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Oscar Whizzer
Episode 11
Tuesday, 17 March, 2026

Miles gets bamboozled into a strange work duty that leaves him without proper facilities, while Bob marvels at how he and Michael B Jordan sat in the same booth at In-N-Out. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/ABwCuSEo_Tk Miles gets bamboozled into a strange work duty that leaves him without proper facilities, while Bob marvels at how he and Michael B Jordan sat in the same booth at In-N-Out. Oscar Whizzer Bad AI Transcript It’s on. It’s on. Let me see that. I want you all to sing along to the fifth dimension now. Hey, everyone, this is Miles. What song are you going to sing? The fifth dimension. You have to get some better references, I think. No, I was just watching that DTF St. Louis. Oh, you were? I haven’t watched it yet. How was it? Boy, if you like dong, man, is it loaded? Oh, really? Well. I know you don’t care, but there you are. I don’t care. I think that’s fine. No, I don’t. Yes. I don’t know. Whatever. I’m a little old-fashioned. How many different penises would you say you saw on the show so far? I don’t know. So many you can’t count? There was just one is enough. One. Yeah, one.I think you’re right. No, it’s good. Besides that, Jason Bateman, oh, he’s great. Linda Gargolini. Did Jason Bateman show his penis? Is that what you’re talking about? No, no, no. What about the Stranger Things guy? Well, I can’t really go into it. Oh, okay. It’s one of those you have to see it? Yeah. It turns out Linda Cardellini is actually tucked. which is like the surprise shocker, like the Stomelon twist that you were not expecting. Oh. Yeah. Why would you reveal that? You wouldn’t talk about the stranger thing. I thought you were going to watch this show, so I don’t want to ruin it for you. Yeah, you’ll just tell me that. Oh, Linda Carlini, by the way. No, I made that up. Oh, okay. There you go. I do. I am curious to watch it.I doubt if it was even shot down here. I’m sure they have some establishing shots or something. I think I saw your house in the background. It wasn’t there. Are they in the burbs or are they in the city? They’re in the burbs. Is there a city called Twyla or something like that? No. I made it up, I think. Oh, they wouldn’t do that. They’re going to show dicks. They’re not going to pick anything up. Yeah. penis is the only honest. Yeah, it’s not an honest show unless you see all yeah if you see a penis, it’s an honest show for christ then you know it’s real. Yeah, salt of the earth. Yeah, that’s what i can’t enjoy myself i yeah i um i do have that on my, uh, list of things to watch. I think you would enjoy it well okay good is it funnyDid you know? Well, see, I saw the preview, and I thought, hmm, this is right up my alley, you know? All right. We’re going to show dicks. Yeah, like, no, no. No, like, Linda’s at this ball game with Jason, and she’s got this beers in her hand, and she puts one in between her legs. And she’s like, this one’s for you, Bob. And he’s like, no, no, no, I can’t. She’s like, yeah, I know. All right. Can I have a straw? Huh? That would have added something to it. Yeah. Yeah. They’re a Bush stadium, which. Oh my God. I didn’t look at that. That’s the funniest joke. I didn’t even think about it. Yeah. Yeah. You’re right. Bush, which is, yeah. And she puts the beer between your legs. Huh? Yeah. Huh?naturally brewed. She didn’t call herself, you know, get your beer from Little Augie, did she? Yeah, I don’t know. It’s my own IPA, you know what I’m saying? Belma from the Scooby-Doo movies? Oh my gosh. Yeah, so I see the preview, I’m like, oh, all right, this is right up Miles’ alley, and then I start watching, I’m like, pump the brakes. It really is up my alley. so i think you’ll like it. Okay, well, I’ll check it out. I’ve got, for some reason, I’ve got uh things stacking up here, so. Yeah. On the show front, because i like to have a good show, you know. All the kids, you know, from stranger things do cameos and stuff they’re all We’re all 18. We’re going to show our dicks. Yeah, the kid with no teeth shows up. You’re a bush team. This beer tastes a little flat. Got a hair in it. What do you call this? Chlamydia. Nice, nice.I love to watch these shows that supposedly take place in places that I’ve been just to see if they really were there. There’s a lot of product placement, too, in it. Oh, really? Because Ozark was not shot in the Ozarks. I’ve been to the Ozarks many, many, many times. Many times. And there’s a few scenes that are actually in the Ozarks. Very few. Most of that was not shot in the Ozarks, I can tell you. I believe it. Yeah, it was shot actually up in Michigan. Toronto. Yeah. No, Michigan. Michigan. No, no. That was a good show, too. I didn’t watch it. Oh, you didn’t? Oh, you should watch that. Uh-oh. I’m watching One Piece right now. You watch One Piece on Netflix? No. Oh, you should. It’s a good show. I’m going to research shows now. I’m going to be honest with you. I’m going to research the shows a little bit.I don’t think you got your free subscription to Mr. Skin anymore. Yeah, I know. Stupid jerk. Bastard. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, so, you know. I don’t know. Does he talk about penises? I have no idea. You’re the one that researched. You actually went on Mr. Skin when we actually had that. Well, don’t make it sound like it was just me on there. Now, you… No, I never even looked at the site. I think you did. I did not. Because you already nabbed the free one. Yeah. Snooze you lose, man. Whatever, man. There was only one free subscription, and so you got it. Right. Correct. Oh, like you’d be on there. You’d be like, no, I can’t look at it. Don’t show me. don’t show me. The puppet show. The puppet show. So, yeah. I do think that uh we’ll claim we’ll lay claim to this, whether it’s true or not how’s that okay that we got Mr. Skin in trouble with howard stern yeah yeah yeah i don’t know if people know that yeah so mr skin was on our show many, many, many moons ago. AndAt that time, Howard Stern was actually syndicated on regular radio stations, and he was on the station here in St. Louis, and I was listening to it. And shortly after Mr. Skin was on our show, Howard Stern yelled at him on air and said, what are you doing all these other shows for? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And he had just done our show, so there you go. What? We were talking about Ruth Gordon. I mean, what? Come on. Yeah. You know, I mean, come on, Howard. Geez. Give me a break. Well, that’s my territory. Oh, you know. Yeah. Okay. Whatever. Robin. Robin. Let me tell you, Ruth Gordon, the sexiest woman, Robin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that was, that did the, it was a weird coincidence that actually happened. Well, another bridge burnt. Yeah. Go put that in the list. So, uh, did you watch the Oscars at all?No. Do you have any knowledge of the Oscars at all? I know that Amy Madigan won. Yes. Yeah, she did. Is her happy about that? Because that Amy Madigan, she’s really… I tell you what, she’s no Ruth Gordon, but man, I’m telling you, if you don’t know who Ruth Gordon is… She’s the 21st century Ruth Gordon. She’s a poor man’s Ruth Gordon, if you ask me. Oh my goodness. If you saw her portrayal in, uh, that movie, uh, weapons, imagine a woman called Ruth Gordon that looked like that basically. Now, the interesting thing is there was a movie with Nicholas Cage where he played this really weird character. Oh, gosh. I’m going to blank on the name of this now. It was like a really far out weird killer character. Hannibal Hamlin. No, now I got to go look it up for fuck’s sake. Oh, let’s just stop the show. Everyone just go ahead and… Yeah, everybody justI got to think of the name of this thing off the top of my head here. Long legs. You got those long legs. He said that it was really weird. So, yeah, long legs. But he didn’t want anything for that. And her portrayal was, you know, it was just as creepy, maybe creepier. I don’t know as Nicolas Cage in that movie. So, yeah, long legs. So, No, what got me was, speaking of earlier saying I like to watch things where places that I’ve been, Michael B. Jordan won Best Actor for Sinners. Did you see Sinners? That’s a pretty good movie. No. Oh, you should watch it. I think it’s on HBO or something. You should watch it. And he decided to go to In-N-Out Burger after the ceremonies. I did see a picture of this. I…I probably sat in that booth at that In-N-Out Burger. With your own trophy. That’s right, with my own trophy. That you carry around, World’s Best Dad or something. Yeah, something like that. I can’t remember. Best Dressed. Best Dad might be more closer than Best Dressed. Yeah, I was like, wow, look at that. Michael B. Jordan’s at the In-N-Out Burger where we go, where we’ve been several times when we visited California. There you go. And, you know, everyone here, the reaction at home was exactly the same as what you did. Son of a bitch. they’re like, yeah. So what? You and about a bazillion other people sat in that goddamn booth I’d been no I’d been excited I’d be like, hey, I farted in there. I dribbled. No, I thought that was interesting, though. I thought wow that’s the that’s the in and out across from Hollywood high School, which it was, and that’s where he went so it’s the closest one to the where the where the show was, soRight. Yeah. But no, I, I must say, you know, I don’t know if people realize this and I’ll remind them. Miles and I went to film school together. That’s where all this starts. Uh, we went to film school, we were on a college radio together and all that good kind of stuff. And the Oscars this year, very lackluster, uh, all told. It’s like one of those years that people are going to forget pretty quickly, I think. Yeah. I mean, not that those movies weren’t good or anything. They were very entertaining, but these aren’t classics or anything. You know? Godfather. Yeah. I mean, any of them, but yeah. It’s just like, okay, they’re all fine. I actually have seen, because now they have moreBest Picture nominees than ever before. Then they have 10. For Christ’s sake, they upped it. And I think I’ve seen at least five of the 10. Yeah. And I hope to see a couple more, but I’m not going to get through the whole list. It’s just too much. No, no. Yeah. So here, let me, I’ll read them off to you real quick. So Begonia, loved it. Fantastic movie. You should watch it. It’s weird. F1. Horrible movie. Brad Pitt. Nope. Don’t bother with it. Frankenstein. I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t that great. It was Benicio Del… Not Benicio. What’s the other guy? Del Toro. Hamnet. I haven’t seen it, but I’m going to watch it soon. Marty Supreme. I have not seen that. I do want to see it.The Sadfie brothers, who are usually really good. One Battle After Another was the winner. Not a good movie. I don’t know why people liked it. The Secret Agent, I haven’t seen that. Sentimental Value has Stellan Skarsgård, the world’s greatest actor. I’ll be watching that eventually. Sinners and Train Dreams, which I saw both of those movies. Both good movies. I saw none. I love the way, now, didn’t you used to, though? I mean, wasn’t it a thing for you? No, I mean, I didn’t go to see all the movies. I mean, I don’t know. I mean, you went to film school. I know we talked about films. I mean, we did write papers about films. I just watched a film last night that was about 10 years old, and I enjoyed it. I’m like, wow, I’ve never heard of this movie. What was the name of that? Is it The Bell…nap experiment. No, no cap experiment. It was so memorable. Um, it’s like diehard meets, uh, squid game. Bell Knapp experiment, you think? Yeah. Michael Rooker and a whole bunch of other people I don’t know. Okay, Michael Rooker. I’m going to look it up here. And we’ll see. You said it’s from 10 years ago. About. About 10 years ago. Or maybe newer, I don’t know. Michael Rooker’s been in a bunch of shit. Holy moly. Yeah. The Belko experiment. Is that it? Yeah. That’s got to be it. Belko. I don’t know. His name was Bud Melks. Yeah. Oh, well, there you go. It’s worth watching is what you’re saying. He gets his brains bashed in from that weird guy from Batman. It says office space meets battle Royale. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. Melko experiment. Oh, yeah. Who was the director? Del Toro.No, Greg McLean. Don’t even know him. But John C. McGinley’s in it, and he’s always good. Yes, yes, that’s right he was in it yes oh fantastic yeah he’s management he’s management so there you go well he was not he was an office space as well, so. Yeah, right. He was one of the uh you know, One of the two guys there. I’ll have to watch that movie again. I saw it a long time ago. I was not impressed with it. I know it’s like a cult classic. I just don’t remember being that impressed with that movie. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it. Miles is the Squidward. I’m SpongeBob and Miles is Squidward. I didn’t like it. You’re more the Sandy Cheeks, I think. Come on, SpongeBob. Let’s go away.I’m Josh and Louie. Let’s go ride a worm. Game of Toads. So that’s circling back to the Jason Bateman movie I was watching. Circles back, yeah. Oh my goodness. No, I just, I don’t, I used to be more into the Oscars pre-COVID for some reason. I don’t know why, but yeah. covid lost interest so much but i did pay attention to the uh results i did watch the oscars with you one time a long time ago uh with silence of the lambs i think we oh back in 92 yeah whenever that was yeah i think we were i think we did watch that. I think we did. I think you’re right. I think I, I don’t know. I don’t really want one time. The one time we actually spent, uh, time together. Yes. Yeah. One of the few times this is, thewe don’t spend time together very often other than that, other than this. So, well, this is, this is enough. Don’t you think? I mean, I mean, I played pinball with you on my birthday, but I thought it was too much. Wasn’t it? It’s like a little bit too much. Yeah. And that’s why you had a near death experience. Yeah. I’m like, I’d rather die than spend another minute with this. Yeah. This asshole. It’s, I switched about not having gas to get to where we were. Yeah, I had to run out of gas. There were stairs he had to climb. He was all upset. Death stairs, yes, death stairs. Some girl was on the pinball machine he wanted to play. No, yes. I’m not going to forget that. I know. But I don’t really have a story tonight. It’s just random things I was talking about. Do you have a story? I’m sorry.I have a weird one. I don’t know. Have we talked enough? No, no. You can tell your weird story. Well, it’s a little quickie. How about a little quickie? Everyone enjoys a little quickie now and then. Apparently, Linda Cardinelli does. She does. Oh, yes, she does. I haven’t seen it yet. So, it was weird. It’s like we got this new boss and he’s like, Miles, Miles, come here. He goes, Miles, go against his family. I’m going to close up the shop for a little bit, but I want you to stay here. I want you to stay in my office. I’m going to lock the doors because we’re having like these carpet guys come in. They’re going to clean the carpets. Okay. Well, I want you to stay. If you’re in there. Well, no, I’m like in a little back office. Okay. And I can clean those carpets. Well, he’s got like some old wooden floor and old building. And he’s like,So we want to give the illusion at least like someone’s angels on the phones. Cause really that’s supposed to close, you know? Right. Right. Got it. So it’s like, all right, well, yeah, I guess. Sure. And, uh, next thing I know, so I closed the door and these guys are, it’s loud. And this dude pops his head and he goes, Hey, by the way, uh, you really can’t walk on this for like two or three hours, you know, just like a special thing we put on it. And, So you’re like, can you throw me a bottle of water, please? Yeah. He’s like, oh, we already did that. Yeah. So you can’t like go to the break room and eat and you can’t take a whiz. I’m like, what? He’s like, yeah, you’re stuck in this little room for about three or four hours. The joke’s on you, buddy. Yeah. I’m like, no, no, it’s going to be another one of those things where you try to squeeze through the window.No, no. Yeah. I was like, that’s not going to happen. I go, okay, listen, I’m an old diabetic man. And I know it’s going to happen. You know, it’s happening. So I’m like, I start rummaging. Could you bring another trash can in here for me, please? I was rummaging through the boss’s trash can. I go, oh, thank God. Like a Hardee’s cup, you know? Oh my God. Oh my God. So I closed the door and it had no lock on it. I’m like, oh, God. I go, God, please don’t let me get caught doing this. This is going to be harder. What’s even worse of you sitting at the desk and you’re taking a whiz? What if I sit and do it, you know? Like I’d butt my pants and I’d just like put it, you know, between my legs and, you know, girl style. Lean forward a little bit. Knock, knock.Hello, Miles. You come up here and tell me. No, you got this open cup of piss sitting next to you. Wait a minute. I can only imagine that your urine smells horrible. I just had asparagus like last night. I was so, I mean, nothing, no one saw anything. but I’m like, you’re like, wait a minute. I hope that’s very Coke. Cause this has kind of got a red tinge to it. Yeah. Right. Cause I like, I don’t like to pee in front of people. Like I can, you know, I just don’t like it at all. Sure. Yeah. I have an issue with that. I don’t know why I just do it. I’m like, okay. All right. So help me God. If one of these guys pops into this room right now, please me doing this. I quit. I will quit.My job. I walk on this fucking floor. Did you stand up and aim? Like a high dive kind of situation. I put my back against the door. Oh, wait. That doesn’t make any sense because if they bang open the door, you piss everywhere. I don’t know what to do. I’m like, how do I… It’s like… From 20 stories, I’m going to hit the middle of this circle. I’m doing like some MacGyver piss break in the old office. I’m like, fuck, what the? Oh, my God. That’s horrible. And then I put it on the floor under the desk. God, what if I kick it over? I’m like, what do I do with it? What if you kick it on the freshly cleaned carpet? So they like open the door and like next to the door and they kind of tip it back. And then it falls forward. It goes all over the new clean carpet. What the fuck is this big stain in front of my door? It smelled like piss. Vinnie. I’m sorry. All right. I’m sorry. I think a bobcat got in over the weekend. Oh my God. That was so funny. Oh my gosh. Thank God. It wasn’t, you know,One mile is one cup. Oh, geez. You’re like pulling receipts out of drawers trying to take care of it. Wiping your butt with all these receipts. Thought I had to take a crap. I can’t. This sounds like some kind of Mr. Bean episode or something. I was glad I didn’t have diarrhea or something. Yeah, really. I’m going to have to go in the trash can or something. Goodness gracious. Oh, I would have to go in the trash can or something. I don’t know. How do you do that? What you didn’t mention was your boss has floor-to-ceiling windows with no shades. Yeah, yeah. So everyone’s like clapping. King Salami. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I can’t believe you. Yeah. You’re like, yeah, I’ll do whatever you want me to do, boss. And then you’re like, wait a minute. I’m stuck in this room. Yeah. What did you do? Did you leave it in there?for him to find or what? I, we, we came back like, you know, shortly before closing time. He’s like, all right, good job. You did a good job. Everything’s good. Now you can walk out. I’m like, okay. What’d you do with the piss? I calmly picked it up. I walked outside. I found a snow bank and I dumped it out. Oh, you still have snow up there. Goodness. Yeah. Oh yeah. It’s no storm now. Oh God. Well, I just like, I calmly did it. I just like, I was so like James Bond. And the guy’s kind of like, he’s looking at the cup. He’s like, well, when did he get a Hardee’s cup? Is that apple juice? Oh, my God. He’d probably be like, man, that’s awful carbonated. It’s all foamy.smells like bush stadium you know it smells like, uh, you know miles i know you i would wouldn’t second guess you, but it smells like an old bar down here now. I don’t know why. You were in here. I know you were in here. It smells like the trough at the old bar. I got hidden cameras in my office. I’ll be looking at your search history on my computer. I’m trying to steal these kids from stealing from me. Oh, my God. That was so embarrassing. Oh, my God. he’s like carry the cup out and he goes i’m kind of i’m kind of parched do you mind? They don’t get a refill. Anyone else? Do you have a straw sticking out? Yes. Yeah. The straw and those red were still on it yeah what makes you think that? I mean, I don’t know, man. Two, open the door for me a quick.How did the carpets look? Pretty good. The carpets were good, yes. I’m just glad I only had to do it once, though. I’m like, what if I go nuts and just had to pee every half an hour like the usual? Good thing you didn’t walk out of there with a drink and a bag. Your lunch bag is dripping gravy or something. It looks awful heavy. Yeah. What do you got in there? You got like a triple whopper. Oh, my God. He’s like, why does my office smell like the goddamn bathroom? It smells like Bush Stadium. God damn it. It smells like PTs. Oh, my gosh. I can’t believe you held back on that one. Let me meander around about the Oscars. Jesus Christ. Yeah.Okay. You know, we could use a guy like you on the old carpet cleaning crew. You can hold down the fort. What if I filled it up so it’s like brimming full? I’m like, oh, God, I got to carry this thing outside. Like, oh, shit. Oh, you got to tip it. You didn’t have a window or anything in this office? Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Office in Paris. I’m like, God damn it. I got to… Get rid of the evidence. Do you have cleaning people that come in at night or anything? No. You leave it in the garbage can and hope that they tip it off. That’s cruel, man. That’s fucking cruel. What the fuck is this? What kind of freak? What kind of weirdo leaving me his piss cup? Tastes a little sugary. Yeah.I might want to take his insulin. Sounds like this guy takes a lot of medication. That’s bizarre. No one thought to say… I mean, they obviously work with you. They know that you’re constantly pissing. Yeah, I know. Well, I just slipped his mind. He’s like, I’ll be back. Don’t worry. I’m like, all right. I’ll save you. Just act like the place is open. We’re not supposed to close it. I’m like, okay. Well, how you can’t get to the door? I don’t know. I didn’t make up the plan. I don’t know. It’s like a candid camera. They got footage of you going, how am I going to do this? America’s Funniest Home Video. It’s one of those late night HBO shows. Piss Cup Confession. Yeah, and then the host is like, I’vefor certain we were going to catch him whacking off. Yeah, guys are exchanging money like, oh, here’s the fiver, man. Yeah, we thought for sure he’s going to look at pornography, but no, he’s just pissing in a horse cup. I hope it was the big one. That was medium, I think. Oh, really? Yeah, I dumped the water that was in it in the trash. Oh, it’s not good to put piss in the trash, but just leaving the water in the trash is perfectly fine. It all made sense, you know, at the time. It all made sense. Yeah, we’ll just put this water in here. What if I started filling up the cup? Like, all of a sudden, I went nuts and, like, started filling it up to the rim. I’m like, oh, geez. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Third time’s a charm. Here we go. Hey, this cup. I had the big gulp earlier today. This cup smells like Busch Stadium and Linda Cardellini. Yeah, Linda Cardellini’s jean shorts. Huge, yeah.Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever had that happen. Yeah. I thought you’d enjoy it. I don’t know about enjoy. Yeah. I enjoy the fact that, you know, you get put in awkward situations. Yeah, well, that’s the whole show. I don’t think that I would want to be there. Thank God he didn’t make you stay with the other lady. And you got trapped in that office. Oh, Jesus. Oh, man. There are elevators in your building, is there? No. Oh, thank God. No. [su_qrcode data=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/03/17/oscar-whizzer/” title=”Oscar Whizzer” link=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/03/17/oscar-whizzer/” ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————-