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Ethical Gift
Episode 71
Tuesday, 21 July, 2026

Bob gets chastised for trying to buy Miles a hat, while Miles starts his weekend singing at 7 am. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/8iQ-ezco4u8 Bob gets chastised for trying to buy Miles a hat, while Miles starts his weekend singing at 7 am. Ethical Gift Bad AI Transcript Just you inferring something. I don’t think that that’s anything real. I think it’s got everything to do with you. It does. I’m sorry. Uh, Miles with uh a thing called static Radio. Hey Miles, how are you? I am reclined. That’s probably what the problem is with all your phlegm, is you’re laying down practically. If you’d sit up, it would all, you know you all your drainage would be proper. Well, you seem to know a lot about drainage. know what that’s supposed to mean, but You were bragging about it earlier. I was bragging about drainage? Yeah, you’re like, I don’t drain all right it’s my esophageal cancer. Yeah, it sounds like it. I think put that shut out you know like it’s like you’re uhfour pack a day smoker or something over there. I feel like i just smoked a blunt man like man it’s all cashed out goodness gracious i love it i love how in tune miles is with everything. He asked me a question tonight. How long you been doing this thing? It’s like, I don’t know, three years? I just was interested. I wanted to ask a question, and you answered it. You’re like, honey, when did we switch from butter to margarine? I don’t know, 20 years ago? Why did we have to decaf? I didn’t realize. Things like that have happened in my life. How come I’m wearing diapers and not underwear anymore? And this isn’t our home. You get back in your room now. I’m not your wife, idiot. This is not my beautiful wife. So yeah, you may ask yourself.And so then we got on this whole thing where I show him all these social media posts that I’ve been doing that he is not aware of. I am on social media somewhat, but I kind of… I think I post them on TikTok somewhere too. I don’t know. You’re not on TikTok. I am on TikTok. You barely post bullshit. Okay. Bye. Lies, lies and more lies. And then i’m making little uh like 8-bit games on the website and and i mean you know it’s a whole thing. I’m having fun. I, okay. I didn’t know. So, enjoy people, enjoy. Games. Yeah, little fun, little, you know, silly games. Yep. That usually involve… Tic-tac-toe. I could do a tic-tac-toe if you want. If you want. Usually involve our characters in some way, shape, or form. Me melting. You what? Me melting in every cartoon. Oh, you melting. Yeah, the cartoons have you melting. I think that’s funny. I don’t know. I think people find…You as a snowman melting funny. You know, that would not have been my first pick as a character. Well, unfortunately, you didn’t know how to do anything, and so I picked it. No, that’s okay. I think it’s a very apropos character for you. I guess. I don’t know if it would be my first choice for myself. You have a very large round head. Right. You have a very prominent nose. Correct. And you wear a Bears memorabilia and jerseys and that stuff all the time. That’s what the snowman has. And I have a jelly belly. Yeah. I mean, I did make you, if you recall, you were on a Bears playing card as your character. Yeah. You like that one. Well, if it’s tastefully done, I don’t want to be embarrassed. Yeah.I try to, you know, each time I try to go back and forth to where, you know, I’ll get your goat, then you’ll get my goat, you know what I mean? I don’t be eating tacos in the car, for instance. I thought that was funny. Inappropriate. You read a little bit too much into everything, I think. I am reading a lot into these cartoons. Yeah. I feel very uncomfortable watching these with you for half an hour. This is weird, dude. This is weird. I try to make them interesting. I mean, to some degree, I’m glad you’re a quote-unquote friend of mine, I suppose. Oh, God. Sometimes I feel very uncomfortable with it, too. You know what I’m saying? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I don’t know.You figure it out. Yeah, eating in the car. It’s like a thing. There’s all these videos of people eating in a car. I thought it wouldn’t be funny if our characters were eating in a car. This guy sends me chocolates on Valentine’s Day and stuff. I’m getting weird with it, man. I’m like, I don’t know. This is like crossing the line. The only thing I send you is postcards, which, by the way, you’ve got your postcards from my latest trip. I did. Yeah. And I sent you a postcard from the place that you suggested. Yes. I said, thank you. Now the, the funny thing behind that is I actually was going to get you a gift. Yeah. So we went, we were in Charleston, South Carolina recently. This is called a segue by the way, everyone. And, uh,And you had recommended, you said you should go see the Hunley. Well, that’s totally up everybody’s alley who was on the trip, right? We love these historical things. And for those of you who don’t know what the Hunley is, the Hunley was the first submarine. Correct. Successful battle. And it blew up a ship. It did. Yeah. I can’t remember the name of the ship now. The Constitution. No, was it the Constitution? The Chattahootook. Yeah. So anyway, it was a Chappaquiddick. I think they blew it up. A lot of people drowned. No one’s fault. But the, the guys who, the funny thing is, and that’s not funny in any way, shape or form, actually two people, two sets of people died in the submarine. That’s correct. One, when they were testing it, they killed everybody. And then they actually had a successful mission.And blew up a Union ship. So they were the Confederates made the submarine. So it was a Confederate submarine. And they blew up a Union ship. And then they were successful. Everybody knew they were successful. And then somehow they died on the way back. Yeah. So kind of a mixed, yeah. Yeah, a little bit. It was good and bad. And then… Apparently, at that point, everybody’s like, you know what? We can’t get any more volunteers to go on these goddamn submarines, so we’re going to scrap this idea. Anyway, they found it, and it’s preserved at a naval base in Charleston, South Carolina. You can go see it, and you get to see all this interesting history about it and so forth. We went, and I got your postcard. I mentioned that. I’m in the gift shop, andwe always get a magnet, so we have a magnet, and i got a postcard, and i told my wife i’m like i’m gonna get miles something. You know, he was really hyped on this thing i want to i want to get him something, and i go, I thought about getting you a t-shirt. Yeah. And I’m like, no, I don’t, you know i i I don’t know what size he is. I’m not going to try to figure this shit out. Because if I get it too big, he’s going to be crying. And if I get it too small, he’s going to be crying. Bob went to South Carolina and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. Yeah. So I found there was this hat and it said the Hunley dive team. Right. And I go, I thought I might get him that Hunley dive team hat. And she goes, no.No, you’re not getting him a stupid hat. You’re getting him a postcard and that is it. That is it. I’ve had it. Yeah. So she would not get you. She’s like, he’ll never wear it. You’ll pay all this money to get it to him and it’ll sit or he’ll lose it. And I’m not paying for it. He knows me too well. That’s the funny part. Then I go, okay, well, I’ll get him a couple of, I got you extra postcards. You did? Yeah. And so, yeah. Now, the story that you don’t want to hear that I want to tell because it says a lot. So, we’re at the Hunley. I’m getting postcards and we got, you know, magnet and something else. Oh, we got a book about the whole schmear.A book that you’ll never read. It’s just going to sit there. No, there’s a lot of reading going on around here. So anyway, and so then I get the postcard and the lady’s ringing it up and I’m paying for it. And then she goes, oh, do you need a stamp? Nope, I got one. She’s like, what? She’s like digging around the register looking for stamps. She’s like, what? I go, yeah, yeah, I got a stamp. She goes, okay. That’s unusual. Yeah, exactly. And then she go, and then so she didn’t put them in the, in the bag, you know, putting everything in the bag. She goes, you need a pen? No, no, I got a pen. Oh, she goes, what? Are you always this prepared? I go, yes, I am.See, I’m a friend with this mental case out in the Midwest, and we’re both mentally ill, and I send him postcards, and he enjoys them. That’s right. He’s mentally disabled. Yeah, he usually has coloring books I give him, but I send him postcards, too. They did have a coloring book. I thought about getting you one of those. You’re not doing it, because he’s going to lose it, or he’s going to… I would agree with your wife. I’m sorry to interrupt, but I agree with your wife. She made the right call on that. Well, because you were so excited about us being able to go. I’m so happy you saw it. And it was really, you know, the funny thing is, and I don’t know if people know this, but anyway, there’s an author, his name is Clive Cussler. He writes books, if you look him up. He found the Hunley. He’s the one that found it and brought itto the surface, and then it’s actually not on the surface because it’s in such bad shape. It was a wooden, I don’t know, it was a metal, but it’s all rusted out and stuff. It had been on the floor of the ocean for quite some time. Anyway, so it’s in a tank, so it doesn’t degrade anymore in water. But you can look at it. You look down at it. Anyway, he had a lot of books. Raise the Titanic was one of his books. Sahara. He had a bunch of books. Anyway, and my wife and my father-in-law both loved his books and read all his books. So she was actually going just because it had that connection as well. Right. Well, I’m glad you went. Yeah, no, it was good. It’s not a huge museum. But we actually even went to…the cemetery where all of the, because whenever they brought up the sub, the remains, all the remains from the victims of the two failed voyages of the Hunley are. 16 people, I think. Yeah. So, but anyway, it was an interesting, plus that the cemetery where these people are buried is just fantastic to look at. So, right. Right. I love old cemeteries and weird stuff like that. Yeah. Anyway, um, but no, she would not let me buy you the hunley dive team hat. Yeah. But I really want to get him, get him a postcard. What about a scale model? Do they have that? Maybe that you could have got No, I mean, maybe they had something. I don’t know. Those little things, like a thing in a boat, and you put some baking powder in it and put it in water, it kind of goes up and down. Yeah, no, they don’t have anything like that, no. I would have taken that. Yeah, no. Well, I didn’t think about it. They had some kids’ toys, but none of them were like Hunley toys. Look, Mommy, we’re on the drone. So anyway, I just thought it was funny that she put the kibosh on your…on your present so you got postcards if the tables were turned, yeah, I would not have wasted money. I’d be like, no. Yeah, you wouldn’t even, you wouldn’t, no one’s, we’re not talking about this. Everybody, no, don’t tell bob about we went someplace cool yeah right like It’ll come out naturally, and then I’ll make up a story. Yeah, it’s probably all full of the stars and bars anyway that I get beat up for wearing it, and I’m like, oh, okay. No, no, it wasn’t. No, it was all good. Oh, okay. Yeah. I’m like, yeah, I’m not wearing it. I’m not going to do it. No, no, it just said Hunley Dive Team. It’s like Diver Down, you know, the flag. Yeah. Right, right. Yeah.It wasn’t any Confederacy kind of stuff. Okay. Well, I’m just saying that doesn’t play very well. No, it doesn’t. But it is an interesting display. I mean, I’m not pro-Confederacy or anything. From a certain point of view, I’m just saying. You can’t deny that they made the first combat submarine and blew up a boat. Yeah, I mean, submarine warfare was pretty cool in general. It started right then in the Civil War, exactly. The Nazis made the V-2 rocket, and the technology from that took us to the moon, so go figure. Von Braun. Yeah, Wernher von Braun had a NASA. He was a Nazi. Everybody keeps forgetting this, but anyway. Yeah, they kind of omit that in that one movie where the little kid wants to be like him. Right.Yeah. I’m not going to fall into that, but there’s a bunch of people through history who were the enemy who then created great things for the United States. Yes. Anyhow, what’s going on with you? You enjoy those postcards, mister? I did. I was actually looking through them last night. I got my shoebox out and I’m like, wow, I got a lot. Play a little sappy music. I wanted to arrange them. I decided not to arrange them. I’ll put all the historic ones here. You have a weird thing where you like to coordinate things. I know. I’ve tried to get over that. It’s my semi-autistic brain. I put everything in a line. Yeah. I don’t know. It’s crazy. Were you crying? Were you like, I ain’t going to go. No, I probably will never see it, but I’m glad you went. It’s not that far of a drive. You guys could go. I’m never going to see that. Charleston’s a nice town. I love going to Charleston. I’d go back to Charleston. I can barely afford to go to Illinois. You know what I’m saying? I can’t even. It’s right across the river.I know. I can’t even afford that. I’m like, ah, I got to turn back. Not even a toll bridge or anything for Christ’s sake. I got it for the gas money. You had to go to the next county. I’m like, nah, I’m not going to do that. That’s like $4. Can’t do it. Yeah. Well, that’s too bad. So, I have been having these moral dilemmas. What? Moral dilemma? Yeah, you know, I Last week, there was a lady pouring out her soul at the community store. I thought you were going to come out like as a BTK killer or something, Christ. I killed some people, and I really felt bad about it. I felt bad, and I kept them in my basement for a while. I made them use my bathroom down there. Just like Bob.I don’t know why. I just wake up early on weekends. I don’t have trouble sleeping in. I got up on Saturday early, and it was probably around 7 or so, just a little bit after 7. I was outside. I don’t know why I was outside, but I was outside. Why did you go outside? Did you dress, or did you just go out in your underwear? No. Well, yes and no. I guess I was wearing my sweatpants and my wife beater. Oh, God. That’s what you wear normally. That’s like every day. I go outside like that, so what? Okay. And it was a crisp day, and I was like, oh, okay, nice. I hadn’t gotten hot yet. I’m like, okay, I’m looking around, just taking it all in. And in the distance, I’m hearing Whitney Houston. Really? Which song? No. No.I think it was, I’m saving all my love for you. I think it was. I don’t know how that one goes. I’m saving all my love for you. I like the other one better. Go ahead. Know how the woman is going to love you. And so, like, I hear in the distance, I go, huh, who the fuck? Who’s blaring Whitney Houston? Because I love Whitney Houston. I do love Whitney Houston. Sure. Nobody loves her. I mean, who doesn’t, right? Who doesn’t? Especially CB. Right. Yeah, true enough. And it’s getting closer. And I’m like, where in the hell? You know? And I realize it’s like some dude on an e-bike blaring this thing. He’s got some kind of music box or something with him.Mama’s got a squeeze box she wears on her chest. Yeah, he’s just cruising around like 7.15 in the morning on a Saturday, you know. Saturday! I gotta get me an e-bike. That sounds like fun. Just go around being an asshole like 7 o’clock in the morning. I’d be doing like Sabbath or something. I’d be doing Whitney Houston, you know. Sabbath in the mass. Sabbath in the mass. The beautiful people. The beautiful people. My first impulse was like, turn that fucking shit down. That was my first impulse. But I go, God, I love me some Whitney Houston. I’m like, God, I can’t. I couldn’t bring myself to say that. Yes, that was my moral dilemma. I’m like, man, I love me some Whitney Houston. I just can’t. Well, then you know why he played it. He played it because he loves it as well.You can’t disagree with that. I’m like, ah, why couldn’t it have been, like, new kids on the block or something? I could be angry. Something, you know. No. The right stuff. Yeah, that’s his jam. He’s driving around jamming it. Like, with the balls. You need to get one of those e-bikes. I think so. I think there’s weight restrictions, so… I mean, a lot of people have, like, little scooters and these way e-bikes. I mean, it’s just, like, all over the place now. I think you can handle an e-bike. And people are always bitching them on, like, online. Like, you know, that kid who cut me off. I want you to know that. Like, oh, my God. Enough with the fucking. They’re not reading your posts. I know. They got, like, this stupid gossip page. And it just, it’s all very, you know.to the guy in the red car that cut me off this morning. I just want you to know that I hope you get gone or we don’t die. And I’m like, oh, Jesus Christ. Just make funny little cartoons and don’t read everybody’s stuff. Oh, my God. It’s just like, please, you know, call the cops or something if you don’t like it. He was playing Whitney Houston. There was a fat guy in his pants and a wife being around on his lawn singing Whitney Houston. I want to do that and play like Careless Whisper or something. Go flying around. Yeah. Wham’s greatest hits that you have. Uh-huh. I want to play right round. I just go around, you know, six o’clock in the morning. Right round like a record, baby. Right round. Money dead or alive. I play dead or alive.I don’t know. I guess so. Then someone’s going to yell at me. Turn that shit down. Turn that shit up. It’s six o’clock in the morning, wife beater. I just saw a guy in a sweatpants and a wife beater who thought it was gender bending. I thought it was divine. I don’t know who it was. Drive it around. It was divine after he hit Shoney’s for two days. oh man, the balls, the balls, the doing this like seven o’clock in the morning. No, I think, I think, yeah. So I don’t know why, probably because i mentioned it, but, uh, I get all these e-bike things and they’re like all these, uh, people from china trying to e-bikes direct oh yeah yeah i’m like oh man i’m thinking I, maybe i want to e-bike.Well, it’s not like guys like you, like, you know, millionaires like you. It’s always like these people that, you know, I would guess that they might be on the lower end of whatever, you know. Maybe, yeah, I don’t know. Maybe, I don’t know. Who knows? You know. I just think it’d be fun. They don’t live in some gated community like Bob LeMond, you know. There’s a kid that has one around here and he rides it up and down the… thing, yeah. So they play Village People and stuff. No music whatsoever. Yeah. No music, uh-uh. I think I’d play Kanye or something. There’s one with an e-bike, there’s one with a mini-bike, and then there’s all these people with strollers and things. Those little scooters you stand up and do? No, I haven’t seen any of those. I’d be so afraid I’d wipe out on that. I’d be doing like 20 miles per hour and wipe out and be like…I see a new cartoon coming up. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. It’s a freaking jerk. Hey, Miles, check out my new scooter. The greatest love of all. And then you melt. My road rash. I’m bleeding. Yeah, you’re bleeding. It looks like a red snow cone. Maybe I’m jealous. I don’t know. I don’t know, but I think that should be your goal. I think you get yourself an e-bike and one of those JBL speakers. Well, I don’t know. Can your phone have Bluetooth? I can’t remember. I want to mention this wasn’t like a kid either. This was not a… This was like a grown-ass adult. know it’s like, this was not just some, like, oh, some teeny boppers, some 20 year old. No, this is, this gentleman certainly probably 40s or so maybe, you know? Yeah. Well, I mean, Hey, you gotta have a hobby. I guess being around, being an annoying yeah that is it yeah that’s been your hobby for quite some time. I know. Well, I’ve gotten by with it. Yeah. Why not? People hate me i mean oh wow oh my goodness. Well, maybe someday.Someday. You’re not buying him no e-bike. God damn e-bike. That’s it. I thought the hat was stupid. What have we done for you? What’s with the speaker? Oh, no, you’re not. Tell your wife to lighten up a little. You tell her. Okay, I’m going to send her a postcard then. No, please. No post. Oh, she’s getting one now. Yeah, the last postcard I got from you was very inappropriate. Oh, I got another one. Believe me, if I can find it, I’m sending it with her name on it. I will send it. As God is my witness, I’m going to do it. No, do not do that. I will do it. Big letters. Big letters. No. We know the postman. Don’t be doing stuff like that. Well, you’re really going to know him here in a minute. We are familiar with the postman and his family.Okay. [su_qrcode data=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/07/21/ethical-gift/” title=”Ethical Gift” link=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/07/21/ethical-gift/” ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————-