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: lower black pain.A weekly series of words arranged, typed, and spoken by Jd Michaels. Author: Jd Michaels - The CabsEverywhere Creative Production House
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The Winter Of This Content
Thursday, 29 January, 2026
Getting older is fun, but feeling older is not my absolute favorite. Quite often there are aches, and sometimes pains. My grandmother used to call them “miserys” (miseries?) and was proud to tell us when she wasn’t experiencing them. I’m not quite that dramatic (ok. well.) and I do understand that my specific physical experience, while admittedly disconcerting and exhausting, is mild in comparison to the concerns of others.Yet and still.A great deal of my body issues are audible, which lends a kind of performance art feel to them. My back makes a series of dull snaps! whenever I sit up straight (signaling that obviously I need to do that more often); my tummy positively roils (which is a great word, but uncomfortable in practice), and my fingers crack when I reach for anything like I’m dropping a handful of 4th of July bang snaps. I am a mobile foley studio, which the winter months exacerbate.In the morning, I get out of bed with the exact flexibility of a leather jacket frozen overnight in a meat locker. My ‘lil bones randomly pop-pop-pop from head to toe all the way to the shower (which I like to imagine as a Fountain Of Youth™ – so to fortify that harmless fantasy I splurged on some special soaps with ridiculous ingredients and ludicrous scents (right now I apparently smell like MARVEL’s Iron Man, but Ravenclaw is still my favorite)).I never make a formal New Year’s resolution to get in shape, but this is the time of year I am more aware of myself - since I seem to be stuck inside with myself so much of the time. Outside the world is quiet, city noise muffled with a thick blanket of snow. Inside, I can hear my shoulders moving.I normally walk a great deal, but it’s not the season for that yet, so I’m trying to find more ways to “stay active” in my “golden years”. The “Golden Girls” on tv were all supposed to be in their mid-fifties, so I am doing what I can to keep up with Bea Arthur and Betty White. I would love to be that person who takes the stairs up to their office everyday in a spirit of raw vigor, but my new office is on the 18th floor, so I’d be completely vigor-free by the time I got there. Vigor takes you eight, nine floors, max. After that it would be Determination (floors 10-14), followed by Necessity (15-16) and then Embarrassing Desperation(17).I knew a fella who bicycled everyday from Brooklyn to midtown Manhattan. Amazing. So fit. But damp. He was always kind of damp. I think that would make me sad, a little bit. I may not be in the best shape, but I’m dry. Little victories.I bought a kettlebell. You might remember when I bought a “chin-up bar”. Yeah. That was fun too. There it is, right on my door. I do pull up on it from time to time, raising my chin along with the rest of me, but it hasn’t become a determinated habit. I did what everyone must the first time I tried it… I counted off three sets of 10 and then kind of rolled my shoulders back (“snap! ka-pop! krik!”).I imagined how after one week I’d feel it, after 30 days I’d see it, and after three months other people would slow clap when I got in the subway car.It only took one day for me to feel it, because I was an idiot, and I did not start slow enough. It took one week for me to stop feeling it, which fostered ambivalence toward the “chin-up bar”.So I bought a kettlebell. It is not as clumsy or random as a barbell, but an elegant exercise accessory for my more civilized age. Most of the movements engage the core, which is great because it reminds me that I have one. I am starting very slowly, as the first exercise is to pick up the kettlebell. I have not yet mastered the first exercise, because I’m overthinking it. My hands grasped too tight, and my back was GI Joe straight as I bent over. I found a kettlebell master on YouTube with over 500,000 views who was very helpful, but very pronounced, muscle-wise, much like an inverted pyramid. It would be accurate to say that he is bulky. I do not wish to be bulky. I wish to be flexible. And dry, I guess.The kettlebell has enhanced my fledgling exercise routine by intensifying that Tai Chi series I’ve been trying to memorize since lockdown. I have combined the two efforts, using the time to meditatively try to do just one thing. To monotask. But my mind drifts and drifts again, and there’s no un-stressful place for it to land, so it just re-fuels in the air like a fighter jet.But we’re half-way to spring. I can make it to spring, when my body’s noises will be joined by the trill of songbirds and the blossoming trees joyfully trigger my assortment of seasonal allergies.See? There’s always something to look forward to. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lowerblackpain.substack.com
