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Static RadioAuthor: Bob LeMent
The strange and humorous happenings in the lives of two US Midwesterners. Language: en-us Genres: Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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Weed Walker
Episode 5
Tuesday, 3 February, 2026
Miles finds out his elderly mother has trouble at the casino, while Bob thinks he hits a skunk. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/R4yQ1zHF52o Bad AI Transcript of the show this week Ready, Freddy, here I come. Ready, Freddy, here I come. I forget what it was for. Hey, everyone, this is Miles. You were, like, really sitting there, nice and quiet, waiting to say that, weren’t you? I was, yes. At least. Wait, wait, wait. I’ll take one, one. could you leave me? So if i can ever get the miles to move on this idea, we just created two albums worth of songs that we are going to uh sing poorly yeah oh really i was going to try to get the music too, just for fun. Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We’ll sing poorly for everyone. um Just for fun. I will. Okay. Yeah. If I can never get him to sit down and actually do it. We did the easy work of coming up with the song.Like, you got to memorize the lyrics? Yeah. Or should we do it just karaoke style and just bet them out? Yeah. Let’s just make it up. Make up words. I touched myself. Yeah. Oh, we didn’t even include that one. I know. All right. Go back and redo the list. Yeah. You got to put that on the list, man. Come on. We’ll have to have a debate about it, so. I think you say that every goddamn day, man. You’re like, hey, Miles, you know what I just did? What? I touched myself. I honestly do. I honestly do. I honestly do. It’s almost unavoidable, you know. I can’t help myself. All right, you know, yeah, okay. When I think about me. Yeah. Touch my own self. Yeah, my butt yeah I got I got Gary Coleman syndrome. Yeah, you’re the king of all, man. You’re the king of all myself oh my goodness. This weather is getting me down man this what this uh cold cold cold weatherYeah. You drive me a little nutty. I don’t know what’s going on there. Don’t like it. Okay. First, last week he said about work. Now the weather. I mean, what’s next with this guy? Oh, I’m grumpy. Maybe if I took a car dealership errand boy’s advice, I would have a happier life. A happy ending. Well, I don’t know about that, but So I happen to be in, well, I was in Decatur over last week at one point. Not to brag. No, not to brag, not to, you know, I’ve been to Prague, I’ve been to Zurich, and I’ve been to Decatur. Yeah. Yeah, I was in Decatur, and when my wife, we were driving, and we were driving along out in the country because I took a slight detour to some old, you know, old stomping grounds. And I’m like, man, it smells like a skunk. Did we hit a skunk? Like bad. Like it really smelled like we hit it or something. And she’s like, we didn’t hit anything. And I’m like, I mean, I was driving. Are we sure? I’m sure I didn’t clip a skunk.And, uh, and so we we’re going down this country road. I mean, it just got smelling worse and worse. And then i’m like, well, maybe that, because we were behind this guy who was in a truck for a well-known car dealer indicator. I’m like, maybe that guy, uh, well, the bob brady guy is actually the bob brady’s name of the place. Bob Brady guy hit a skunk because it really smells real skunky. Bob Brady. Come on down to Bob. And she’s like, yeah, I guess it’s probably a Bob Brady. Let’s see if he turns off because we were coming up near Bob Brady. Yeah. And we’ll see if it smells better. And so we get up. Well, then he doesn’t turn into Bob Brady and he’s still in front of us. I’m like, well, he’s not turning off. I’m like, I mean, he’s going like the same direction we are.And so then we finally get to the point where he gets ready to turn, like the stop sign and everything. This dude is firing up. Like the whole cab is filled with smoke. He’s just smoking pot like nobody’s business. In the Bob Brady parts truck or whatever. I don’t know where the hell he was going. He passed Bob Brady. He went past it. I mean, this guy was, I mean, it was like he was hotboxing himself. It was like a diamond bullet. And I’m like, wow. Wow, wow, wow. I’m like, this guy’s really getting away with it. He drove right by the place. The whole cab is filled with smoke. Yeah, Cheech and Chong movie or something. Yeah, exactly. Hey, man. I was, I was, I wondered if maybe he didn’t even notice. I was, uh, it was so weird. I’m like, and then he turns off and of course, boom, that was, he’s got like this incredible amount of skunk weed going on in the, uh, Bob Brady Dodge parts delivery. No one will notice. Yeah. No, no one’s going to notice. They’re going to notice and talk about this. They’re going to know.but i couldn’t believe it i was like oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I’m so hilarious. I’m like this guy, he’s really good. I mean, I wonder if he’s like bob Brady, the fourth or something yeah right you know maybe it’s like bob brady yeah it was but hey i gotta this car prices are getting me down, man. I gotta go for a ride. This price is too high. Yeah, prices are too high. They can’t get any higher. Watch this. It’s all legal. Yeah. So, yeah, Bob Brady was smoking. I mean, he had to have more than a joint. It had to be like a bong or something because this was a lot of smoke. I mean, it was incredible amount of smoke. Oh, my God. This is definitely a Cheech and Chong movie. I couldn’t believe it. Then, yeah.The air cleared up. It didn’t smell skunky. He’s listening to Lowrider. I got a kilo of super skunk weed here in Bob Brady. Some Illinois green. Yeah. Growing out in the farm in the wheat fields there by the highway. Lament’s own. There you go. Branded. Thank you. Yeah. No, I was just like, you know, more power to the guy. But I was just like, that was an odd one. I was not, you know, on the scorecard for the day. It was not. Yeah. Bob Brady parts guy getting super high driving down the road. Then he had the munchies. He had to go to Crackles. Okay. I went to Crackles. I did. I went to Crackles. He did not go to Crackle’s. I went to Crackle’s. Oh my gosh, it was so good. I met a friend there. I met a friend there for lunch. I put one of those air tags in your car. I hope it’s okay. There’s about a 25% chance when I go to the cater, you’ll know exactly where I’m going. Yeah, I was going to say. You go to three places every time. Yeah, I was like, yeah. But I did. I went to Crackle’s. Oh, it was delicious. Monocle’s.We didn’t go to Monocle’s. I would go there. Yeah, Monocle’s. Crackles. Yeah, yeah. And the rest of them, for Christ’s sake. Right now, you’re wherever I go for lunch. Yeah, you’re pretty. You’re like a book, man. Yeah, I am. Oh, it was so good. Crackles hamburger. It was fantastic. Crackles. Yeah, it was invited, so I don’t know. No, I met my friend, uh, for lunch and, uh, and we had a nice chat and i was like, man, I think i got contact. Hi. Hey man. Dave’s not here, man. It’s like, it’s the bob brady buzz mobile get a free yeah i was driving around. It’s like uh nice dreams or something yeah yeah did you order the oil change? Sergeant Stanko. I could not believe that this was actually happening. Hey, Yoder, man, do I smell like skunk weed? Yeah, man. Yeah, I thought about him the other day. Yeah. Yeah. You know, send me a note. Or not. Or not. No, he’s still out there. Yeah. I think he’s…For some reason, I was looking people up, and I think he’s still married to the woman that he married when I knew him and is still living a nice life somewhere. Okay. Yeah. Near Decatur. Operator, operator. Yeah. Every once in a while, I get these weird nostalgia kicks where I’ll look people up and whatnot. Now, there’s two less people now because, you know. Mm-hmm. two of the friends who passed away. Well, more than two, but too recently, I’ll put it that way. Right, right. Yeah. So, yeah, now I just need to find some others. I’m actually watching something about, this doesn’t have to do with anything, but it was like, you know, best places to eat in Illinois, and a lot of it was like central Illinois, but I don’t think they even throw out anything about Decatur at all.Really? It has some of the best places. Maybe Kreckles did once, but I don’t know. It was like best barbecue and best hamburger and best, you know. Kreckles, you know, they still have the rooster car. Some people call it the cock car, but anyway. Sure, you’ve ridden both. The giant rooster mobile. Yeah. Kreckles is so good. I don’t Yeah. Well, next time we are in that neighborhood, I will take you to Crackle’s. All right. And then you’ll be like, no, that’s great. Not that great. It’s not as good as White Castle or anything. McDonald’s is better. Yeah, I know. Smidge pulled that on me once. McDonald’s is better? Are you kidding me? No, I don’t know. I brought him somewhere once, and he’s all like, this is not even like Chicago, man. Miles, your food sucks. All right.Sorry, man. Sorry. But yeah, I did go to Krekkel’s and I got myself a Krekkel burger. Life was good. I actually want to go back to D-Town one of these days. I’ll take you down where the bears used to practice. Down in the city where you love it. Yeah, where people throw concrete on your car. Yeah, the most dangerous city maybe. Maybe. So, yeah. But, yeah, Bob Brady, obviously not drug testing, so Bob Brady probably better talk to the parts guy because he’s blazing up pretty big in the old parts car, the parts pickup. Yeah, probably someone’s nephew or something. Yeah. I mean, you know. Yeah. But it was funny. Oh, it’s the Bob Brady car. Oh, my gosh. It’s either a skunk or skunk weed, honey. I don’t know which. Skunk weed. It was not, you know, grade A primo kind of stuff. Let me put it that way. It was pretty skunky. You had to inform your wife. She’s like, what’s marijuana? Do you know Miles and how stupid he is? Yeah. He smoked a lot of marijuana when he was a baby. Not when I was a baby, no.Not when I was a baby, but… Yeah, no. What’s going on in your neck of the woods? Everybody’s getting high in the D-town. Everybody’s doing it. Well, you know, I got a… Everybody must get stoned. Sometimes you talk to your family on the phone and you’re like, I think they’re just a little fucked in the head or something’s weird. Or I thought maybe they’re stoned. Maybe they went to Bob Brady’s for a reason. Yeah, Bob Brady. No, it’s like… Last night I get this phone call and it’s my sister who loves the rock, you know, that’s just the way she sounds. She talks just like that. She and my mom have gone down south to snowbird. The devil went down to Georgia. I was looking for, they’re living with Thomas Tate down in Atlanta right now. Yeah.They’re down there again, because there was a story, I think, last year when they did this, and there were some shenanigans. Yeah, they’re down with Doc right now, Louisiana. Really, down in Lafayette? Lafayette, no, I don’t know. I don’t want to say where, because then you’ll try to visit them, and I don’t want that. Boy, I’m not going down there, you know what? No, they’re down south. They’re on the coast. Ah, they’re on the coast. You know, I just, you know, my sister calls. I’m like, oh, this could be good or bad. Yeah. With my mom, my mom, you know, it was like the old 90s. I forgot some message for you. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I don’t know why you want someone to call me. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And so they’re on the phone, and they’re very chatty and laughing, and I’m like, oh, okay. They’re in the giggle weed or something. Yeah, I got some gummies.Oh, we’re just driving around. We’re looking for a place to park. Behind the Bob Brady pickup. Oh, contact high. And so they’re like, yeah, we tried to call you the other day. I’m like, no, you didn’t. Yeah, I think we did. Like, no, you didn’t. No, you didn’t. don’t have any notes. I don’t have any notes. No one told me. I know my phone didn’t ring i charged uh 24 7 so i always have it well all right, all right. Let’s not stretch it. that’s not true okay so they’re like anyway so uh what’s going on? Well, mom was in the er again i’m like oh what the what happened I’m like, what? Yeah, that was my, like, what? And they’re all laughing about this. I’m like, what the fuck? And you go, what happened? What happened? No, I did it Three Stooges style. What happened? Nothing yet. It’s like, oh, our mom passed out at the casino again. I’m like, what? What? And now she’s taking, like, some kind of fantastic diarrhea medicine or something. I don’t know. Great.She’s down at the casino and pulling the one-armed bandit and just keels over. No, no. There’s a little more detail to it. She’s like, I don’t… I’m on a hot streak, Miles. I was winning. No, I wasn’t even that. I was up 35 cents. My fortune. I’m going to win back Miles’ inheritance. So anyway, I guess she’s like, I don’t feel good. I think I’m going to pass out. Really? Right. So my sister’s like, well, we better get going. And my mom’s like, oh, no, no. I’ve taken a lot of diarrhea medicine. I have to go to the bathroom first. Oh. Right. So she’s on a walker. Wouldn’t it be anti-diarrhea medicine? I’m not. Well, yeah. Do people really take diarrhea medicine? Oh, wait. No, wait. No, wait. Couldn’t.Wait, she couldn’t poop, or she was taking the accident? I don’t know. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Anyway, so, yeah, it’s all right, doctor, yes. So, anyway, she goes to the bathroom, she’s got a walker, she goes in the stall with her walker, drops the trowel, and nothing’s happening, I guess, but she’s, like, leaned over, like, leaning on the walker, apparently. Yeah, she’s really trying hard. Yeah, so, you know, she’s going to end up like Elvis, you know, Crazy. And, uh, I’m caught in the trap. I’m caught in the crap i can’t walk yeah at least she yeah she couldn’t she’s like i’ve been bending over so much. I cannot stand up she’s like i’m too weak. I can’t get out. Oh no. My God. So my department in here. Yeah. yeahSo, okay. So they call for help. Oh no. Your mother pants down. Yes. Yeah. So the dude’s like, listen, you’re going to have to unlock this door, stand up. Cause you got that Walker in there with it. We can’t get to you. Cause that Walker’s in the way. And she’s like, I can’t like, ma’am, you’re going to have to do it. She goes, listen, why don’t I just, when I get out, just let me lay on the bathroom floor for a while. Who wants to do that? With all the piss and pubes and everything else that’s on the casino floor. She was in the women’s bathroom, so it was slightly nicer. I don’t know about that. I don’t know if we’re any cleaner than men. Apparently, she did get the door unlocked, but then she just totally blacked out. After she unlocked the door? Yeah. Yeah.Yeah, so they actually had to just fish her out of there, I guess. So she woke up like a McGurney, you know. Oh, my God. Did she pull her pants up? I don’t know who did it. I don’t know. I didn’t want to get into that part of the story. I’m like, I don’t. Did she black out before she pulled her pants up? I don’t know. I didn’t want to ask that. This is an important part of the story. I mean, because your mom could have flashed all the first responders. Yeah. Earl’s gone wild. She’s doing some beaver shots on all of them. Oh, my God. That’s sick. Oh, my God. It’s terrible. Oh, my God. It’s horrible. How do you live with yourself? Granny Bieber shot. How do you live with yourself? Oh, my God. Horrible. Oh, my God. 90-year-old grandma passes out at casino and shows everyone her pussy. Oh, Jesus Christ.You know, my family listens to the show sometimes, you know, just so you know. It’s all made up. Oh, yeah, I know. That’s what I tell my family. Oh, it’s all scripted. It’s 100% scripted, yeah. How do you know she didn’t just dance out of there? I don’t know. I go, you could have died like Elvis because he died on the shitter, you know. Oh, my gosh, your poor mother. Well, no wonder they were laughing about it because otherwise they’d just cry of embarrassment. Sure. No, I’m like, when did this happen? They’re like, oh, Wednesday. Yeah, just regular week. Today’s Sunday. I’m just now finding out about this now on Sunday. It happened Wednesday. Don’t you follow her on social media? Yeah. Granny Beaver, at Granny Beaver. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It might be her new gig. Her old fans. Only fans. My mom’s not only fans. That’s right.Oh, my God. That’s terrible. That’s terrible. My God, you’re evil. You are evil. Her mascara looks fantastic. Yeah, her eyeliner, yeah. It has been tattooed on. Yeah, it was tattooed on. Her eyeliner looked perfect. Because it’s a tattoo. Is she okay? I guess she’s okay. She got that and a handful of beads. Which was funny, yeah. I don’t know. Did she take her shirt off while she was going down there? I don’t know what happened. Who knows? Who the hell knows? Miles, did you know it’s Mardi Gras down here right now? Yeah, I know. Grammy’s going wild. Yeah, so mom, please be careful. Oh my goodness. Oh my gosh. Terrible. What a terrible thing. I’m like, oh. She’s okay though right so i don’t know. They were all laughing. I don’t know if they’re all drunk or what driving around. I have no idea they’re like what was your sister doing? Just standing outside the door? I don’t know she’s retired nurse. I don’t know what the hell she’s doing. I don’t know. I would have macgyvered that door open for her yeah like mom open the shitter door mom those things backwards just bend it backwards. Ah, she had a bad back.All these people are so delicate. You’re going to have to stand up and do this. Pull the door off. Who cares? I don’t know. It wasn’t the rock that showed up. What kind of help are these people? I don’t know. The door is locked. I don’t know. I guess you’re going to die. I’m going to die. I mean, what kind of help are these people? I don’t know where their training comes from. They have a little device to unlock all those doors. They have one. They have it. I guess. I don’t know. I don’t know anything about bathrooms, dude. I don’t cruise bathrooms like you, okay? I don’t know, Senator. They have to because, you know, people lock the doors and then unlock the door. They have a little tool and they go and it unlocks.In case someone dies on the shutter, I guess. I think you got some low IQ help there. Your sister did. Did she run out and get the guy hanging outside the bathroom rubbing his crotch up against people or something? Yeah, some guy running around. Jenny! Come in here, Forrest. I can’t open doors. I’m not much of a man. Yeah, it sounds like, you know, they’re really, they didn’t, I think they didn’t believe her. I, maybe, yeah. Yeah, you’re, I think you’re. Why would you make that up, though? Why would you make up the, oh, I’m about to pass out in the shitter. Please, somebody. Maybe she had a big loss. Maybe this happens constantly at the casino. They’re trying to get a lawsuit going. Yeah, I don’t know. I’m out $68,000. That’s right. I think I’m going to have to turn over the title to the Cordova. Yeah, we’re going to have to give away those golden cougar hands. Cougar hands. Go dig through the car, Jiminy. Mm-hmm.Your poor mom. I mean, gosh, she should stop going to the casino, honestly. Yeah, I know. Various reasons, yeah. There’s so many places between here and there that she could just sit in a nice bar and do the same thing, you know? Yeah, my mom just wants to go and sit in a bar, yeah. Well, you go. You go sit. I mean, you have relatives that own these things. No, her sister used to do that all the time, but my mom doesn’t do that. Yeah, no. I mean, you go and throw your money into the puggy or whatever and pull the fucking machine. Sometimes, yeah. Yeah. So she can just hang out with you. You can help her out. Yeah. I don’t know. You’re like, Mom, don’t worry about going to the bathroom. Just do it in your pants. Yeah, like I do.When I’m gambling, I wear some Depends. I got my NASA diapers. Yeah. Get up or nothing. Let it go. Let it flow. Well, I’m glad she’s still okay. Yeah. And I’m glad she didn’t lay on the bathroom floor, especially. Yeah. Yeah. Well, too bad that her cooch is all over the internet now. [su_qrcode data=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/02/03/weed-walker/” title=”Weed Walker” link=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/02/03/weed-walker/”
