feel?” Four words. The most famous question in all of therapy. Not wrong exactly. Just incomplete. Because nobody ever asks the follow-up: what are you going to do with that? We live in the golden age of emotional intelligence. More language for our feelings than any generation in history. And marriages are not noticeably better. At some point it’s worth asking whether the feelings conversation is part of the problem, not just the solution. Here’s the thing about feelings: they’re valid as an experience. But the map they’re drawing might be pointing at the wrong address. The wife who feels dismissed every time her husband goes quiet — that feeling is real. But if her father disappeared emotionally when things got hard, that feeling has a longer history than this marriage. The husband who floods with shame when his wife suggests something different in bed — real feeling, probably not really about the suggestion. If what just happened is a three and you’re feeling a nine, something older got activated. That gap is the tell. Feelings are a compass, not a conclusion. They point toward something worth examining — about you, not about what your spouse owes you. The question worth asking isn’t “why did you make me feel this way?” It’s “what is this feeling telling me about me?” Corey and Pam work through both sides of that — what to do with a feeling before you bring it into the marriage, and how to bring it in a way that opens a conversation rather than builds a case. We’re not trying to become robots. We’re trying to become students of ourselves. The post Feelings Are A Compass Not A Conclusion #802 first appeared on Sexy Marriage Radio.
