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Static RadioAuthor: Bob LeMent
The strange and humorous happenings in the lives of two US Midwesterners. Language: en-us Genres: Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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Cold Compliment
Episode 45
Tuesday, 18 November, 2025
Miles gets complimented on his style, while Bob takes the polar plunge. _ultp_btn_ic_right_circle_line_ultp_btn_ic_end_Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/wRPUyBoKxLk Bad AI Transcript of the show this week And we're off to the races. Miles gets caught with his pants down. Oh, wow. There we go. got Rush Limbaugh here with me. How are you doing, Rush? How are you doing, Rush Limbaugh? He's all hopped up on pain medicine. You going to make it? But I have to say… Are you going to say hi to everybody or no? Hi, everybody. Miles. Did you know that miles is on drugs and he missed the bears game? Apparently he's Bing Crosby's love child here tonight. Okay. That's fantastic. You're going to say more than two words and make a bunch of noise or what? I feel like I'm on Ghost Adventures or something. Somebody touch me. Hey, Miles. Welcome to Static Radio. Did you hear that? Did you hear that's the Ghost of Miles title? Oh, my gosh. Somebody touch me. Ay, ay, ay, ay.Possibly the biggest ghost show ever. I bought a glass of orange juice there, Bob. Fresh and sweet. My wife did what? Somebody touch me. You okay? I'm ready. I'm ready now. I wasn't sure. I'm just listening up. Are you in the bathroom? Not now. Okay, good. It's in bed naked. Oh, okay. No, I'm not naked. I'm sure your wife would have a problem with you being naked in the sheets. Yeah, it's not good. She'd be like, we don't need another Pollock. Yikes, yeah. Various bodily fluids leaking out on the bed sheets. Yeah, right. Your precious bodily fluids. I'll be like Johnny Depp's girlfriend there. She should have the bed. But yours would be unintentional. Yeah, like, oopsies. Oopsies. I swear to God, I thought it was a fart. I swear. I was just doing my Bing Crosby impersonation, and I swung the golf club too hard. If you know what I mean.Yeah. My nickname's Putter. Putter. Oh, my God. What's going on in Bob's world today? Too cold. Too cold? What? Yeah. Well, it's getting cold, you know. It's like 50 degrees out. Well, today it was, but we had a dip there where it was like in the 30s for a while. Oh, for a day. Well, it was a day that will live In infamy. Oh, fuck. Here we go. So, I think I've mentioned this, although maybe I haven't mentioned it enough. Maybe it'll become one of these things that I say and then you'll be all offended. Okay, go ahead. You know, like I say, you know, since my house burned down and then you get all upset. No, I don't. So I have been swimming here lately. Right. What's that? You love swimming. I do. For some reason, I do. I don't know why. I didn't grow up swimming. Are you buoyant because all your fat? It could be. Yeah. Shames to me. You lived your life like a turd in the sewer.guys partly no so actually my wife wanted to go swimming and she's like, would you go swimming and I yeah sure why not you know yeah whatever I mean you know and so I've been going regularly. Right. And so the other day it's like 35 degrees here. Right. now we don't go to an outdoor pool or anything. It's an indoor pool, but as you, may be aware the pool is in the ground right there's correct and then they build a structure over it, cover it, right? Like a, it's like a, you know, building. It's not like they do, you know, dig it out so that it's not in the ground. And, uh, so unbeknownst to me, I'm not sure if my wife knew or not. Unbeknownst to me, we get there. There's like nobody there.Oh. And I'm like, well, this is fantastic. I mean, there's nobody here. We can go swim in peace and quiet, you know. It was Veterans Day. No, no, this was not Veterans Day. This was actually the day before Veterans Day, as a matter of fact. And so I'm like, yeah, this is great. And then the lifeguard was in the office and they're like, oh, I'm glad you're here. I really don't want to sit in the office. yeah okay we're gonna look at porn, but uh since you're here i guess since you're here i guess i'll monitor you. That's always the weird part. Whenever you're the only one and the lifeguard just kind of stares at you yeah awkward but usually she walks around, which is not so bad but oh okay all right let's get where this is going. All right. Yeah. So, uh,And so, you know, we're getting ready to get in. And then my wife was chatting up the lifeguard. And she's like, how cold is the pool today? And she's like, oh, it's not that bad. It's only about five degrees colder than usual. And I didn't think anything of it until I got in. Yeah. And, uh, I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. I was looking at your camel toe. I'm sorry. Could you say that again please no i i was i was like oh yeah whatever you know and so yeah i get into the pool. Well, lo and behold, it's like fucking freezing yeah because their boiler was out. They normally heat the pool. Oh no. Oh my God. I'm like shivering in the water and yeah i started swimming.And I didn't even realize, and I don't know if my wife like withheld this information or whatever. I didn't know that there was no, like it was basically, you know, like a puddle outside in the weather. We did our swim, but I was like, this is the coldest I've ever been. And I didn't find out until like later that the boiler was out. I want my money back. Maybe I wouldn't have agreed to get in there. I don't know. I was like, holy moly, this is brutal. That girl had gumdrops. I felt like I was becoming a member of the polar bear club. Yeah. Were you okay? Yeah, I was fine. Did you have shrinkage? Well, I'm sure. I did not take a ruler out or anything. Yeah, right.Well, I'm just saying I know how you like to show off at the changing room. I think it was your last story. That's right. You and the boys were kind of like taking bets. Yeah. No, but it was incredibly. I never. I swam normally, you know, with these kind of things. You get in. It's kind of cold because it's cold outside or whatever. And then you warm up as you move around. Well, I did not really warm up at all. And then I got out and it was even colder. And man, this was a rough day. Rough, rough day. I got to take off my floaties. Well, you know, I'm not a young man. And I'm like, I get in and I'm like, I'm going to have a heart attack. Oh, come on. This is what happens. People, they get in the extreme temperatures, right? So they go…outside to shovel snow in the cold and then they get too hot and then they just drop dead. Okay. we got quentin on the phone yeah i was really, I was like, when i first got in, I'm like, uh-oh maybe this lady will, will not be happy that we showed up and you know she got out of the office. Yeah. Yeah. She'll be like, got a hall shamu up onto the deck here. Oh man. I shaved for this. Oh yeah. anyway so everyone just got scared, like, oh, if it's too cold, we're not doing it apparently i don't ever read anything. Apparently, they put it out on their facebook or something that the boiler was out. Oh, so all these like 80 year old people picked up on it but yeah like yeah but not me.Yeah, when people like 50-something can't figure it out. That's right. I don't ever read it. I don't look at any of that. Come on. Oh, come on. You check out everything. No, I don't. Honestly, I don't even care. I have a time. No, come on. I go at the regular time. No. You're probably like, what's the weather in Iceland today? Let me look. Well, I could look, but sometimes I don't. get curious. Yeah. I'm not curious about that. Yeah. I'm going to be now. I'm cool. Curious. I went this morning. Oh my gosh. It was the most delightful. I just jumped right in. It was it was fantastic how early do you go? Well, I don't want to tell you because people show up or something, but you know i go yeah me yeah yeah okay i go early in the morning yeah i'm gonna show up to watch you swim.I don't know. You may just show up to hang out in the locker room for all. Well, what does the lifeguard look like? I mean, well, no, I'm just saying you'll hang out with all the guys. Donald ducking it, you know? Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Hey guys. Hey, Irv. How's it hanging? Oh, wait, I can tell. Looks like a pencil eraser. Oh my cow. Oh my goodness. Um, no, no, I do. We go early in the morning. Yeah. Five? I'm not telling you what time I go. Come on. 5.30. It's early. Before you would go, I can tell you that. You used to get up at 10 and race into work and barely make it. This is the latest I can be before I get in trouble. I have work jobs that way. That is true. Come on.I get up early, I do my swim, then I get ready and go to work. But I pretty much work from home nowadays, so it's not a big deal. So I basically go swimming on company time is what he does. Is what he's not telling us. No, I don't go big swimming on company time. Oh, I swear to God, I'm working, boss. I swear to God. I swim in the early in the morning or I'll swim at lunch. Yeah. One of the two. One of the two. Yeah. Okay. All right. but yeah, that was the cold day. It was cold it was yeah this guy's there at 10 o'clock now some guy did show up, uh, as we were finishing and i don't think that he paid attention to the announcement either. Oh, you weren't a nice guy like hey mister no yeah no i'm like hey he's here. Same as me.Nobody said, hey, you might not want to get in. It's really, really cold. Right, right. No, they didn't say that. In fact, she said it was only five degrees colder than normal. I'm like, well, what's normal? I don't know what it is. She knows. I have no idea. Maybe she does know. It's not like a bath. It's not like 90 degrees. It's probably like 70 degrees or something. I don't know. Blair, tell me what's normal. You tell me. so anyway, yeah, it was, it was, uh, well, I'm sorry. So you had to go to that ordeal. Wow. Yeah, I know. Whatever you think this, uh, children starving in africa and bob's got to swim in a cold pool. You know, I was like, I know. Oh my god first world problems right here man i know i know humanity i love itCan I turn off the pool,
