Static Radio

Author: Bob LeMent

The strange and humorous happenings in the lives of two US Midwesterners.
Be a guest on this podcast

Language: en-us

Genres: Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture

Contact email: Get it

Feed URL: Get it

iTunes ID: Get it

Get all podcast data

Listen Now...

Pharmacy Walk
Episode 39
Tuesday, 29 September, 2026

Bob jets back from San Antonio and has a few interesting experiences, while Miles cuts to the front of the seniors’ line at the pharmacy. GAMES, like old-school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/OcUuaUnMZ_A Static Radio – Pharmacy Walk Bob jets back from San Antonio and has a few interesting experiences, while Miles cuts to the front of the seniors’ line at the pharmacy. Pharmacy Walk Bad AI Transcript no sex no drugs no wine no women no one this is mine welcome to daddy does it sound like one of Marge’s sisters there yeah Thelma yeah Thelma Thelma Thelma and Thelma yeah Marge you got a good breakup with Homer. Divorce him. Yeah. Welcome, everybody, to the Miles title extravaganza. Welcome to my playhouse house. Miles is going to sing Rammstein for us this week. Take it away, Miles. Oh, sometimes the sausages in the playhouse. Tug, tug, tug, tug, tug, tug, tug, tug. very good. Right. Yeah. Love the ramstein i don’t i don’t know i don’t really listen. My son does i don’t seems a little bit too dark for me. So I don’t know if i don’t know i don’t know well i was uhin the city of Lights, oh, wait a minute, I wasn’t, I was in the city of uh the dead recently east st louis that’s right that’s right city of unmarked graves that’s east st louis yeah yeah city of no return yeah that’s right right right some people say. Oddly enough, though, a lot of the people they find are not from the area. They’re from other places across the river. Hmm. It’s kind of like having a wish sandwich. Mm-hmm. Bow, bow, bow, bow. No, I was down at San Antonio, Texas until just a few hours ago. Has anyone gone down to San Antonio? I’ve been telling everybody that I’m like, you know, the Phil Collins Alamo collection is available to view. What? Phil Collins has an Alamo collection? It’s crew t-shirts. Yeah, and he had all these artifacts he donated to the Alamo. Nobody believes me. They’re like, what?I don’t know. I still haven’t looked this up yet. I don’t know. I’m kind of skeptical here. You mentioned this off the air. I’m pretty skeptical on this. I’m like, oh, look it up. It’s there. It’s there. Yeah. So I was in the hottest hotel room I’ve been in in a long time. uh i mean you had like a lady of the night temperature wise i mean what temperature wise it’s like oh okay you didn’t okay you didn’t have like a lady boy or something with you there? okay Come on now and then i don’t know i don’t know what you do there so i was there and uh like the air conditioner couldn’t keep up in my room. It never got the lowest. I turned the thing all the way down, which maybe I shouldn’t have done that. But I mean, are you like me? Whenever I go, I travel, especially in the summertime. As soon as I get in my, my room, I turn the air conditioner all the way down. And then I dropped my pad. No. And then, you know, you go to dinner or whatever, you come back. It’s like crisp. It’s like you’re walking into a frozen wonderland. Right.Right, right. So I did that, and then I come back, and it’s like a sauna. A sauna. It’s a sauna. So then I suffered with the sauna for a few nights. I was there for almost a week. Yeah. And then, like, on the third night, somebody I was with were like, hey, I saw people getting fans on my floor, like box tickets. And I’m like, what? No, they’re fans of Phil Collins. Genesis. So I immediately called the desk and asked for a fan. I got one. I got a box fan. It was mildly better. At least the hot air was moving around a little more. But I have not had that kind of experience. Now, this hotel was supposedly haunted. I did not have any haunted experiences, though. You didn’t bring your equipment with you? I always bring my equipment, Miles. Oh, you mean my ghost hunting equipment? No, I’m not your dick. Yeah, no, I know. I’m just joking. No, I did not, because I heard it.I vaguely heard it was haunted, and as we were going from the airport into the hotel, our Uber driver was regaling us with the haunted stories from the hotel. Hey, man. No, she was a very nice lady, and we stayed at the Menger Hotel, which is a weird name, but Menger, which is like a really, really old hotel right next door to the Alamo. Oh, okay. You know, you could spit on the Alamo from the distance we were. Oh, nice. Yeah, exactly. If you really want to be a jerk. Yeah, well, you excel at that. So, yeah, we were right next to the Alamo and right across the street from the Crockett Hotel, which is another old, old hotel. Yeah. And I had dinner there one night, so…So you threw your weight around like, excuse me, I don’t know if you know who I am, but I like a fan. I need a fan. That oscillates. Why do I sound like the family guy? Huh? You sound like the family guy. You sound like your Chief Wiggum. Oh, I’m Chief Wiggum, all right. No, so I got a fan, which was really, it cut the, you know, because the lowest my room got was 73. And it’s like 90, you know, like 100 degrees outside. That’s not acceptable for me. And I wouldn’t even look at the thermostat after a while because it was so hot in there, like in the upper 70s. Yeah. But, you know, whatever. You’re going to be all right? Yeah, I’ll be all right.But it was an interesting old hotel, lots of cool stuff. But apparently there was some Sally, somebody who haunts the hotel. But I did not see anything. I was too busy upskirting in the lobby. I was too busy. I was there for work. Yeah, you always play that card. I didn’t go out. I was there for work. I didn’t do nothing. I’m the boss. I did go out to dinner on Saturday night. Oh, here we go. Salad. The salad rundown. Here we go. Salad rundown. Okay. Well, you’re always bragging about your salad intake, so I’m waiting for it. I didn’t eat salad on Saturday. Really? It was some type of crazy Mexican lasagna or something. I don’t know what it was. I didn’t.like it too much. Mexican lasagna. That’s what see well that’s the only way i could describe it. Okay. It was like had chicken and cheese and, uh, all your okay so what other stuff some kind of stuff in there. I don’t know. So, uh, I was on my, I walked because it’s about i don’t So I was walking back and got to see all the good nightlife of San Antonio. Oh, okay. Like this one poor guy throwing up, leaning up against the building. It was a good one. Was it your brother? No, it wasn’t. It was not your brother. It was some random guy. He was like… Wait, what did you have? The Mexican lasagna. It was like 1130, something like that. I got really late for me and made my way back. And there was a couple of Puerto Rican girls who were dying to meet me. They seemed to be looking for a good time or something. Somebody to have a good time.But there is… Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. There was quite the unhoused situation down there. But I’ll tell you, now, you know, there’s one thing that I cannot stand. Oh, here we go. Well, no, there’s more than one thing. There’s one thing in this story that I cannot stand. And that’s panhandling. But all of the unhoused individuals, as the proper way to say it now, nobody panhandled me at all. But they all seem to be very hot. Like overwhelmingly hot sitting outside. It’s too hot to panhandle. Yeah, it’s so hot. How hot is it? It’s too hot to panhandle. San Antonio is too hot to panhandle. Right. Even on the Riverwalk with the people who were hiding underneath the bridges that didn’t get shooed away by the police did not panhandle.Too hot, man. Like, eh. Which I found rather intriguing, considering. I get peed almost everywhere else I go. Because I thought you were a woman. Like, I don’t want any boob money, you know? I don’t want any sweaty titty money. Yeah, we don’t want that. So we’re not going to… Here’s a dollar. Liz Ugly Broad. Liz Ugly Broad. She ain’t got no money. So yesterday evening on Sunday… The people that I was with, they wanted to do the little boat ride. Yeah. And so we did do that. And it was so sad. It was probably the saddest boat ride I’ve ever been on. You know, most of the time when you go on a boat, it’s a joyous occasion. Okay. I’ve been on many boats. And every time people are smiling, it’s a fun situation. Yeah.Right? Love something exciting and new. So our guide was Sisto. Let me, uh, Cisco. I’m sorry. Sisto is different. Okay. Was he a friend of yours? No, he wasn’t a friend of mine. Cisco friend, friend, friend of mine. And Cisco was our guide. And we somehow, there was three of us all together. We somehow snuck on in front of a bunch of other people. Oh, nice. They line up to get on the boat, right? They fill up the boat. Yeah. Like, is there a group of three? And the first one of the people I was with was like, yes, we have three. And then we got to walk past all of these people who were really mad and get on that boat. Oh, I believe this. I 100% believe this. And then Sisto led us on. And he was really quite a good guy. So if you’re down the Riverwalk, ask for Sisto. He’s a good guy.But the boat was dead. It was a dead boat. Like all these hundred-year-old people there or something like that? No, it was young people. I mean, there was old people, but there was young people. And we were sitting back there laughing, and he was telling corny jokes and stuff. But I thought he was very clever, and he had a whole routine that he was doing. All these people, silence. Silence. They’re on their tablets. Probably boring. And I’m like, God, I’m like this poor system. I gave him, I actually gave him a $5 tip. Wow. That you found. No, I didn’t find. Yeah. You probably found it. Yeah. Wow. Five bucks. Wow. Dang cash money. Mark this day down. Mark this day down, man. This guy’s, I thought he was, was rather clever.And what I really liked was his use of technology. Oh? Yeah, so he had this really high-powered green laser. Yeah. Because a lot of the Riverwalk tour is architecture and history, right? Right. And so he’s, like, got this green laser, and he’s, like, over here, and he, like, shines this laser and wigs it around, right? Mm-hmm. And one of the – a couple of the places are, like – you know, places to stay. They’re like big hotels. Right. And I’m like, he’s like winging this laser on these people’s balconies in their windows. Oh my God. I’m like, who’s staying in there? It was probably like, what the fuck is that green dot? I’m going to kill whoever’s doing that. I’m going to get like, I’m getting sniped. People throwing their feces at you or something. Bastard.But he used it the whole way, man. He was like, woo! But Sisto was really quite a good tour guy. I mean, it was like the deadest boat. I don’t even know what was wrong with these people. We did go at night. It was like 8 something. I don’t know. But it wasn’t that late. Come on. Yeah. Really? Yeah. all bad. He’s making all his bad jokes probably right yeah i mean you know, you have to be family friendly for these kind of things. Well, yeah. I mean, it can’t be all right so he you know, told some corny jokes about things and told history. It was really quite he did it quite. I thought it was a really respectable job. He did a good job. And, uh, yeah, but the laser thing was like he had a big flashlight, which was super bright.and this laser and he would point it and highlight these various things as we were going along the river walk. And I thought it was like blinding light flashlight. He’d put on as well as the green lasers. So we’re right by the airport. And if you want me to flash a plane, yeah, that’s just taking off. I would be happy to do that for a $5 tip. And so I paid him $5 and now girl prison. Yeah. And he’s killed 300 people. So yeah, the, uh, Now, I went on that tour, what was it now, seven years ago? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And, I mean, he told me stuff I didn’t remember from my last one, so. I’m like, that’s great. I’ve been on this once, you know. I didn’t know that. I said, thank you for all your knowledge. I’m going to give you five dollars. Here’s a nickel, little boy.Wow, Mr. Big Spender. I know. Well, I was just trying to impress my workmates. Yeah, you’re like, ladies, ladies, excuse me while I get my wallet out. Hold on. I want to show you. Oh, Mr. Lament. I don’t have any, like, overwhelmingly hilarious things that happened other than kind of the nightlife. Well, I love to hear you getting panhandled. That’s always fun because I know you hate that. I didn’t get panhandled, though. I thought it was great. Yeah. But I will tell you that San Antonio continues in my large city tour that all smells like weed. Yeah. It did not let me down. It smelled just like weed everywhere. Worse than New Orleans? No. No, New Orleans. New Orleans so far has been the worst for panhandling and stinky weed. I did not get panhandled there once. Well, because you look poor.And they’re like, eh. Yeah. Benefit of the doubt here, I don’t think. Yeah. Yeah. Asking that guy for money is, like, probably a crime. There’s, like, no way we’re getting, like, five bucks like that St. Louis guy, man. That’s right. He’s not loaded. Yeah. All I see in his eyeballs is cheeseburgers. Hey, what are you doing? Look, he’s got… Where’s that Johnny Rockets around here? Johnny Rockets in New Orleans. Lafitte. So, anyway. It was a good trip, but honestly, nothing super hilarious happened. Yeah, right. I was hoping, you know, usually something when you leave, something happens. Right. I mean, some rude people, some people asking you for money. Yeah. So, I just… earlier today got an uber back to the airport and and for some reason, whenever i started the Uber, it put the pickup point like around the corner, like five minutes away. And I didn’t realize it. And then we’re standing there i’m like well shit this this isn’t even where we’re at. I already had the uber driver. And so i i sent him a message and i said, hey, can you come over to the Crockett? Because we’re outside the Crockett.and pick us up there. The dude went down the wrong way on a one-way street to come get us. That is dedication. Yes. So he got a big tip as well. Big broad wants me to come get her. I will come get her. I don’t care. Well, it’s so freaking hot. I’m like, I don’t want to walk. Huffing around. Little baby couldn’t handle the 90-degree heat. Well, yeah, exactly. Little baby couldn’t handle it. So then this guy comes around this minivan, comes charging up the wrong way on the street, and pulls in and picks us up. Pulls in like it’s old school. I was like, Oliverus, you’re our man. Thank you very much, sir. Yeah. Yeah. My brother from the gondola sent me. So that’s what happened to me. What’s going on with you, sir? You know, I pulled a Bob Lament, too, I guess. I don’t know. I cut the line. Yeah, I cut the line. I was an asshole like you, and I cut the line. What do you mean you cut the line? I cut the line. That’s right.I did my time. I cut the line. No, we, uh, so, you know, we, we, we, we, we, we, the last year we started using like a new pharmacy and, uh, which is fine, but like they changed the goddamn hours, like weekly, you know, this fucking, okay. I’m like, well, I think it’s eight 30. I’ll go in there. Right. Okay. No, I hear you. No. There’s like a gate down, but there’s people inside. You can see people working inside, but the gate is officially down. Right, yeah. And I look down to like the waiting line, and there’s like at least four senior citizens down there. Besides yourself? Well, I guess technically I am a senior citizen. I don’t know. Maybe I am. What’s the cutoff? Depends where you go. Well, I could get a discount, I think, at Perkins, I think, because of my age. You know, I bought the ticket to the little boat ride by myself. Yeah. And the guy, he points down to this sheet. He goes, does any of these apply to you? Yeah. What are you insinuating, young man? Yeah.Uh, let me see a veteran no uh no no he goes nothing i go i’ll just pay full price. Thank you. oh big spender. I don’t want the dollar off right oh that’s right you keep that effing dollar yeah i am i am a man i’m sorry go ahead And I had run out of, you know, I’m taking this new rat poison now because of my frickin’. You know, I tried to kill myself on my birthday this year by, you know, throwing a blood clot, basically. Yeah, I know. It’s terrible. I got to take, like, this rat poison for the rest of my life or some shit. Oh, my goodness. I’d run out. I’m like, oh, fuck. I let it run out. Fuck. This does not surprise me in the least. I mean, I have no one to blame but myself. Yeah. You know.And I was honest. I said, hey, I fucked up. And so I go there. I’m all worried about it. I’m like, am I going to die? Because I haven’t taken this, you know, like a day. I’m like, fuck. And luckily, like the assistant pharmacist, like used to be part of a, not babysitting, but like a child care thing a long time ago. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don’t get weird. Don’t make it weird. You were part of a child’s ring. Yeah, they would just take children. They’d disappear. No, but my oldest son used to go there. Yeah, okay. And we still remember each other. It was like 100 years ago. She’s like, oh, now you’re infirmed. Okay, but you were infirmed whenever I saw you. I thought you’d be dead by now. Like, no, no.So I’m like, hey, listen. You may consider my education. I became a pharmacist because I fear I’ll be getting rich off this stupid idiot. And you’re like, I’ll never see you again because you probably won’t live that long. And so the gate’s down. Everyone’s down in the chairs waiting, waiting, waiting. And I’m literally cutting the line to ask questions. Hey, I know you. Hey, remember me? Yeah, I remember you, yeah. My boy. Yeah, you remember you used to hit him, remember? And I didn’t even call anybody, remember i got you fired, remember? And, uh, now she’s, oh, yeah, now she’s very friendly, very nice lady, and, uh, you know uh you know you’re probably gonna be okay, but, you know, she goes, hold on, let me get the pharmacist for you. Like, he’s working on something, you know, diligently on a computerYou know, it’s probably getting ready for these old geezers waiting for their meds, you know, that they probably desperately need. She’s like, hey, Jeff, can you come over here? Oh, yeah, no problem. Yeah, he just comes over. Stop what he’s doing. Huh? He’s like, I don’t want to do this anyway. You’re like, yeah, F those old people. F them, man. Let’s go help your portly friend here. This guy looks jolly. So I re-explained it, like, okay, listen, I have this. He’s like, yeah, you’ll probably be okay. I think so, yeah, you’re going to be okay, I think. Don’t worry about it. Are you going to go dancing? You shouldn’t go dancing. I wouldn’t play any more pinball if I were you. How much Viagra do you take?Might want to cut down on that for a while, too. And I can feel the eyes upon me. Like, I look down, and I’ve got, like, four people watching me. Like, you son of a bitch. You son of a bitch. If only they had, like, medicine ready for me. I know. I wish they had like medicine to give me. Wouldn’t that be funny if they like handed it through like the gate, you know, like, Hey, we’re not supposed to do this, but, um, the gates closed, but here you go. It’s closed, but yeah, fuck it. You’re okay. Let’s go, man. You’re a friend of this lady. So it’s all right. Oh my God. You’re good. So totally cut the line like a jag off. Like, like what’s, what’s that guy getting all these blue pills for goodness. God,Everyone downtown is at least 75 or older. They’re all… Yeah. It’s an asshole. You know that? You son of a bitch. I’m telling you. I got cancer. We don’t have much more to go, you son of a bitch. I just want to get your dick hard. Jesus. I should have gave everyone the finger when I left. Hey, I’m up. What is it, like some kind of 80s teen movie with old people now? What are you, Ferris Bueller? What the hell? I’m like, I’m Bob Lament. I’m throwing around my weight like Bob Lament. I don’t have to wait in line. I’m rich. I live in a I live in this gated community like Bob Lamont. You know? Waitings for idiots. That’s right. For old and poor people. That’s right. That’s right. You live in Russia. I live in America. America. Yeah, I know. Yeah. I felt so important. Well, thank you. Thank you, America. Yeah. Yeah, I know. It’s not who you know. Did you get your refill or what?Uh, yeah, I was like, oh, well, yeah, we got it going on, but why don’t you call the doctor too? So we’ll double team them. I’m like, well, okay. Okay. It won’t be the first time. Yeah. You know, you got to do into the situation to begin with. Yeah. Boy’s got to do what a boy’s got to do. You know, I don’t care, but yeah, I’m a dick just like, you know, what’s up? Well, Hey, welcome to the club. Mm-hmm. You’re only as good as you think you are. I think you’re moving up in the world. [su_qrcode data=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/09/29/pharmacy-walk/” title=”Pharmacy Walk” link=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/09/29/pharmacy-walk/”