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Static RadioAuthor: Bob LeMent
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Gears Grinding
Episode 34
Tuesday, 18 August, 2026
Bob gets his stupidity outed on speakerphone while Miles singing gets him in more trouble than he expected. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/z9aVX4krunU Bob gets his stupidity outed on speakerphone while Miles singing gets him in more trouble than he expected. Gears Grinding Bad AI Transcript Hello. I don’t have enough TP. at war with racism, terrorism, and most importantly also this is miles by the critical wow listen that that’s right miles title the rap preacher. We don’t rap. We don’t think. Yeah. What was that from? Can you tell me the uh folks i was singing a little kanye for you. Oh, okay. I’m not familiar. The kids love Kanye, so I was trying to fit into our audience. Easy, huh? Yeah. Well, that’s nice. Next week, I’ll be singing something Flat Town Philly or Motown Philly. What is that called? The Sugar Hill Gang? Is it Motown Philly? Metamuso. Metamuso. I’m a little out of touch. I’m a little out of touch. I’m a little out of touch. I gotta poop. I gotta poop. Abolition rappers. Well, you always keep up on the trends. That’s for certain. I’m up on the trends, man. I’m trending. I’m trending like Brandon.That’s right. Oh, my goodness. Between that and you trying to speak Spanish, I don’t know where in the world you get these thoughts in your head that this is what you should be doing. I don’t know. I spoke Spanish yesterday at the cell phone store. What did you say in Spanish? I thought it was funny because there was a Spanish family behind me. And I was trying to go out the wrong door. And they’re like, sir, wrong door. I’m like, well, that’s a bunch of Toro caca. That’s not Spanish. I left. I didn’t even turn around. I left. So you said bullshit. And that, I mean, Toro, yes, is Spanish. Is caca Spanish? Yeah. Oh, I didn’t realize. So I conjugated it or something. I don’t think you, like you didn’t say a whole sentence. You said English to the point of Toro Caca. So it’s a bunch of Toro Caca, man. I left. You figure it out. Okay. Did they laugh or no? You don’t know. Silence. Crickets. Well, the guy did have his family there. So I guess really it was a little inappropriate. Yeah.There was children. There was a cell phone children’s party going on at the moment. Yeah, pretty much. Hey, F you muchachos. That’s something you never see, you know, the cell phone store children’s party where they go there for their birthday. I want to go to the cell phone store. Yeah, it was weird. I don’t know. There used to be like a a dozen people that used to work there to help people. And then there was like two. I’m like, what the fuck? Everyone just get fired. People don’t need help anymore. No, there’s plenty of old farts like me. Yeah. They’re like, sir, sir, we don’t have flip phones anymore, sir. No Motorola flip phone. Your text told me I need a SIM card and I don’t even know what that is. Yeah.She goes, hold on. Give me your phone. I’m no simp. She goes, give me your phone. I’m like, do not check browser history. She goes, I won’t, weirdo. Don’t look at my cash. Yeah, you don’t want to know, man. You don’t want to know what I’ve been looking at. Oh, cheerleader, cheerleader, swimsuit, cheerleader. Yeah, I was going to say beaver shaving. Upskirting. Oh, my God. Yeah, so my static radio is here. Can you say that in Spanish? La música, la música. Radio. I don’t know. You figure it out. Oh, my goodness. Wow. I… I didn’t do anything this week, so I was… I hope you have a story. I’ll try to come up with something. You’re always off to New Zealand or Fiji or something. I’m a little disappointed. Yeah, well, you know, you can’t… No, I’ve been traveling a lifetime. I know. Five vacations last summer really set you back. You’re like, fuck. I will be going on a short trip soon. I want to… Oh, who gives a fuck? Okay, so… Anyway…so yeah columbia today you want to hear about that i mean if i have to, I will. No, go ahead you you started go ahead let’s not that my story is any funny. It’s not gonna be funny, but oh well let’s go ahead uh your story you’ll kill this week, and i will suck, so here it goes so uh yeah thanks a lot. You’re a freaking jerk, you know that? Me? Yeah, you. You’re a freaking jerk. You are a freaking jerk. Thanks a lot For ruining my life, for ruining my marriage. Thank you. I don’t think you can blame me for ruining your marriage. Yes, yes. I want to thank you personally. I don’t take any part in your marriage. For almost driving me to divorce court. Thank you, Bob Lament. Thank you. I mean, I’m still holding secrets, so it can’t be me. So, you know, before we record, we…talk for a little while. Yeah. And, uh, you often sing a lot, which okay encourages me to sing a lot. Okay. Which I do enjoy singing, but I, like you, I can’t really carry you this is a lot. This is a lifelong thing. You and i used to, we were in college together. Yes. And we used to walk around singing. We would sing, I mean, not show tunes or anything, but we’d sing whatever song was happening. Holding hands. Yeah, holding hands. Whistling. Yeah. Hey, let’s just do Annie. Yeah. The sun will come out tomorrow. Yesterday was playing awful. You used to sing constantly walking around campus. Yeah, well, you got me in a singing mood, you know. So I occasionally, on my own, sing.I’ll just pick some random song and sing, right? Yeah, you get stuck in your head. So what possibly could derail my life, right? Right. So I’m outside with my dogs, and I’m coming in, and I just randomly pick a song, and I start singing Rolling Stones’ I Used to Love Her, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I used to love her. Yeah. But it’s all over now. So I come in. I’m saying my wife is making some kind of nonsensical dessert. She’s like… Does she experiment with desserts all the time? Yeah. She’s like the mom from Better Off Dead. And I get flashed a look. It’s called swan. Free leach’s cake. And she shoots me, like, the dirtiest look. Like, what? She goes, what the fuck is that song? I’m like, what? I wasn’t singing about you. I wasn’t. Why would I sing about you? It popped in my head. Why would I? Wait a minute. Stop right there. This is why you’re having marriage trouble. Why would I ever sing about you, honey? Why?You don’t inspire me in the least. I sing the same song to my wife every time I see her. My whole life is like living in an old folks home. I’m just here. When I see my wife, I sing the same song all the time. What’s that? No, it’s not that Earl. Shut up with that stupid. Rawhide? No. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. This is a total recovery song here. This is totally trying to recover. Unfortunately, I saw your face. Why do birds suddenly appear? I got a brand new pair of roller skates. You got a brand new key. Okay. I’m going off to the country. I made the huge mistake of singing a Rolling Stones song. Then why can’t I paint you? And, um, I get shot. You were singing, uh,What? Queen? Bat Bottom Girls? What were you singing again? It probably would have went over better. It probably would have. Next thing I know. What the hell are you singing? And why are you singing it? I go, it’s the Rolling Stones. It was a hit back in a long time ago. Before I was born? Yeah, well, probably. I’m like, It’s just a song I randomly picked out of my head. I mean, now she’s all mad. Well, I just don’t understand why a grown man would pick a horrible song like that to say it’s horrible. All right. So I’m like, okay, what about this one? She’s so cold. Oh, she’s so cold. Like an ice cream cone. Don’t ever get into the Nielsen catalog. Everybody’s talking. She was not happy with She’s So Cold either. That’s supposed to be better? Undercover of the night. Undercover. I shouldn’t have broke into that or just waiting on a friend or something. I made the mistake of going too far back. I see a picture.Yeah. I don’t know. I didn’t know this song was so off-limits in my wife’s world of insanity. I’m like, what the fuck? Now, I’m going to have to come up with a list and have it okayed with approved songs, apparently. Alexa, please run my list through my wife’s approved list of songs for me to sing? Oh, Christ. It’s all me. Taylor Swift. I know it. Christ. So what happened next? So then I broke into shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it. I quit singing. First of all, I stopped singing. I haven’t sang since. Oh, and I was trying to blame you for the whole thing. Like, you know, He’s got to let it out. He’s constantly singing like some kind of mental patient. And he’s got me doing it, and I randomly just picked a song, not directed at anyone in particular. Let’s rewind a little bit. Like the day before, you know I always sing my feelings, don’t you, honey? Yeah. I mean, I could understand maybe…If it was like, you know, I’m turning Japanese, I could get that. I thought maybe when you walk outside, start singing Kung Fu Fighting or something. I used to love her, but I have to keep her. When the dogs can find her, I got time. Well, at least you won. delving into nine inch nails. Yeah, that’s true i hurt myself today. Another one, but anyway, the, uh, so thanks a lot, Bob, for ruining my life i i don’t think I, this is. Yeah. Yeah. He can’t even talk. He’s all like… It’s been more than 30 years. If this is going to happen now, it’s not my fault. This has never happened before. I don’t know… What? What song have I ever sang that got you so upset? He’s not singing Bongwater.That would be the song, The Power of Pussy, I believe is what you’re referring to. No, yeah, I would not sing that to my wife or any family member. Thank you. Walking in the door. Hey, Mom. Yeah, thanks a lot, man. God damn it. When I’m a-walking, I strut my stuff. My stuff’s strung out. She’d probably be okay with that one. She’d probably be okay with that one. Let me go on. Well, thank God he’s not singing The Cure. Just be glad he’s not singing that. Nah, she’d be okay with that. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know there was a disapproved list. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I know now, but I didn’t know then. She runs for the hills when you walk in. You go, hanging around downtown. I didn’t know there was taboo songs, apparently. Well, maybe. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. Or maybe she’s feeling guilty because something else is happening. I don’t know.I didn’t sing the Lemon song by Led Zeppelin, I guess. Are you swearing off singing now? I guess not. I noticed I didn’t sing prior to the show tonight. Did you notice that? A little bit, I guess. I just wasn’t paying attention. I was just singing on my own, I guess. That’s right. Did you figure that out? No, I didn’t. i don’t know so i didn’t pay i wasn’t even know i have to come up with a short list of songs i’m not allowed to sing apparently yeah oh hole can you sing whole my doll hands. I don’t know you get misconstrued, I think. Or you just gotta sing, you know, the, the ones where you’re desiring somebody at a distance or something.Brown sugar. Oh, what was that? What was she making the dessert? There you go. Yeah. Whatever that was. You need to figure out what she’s doing and then pick a song that, you know, exemplifies whatever she’s doing. There’s that time. So, yeah. The lunatic. is in the hall. Yeah. Oh my goodness. Watch out. Oh my. Well, I didn’t realize. I don’t think i’m going to accept any of this blame. Thank you very much. Yeah. Well, you can do whatever you want. I think. the whole you were singing before we even knew each other. I think i you probably saw you singing. Not as much before we actually, you know, hung out together or anything. Uh, I was, yeah, probably more top 40 stuff though. You know, I probably didn’t. Yeah. Jesse is a friend.I’ve been singing that for the last two days. But instead, I’ve used my friend’s name, Geoffrey. Geoffrey is a friend. I know he’s been a good friend of mine. I know he’s holding her with his rotund body. And he’s got his greasy fingers. I just know it. I just know it. Oh, my goodness. Well, I’m sorry that this has caused you so much pain this week. Thanks a lot. Yeah. Thanks a lot. I’m sure there’s other things you can blame on me if you really tried. Blame it on the rain. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. I’m trying to think if I even have anything this week. It was so boring. This week was so boring. Yeah. incredibly boring this week. I know, right? It was freaking rain. Nobody did anything. No one got in a car accident? No car accidents this week. Thank goodness. Yeah. I’m trying to think if there’s anything even remotely funny.this week that happened to me. I don’t think so. I tried to avoid everybody that was, you know, that was my goal. Yeah. So I, I, you know, I avoided most people this week. I’ll put it that way this last week. So this weekend I avoided a lot of people as well. So I was very successful in avoiding and avoiding avoidance. Yeah. And my avoidance. So yeah. Yeah. Not much to report. I did get, speaking of, you know, wives being mad at you, I had to run and do a thing today where I had to drive for a few hours. And my wife calls me this afternoon, like early this afternoon. Are you singing? Yeah, are you singing? You better not be goddamn singing.I you’re singing hot for teacher. I’m going to be mad. What the hell does that mean? So, uh, no, but, uh, you know, we recently had some trees cut down, which is just so goddamn expensive. I don’t know, man. It’s just crazy. Yeah, I know. That’s all your feet here. So, you know, no Fiji for you this year. Yeah, exactly. So anyway, she calls me and she’s like, Hey, You paid the three guys? And I’m like, yeah. She’s grilling me. I’m trying to drive home. Grilling me. How did you do it? Yeah. I paid the three guys. Gave them a check. Who did you pay? What was his name? I don’t know. Stumpgrinder guy. I don’t have a name. It’s called Stumpgrinder. My name’s Stumpy. Yeah, just a stump grinder, guys. So little did I know that somebody from the tree guy place was there. On speakerphone with your wife. That was on speakerphone. Yeah, you’re like, the madman first kissed my nuts. No, thankfully I didn’t say that. I was like, I don’t know, the stump grinding guy. Anyway. No, what happened was they clocked my fence.Uh, in doing their job. And so they actually were very nice and came out and fixed it today. Um, but, uh, they had like, um, I don’t know, like a bobcat with a gripper, like a big claw on it that they’d pick up these big logs and take, put them in the, in their truck. Yeah. Anyway, he clocked my, uh, fence and invent a pole. And, uh, anyway, they came and fixed it today, but then he this is like the main guy or something. I guess I gave it to a sub guy and he hadn’t seen the check yet. He was going to pick it up because he didn’t think that we paid him yet. So, uh, no, I paid to the, uh, I’ll suggest your husband pays. I know that I was in speakerphone and it’s just like me. He’s my wife’s like, see, he paid it to the stump grinder guy. And I’m like, uh, honey, he has been good.on the front end. He’s got a knife to my throat, honey. Are you sure you paid it to this dumb guy? Yes. Anyway, it all got ironed out and everything. I sound like an idiot. Yeah, I gave it to this dumb guy. I’m guessing he’s like Bobby Peru from Wild at Heart. Your wife’s like Laura Dern. He’s been all super creepy. Yeah. no, no, I, I, this guy I never met. Cause he wasn’t, he never, he had people. This is like the, the man, I guess I met him when he came and did the quote. This is the fixer. Yeah. He shows up like, ah, this guy’s like the, the guy that doesn’t work, you know, he just takes care of things. And, uh, so anyway, he was gone last week and the other guys just showed up and did all the work. And then he shows up, you know, he, he fixed the fence because, uh,The other guy, he wants chopping down trees and making him money. If your wife’s lying, I’m going to cut off her finger. What? He was pretty nice about it, but I was just like, I feel like I have to interrogate people because she leaves me to do the… I have to be the face of the organization here a lot of times. Wasn’t she concerned, though? Because you guys are so private. I can’t imagine… It had to be outside. There’s no way this guy got inside your house. There’s no way this… I wasn’t here. I don’t know. I don’t think… I don’t know. Your wife was probably tied to a chair or something. I wouldn’t let anybody in the house. You stick to what we both talked about, all right? You say anything at all, I cut your fingers off. Whenever people are at the door, I always go outside. Yeah, I do too.I’m like, oh, let me step out here and see what you need, right? Oh, you’re on the Segway. There’s no going in. I go, let’s talk right in front of my ring doorbell. So just in case you want to violate me in any way possible, I haven’t. We’ve got a wide-angle lens on us. No, but I sound like such an idiot. So this guy thought you stiffed him or something. That’s funny. Well, no, I think he was just, I think somebody, because it was like, I think it was Friday. I don’t know. It was last week, late last week. I think they just put it in the wrong box or something because he didn’t see it. So it all got figured out. A bunch of bad people near St. Louis or something. Yeah.No, because they did all the work before I paid them. I paid them after they got done. Well, I know. He’s worried about it. He’s like, well, hey, we’re… I mean, I don’t know. I guess they could have not come back and fixed the fence. I paid them. Hey, Llama, Llama, how about something for the effort? Yeah. They did it fine. Work to your wife’s throat. Yeah. Although last night we had a big storm and we heard a big crack. I thought another tree got struck by lightning, but I don’t think so. I didn’t see any aftermath. That’s where Bob gets religious. God, please, no. No, God. No, we did. We had one of the trees that got cut down got struck by lightning, though it lived. I mean, we’ve had it now for, gosh.probably six, five or six years after it got struck by lightning. It was still up there. It’s finally kind of falling apart where I was worried that’s gonna collapse you know? Sure. So we had it down, but no, it was strong as an ox. It took him a while to take it down but uh yeah and but whenever it got struck, I mean, literally all the bark just shot off of it. But I looked around today and I didn’t see anything. So it must have been close by, but not, not close enough. They rattled the house real good, so I don’t know. Yeah. But, yeah, I don’t know. It’s just I wish you would have warned me a little bit. Like, you’re on speakerphone or, you know, hey, the tree guy’s here with me. Can you? Nope, no worries. Tell that inbred son of a bitch he gets paid when he gets paid, all right? Luckily, I’m not like that. He can kiss my butt.I didn’t say anything like that, but I mean, it could have easily, who knows what I could have started singing, you know, take that tree and shove it. I ain’t paying you no more. I would have said, I just say the weirdest things. So, you know, I was drunk the day of the tree guy. Okay. Yeah, but i haven’t, I, I still haven’t actually, the fence looks good from a distance. I have to go out and check it out, but I, it was kind of a long day and i didn’t feel like going out there duct taped duct tape, duct tape, duct tape my god damn fence that’s why i didn’t pay this son of a, Oh, he’s on the phone. Oh, he’s right here oh oh my god i mean he uhYeah, you ever listen to the Rolling Stones, my friend? Thank you. [su_qrcode data=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/08/18/gears-grinding/” title=”Gears Grinding” link=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/08/18/gears-grinding/” ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————-
