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Author: Bob LeMent

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LeMent Tonight for February 12, 2026
Episode 2
Sunday, 15 February, 2026

This Week Gemini said Bob LeMent hosted Canadian comedians and podcasters Darcy Fiander and Todd Van Allen, co-hosts of the O Show Pod (OK So Here’s One), for a wide-ranging conversation that blended comedy with anecdotal observations about life in the Great White North. The trio discussed the essence of “street jokes”—simple, classic setups like the “Guy walks into a bar” variety—and shared the origin of Todd’s podcast, which serves as a platform for celebrating these timeless bits. OSHOpod.com https://youtube.com/live/srbA_3h1CY8 Bad AI Transcript Hey, everybody. It’s Lament Tonight. And tonight we got Darcy Fiander and Todd Van Allen with us. How are you guys doing tonight? Darcy, you were mentioned first. Go first. I did that on purpose. I’m good. Bob, it’s a delight to be here. Thank you so much for having us. Because Darcy usually doesn’t say as much. And so I thought I would just throw him out there. Yeah. Yeah. This is the most uncomfortable you’ve made him in his own house. Well, you guys live in Canada. He’s got an air conditioner behind him. I’m like, what is going on with this guy? No, no, no. When it dips to like minus 12 Celsius, that’s when you go, it’s too hot in here. Oh, okay. Yeah, I can see that. I can see that happening. So you guys are both from Canada? Yes. We just established that. We were actually talking about…Tim Horton’s putting his privates into a box for you on demand. And if anybody likes donuts and whatnot. And so, yeah, you’re here on Lament tonight. Thanks for being here, guys. We really appreciate it. And hopefully we’ll have some fun. And I think what I’ll do is I’m going to turn it over to you guys to do a little monologue for us of sorts. A monologue? Okay, well, actually monologues are not my forte. Darcy, what do you have? All right. What’s going on? What’s in the news? Darcy, for people who do not know, there it is. That’s exactly what I was going to talk about. We are the co-hosts of the O Show pod, which is OK So Here’s One, a podcast celebrating street jokes. What we do is we bring on a guest. Bob, you’ve done the show at least twice now? I think so, yeah. I think after the second time you saidDon’t come back unless you’re bringing presents or something. Nope, that’s absolutely wrong. Every time your presence is there, that is presence enough. But we will also make sure that we get a street joke out of you. Do you remember what your first street joke was that you told us? Oh, I told, I basically, I told the Monty Python joke. That’s right, that’s right. That’s the essence of street jokes. Street jokes are just in the common, because they would have stolen that for their script. Right, oh. Right? So it’s just like, it’s jokes that are just out there. Guy walks into a bar, that sort of thing. You know, three chickens are sitting on a stool, like that sort of thing, right? Do you remember what your joke was? I do. Okay. What was it? It’s a call and response kind of joke. So my dog has no nose. How does he smell? Horrible. There we are. That’s the show. That’s the show. Well, we talk with people beforehand, and they can come on and promote the things that they’re promoting, right? Yeah.we forgot to do the promoting part. Oh, no, trust me like there was there were times on the previous essence of the of our of our podcast where publicity people would be in the room, and an hour in, we’re talking, and suddenly you go, like, what’s what’s that what’s that do you hear that? And that is just the publicist drumming their fingers going, when are we going to talk about the project when when does that happen? So we don’t do that now. And actually, it’s weird. For about the past month and a half, everyone’s been promoting their shows at Fallsview Casino. Oh, really? We have been on a run of a whole bunch of guests that have come on like they’re doing Fallsview Casino in Niagara Falls. And so they come on and they’ve been promoting their shows. It has been great. It has been great. Again, you’ve been on. I don’t know if you performed at Fallsview Casino. You should. Not to my knowledge.I was up actually by Niagara Falls, and it was during COVID, and they wouldn’t let me cross over. Right. Sorry. Yeah. You’re sorry. I was sorry, too. It was right there. I couldn’t see it. You’re looking around, and you’re like, this is the shitty side. I did not want to tell you. I did not want to say. I’m like, the nice stuff’s over on the other side. I can’t go over there. I know there’s an Applebee’s. The shitty side has now got something these days. Because it’s so cold, the American side has frozen. No! Are you serious? Yeah. It’s running underneath it, but there’s a huge ice formation over the top. Really? It’s actually something to see. It’s like a sneeze guard for Niagara Falls. It’s justPeople coming in looking for the baby corn with the tongs. There’s a chocolate fountain around here somewhere. Yeah, exactly. I have friends that have just invested. I somehow got into this and I really don’t know how. There’s a bunch of people that I don’t even work with. It’s like a friend of mine who kind of works with them. And they have like a bi-monthly, it was bourbon tasting, but now since the problems, we’ve moved to other liquors and it was rye for a while. Now they’ve rotated around. But someone found… I’m going to ask you about the problems. Importing the things? Yeah, there’s that. There’s that. I have a stash of some things that I have been whittling my way through very gradually. I’ll put it that way.just in case the contraband police are listening. But they found a, like, you know, the chocolate fountain that you mentioned, which is just like this constantly cycling thing. They found one of those, but for old fashions. Oh, okay. So you make a, I guess, a picture of old fashions. You pour it in this fountain, and then you just Don Draper your way through the night. And it’s interesting. Yeah. Let’s talk about the new Camaro. The dead mill pen will tell you that it’s bitchin’. It’s bitchin’, that’s right. I can’t believe right now, at this moment, at this exact moment, we have now halved both of our audiences. There is no reason to watch either of these performances. there’s no reason well we will be at the casino yeah a couple weeks that is right. Well, I, you can cross the border now uh yeah i know it’s gonna be a question of which bridge, but you’ll be fine. You know, I might just walk the sneeze guard to be honest with you. Yeah, that’s true. Actually that it was actually to to darcy’s point um because the canadian side has, has much like what? 10 times the water that goes over.There was on record a time where it was so cold that it froze. There’s pictures. I’ve seen that. I’ve seen the pictures. That’s the easiest time to go over in a barrel. I don’t know. It’s like a slope. Maybe a little harder fall. I don’t know. No, because it’s soft at the bottom. It’s all that water. What if there’s stalagmites No, never even thought of that. Right. I can’t remember whose joke it was, and I’m going to butcher it. Someone asked me what the difference is between stalagmite and stalactite. I was like, well, stalactites have a C. They hang from the ceiling. And stalagmites have made me want to question every decision that I’ve gone through up to this point. Yes. Yes. That’s it. Oh, my goodness. So, yeah, I guess that’s our monologue. Well, what’s the weather there on this Canadian side? We got to get the weather report. We may have to do metric. I don’t know what the conversion metric is. No, just do metric. I’ll convert. Okay. I’ll be like an interpreter. So, we actually had a warm day today. It was minus 20. That’s about 35 Fahrenheit. No, no, that’s way lower.I know. Oh, no, no. That’s. Hang on. Double it. Net 30. So if I subtract this, it should be 15 degrees Fahrenheit. OK, 15. Well, I’m just making everybody feel comfortable. So like we were like minus 20. And so I actually got to wear a lighter coat. It was it was nice. Darcy, what was it in Toronto? Balmy minus seven. There you go. Jesus. So you were back in shorts. Well, you had the air conditioner on for Christ’s sake. You got that air conditioner. Just walking around the house and his wife runs the heat. Seriously, though, seriously, my window is open on the other side, further down the room here. The window is open with a fan blowing in air from the outside. Really? It does. Was energy free in Canada or something? I mean, for me, it kind of is. I’m not paying for heat.And it’s the old, old hot water radiators. Right. Yeah. So they were cranked up when it was really cold. And it takes a long time for it to adjust. So when the temperature goes up, it just cooks in here. Right. Wow. Yeah. Windows open. It’s like turning the Titanic. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And your answer to that is ice. Yeah. Ice. So. Well, there you go. The only application of that particular word that is actually working. It’s 40 degrees here right now. Okay, so that’s… Hang on. Fahrenheit. Yeah, so that means subtract 30. So you’re like 5 degrees Celsius. Yeah, that sounds about right. Wow, you’re good at math. Who knew? You know what it is? Literally, it’s double it and add 30. So when you go Fahrenheit to Celsius, you do the opposite. So you subtract 30 and then cut it in half. Yeah. That’s what you do. I think that old adage applies to many other calculations. Double it and add 30. Oh, yeah. That’s…Sweetheart, what’s my wiener and Fahrenheit? That’s, uh, yeah. Yeah. Everybody loves that one yep so so uh hold on a second, guys. We have a little, a message from the, uh, sponsors here. I don’t know i shouldn’t say sponsor because, uh, maybe it’s not a sponsor, but let’s, uh, Let’s take a look. Here we go. Thank you. Oh, there you go. That’s gorgeous. Except they don’t have, like, knives and grenades in their hands. Yeah, no, it’s all very sweet. Now, not to be totally outdone, let’s see. I’ll make sure I got this. I got another thing that we’re supposed to show as well. Here, let’s make sure I got this one. I thought I had it queued up, and then I don’t. Okay.Because of all the confusion. Right. This is going online right now. I’m just seeing like live and there’s a clock. It is, but there’s no one watching. Okay. All right. Okay. You know what? Basically like one of my shows. Exactly. We’re good. I’ve never felt more comfortable. Don’t even worry about it. Don’t even worry about it. But I do that. I’ll explain why I do that later here. Here’s the other message that I’m supposed to play. Okay. Here we go. That’s Darcy’s got a new thing coming out called Darcy is Lost. Darcy is Lost. Darcy, where are you right now? I have no idea. So I can’t speak for Darcy’s. It’s a new project. You certainly haven’t brought it up in staff meetings. It’s in progress. This is how I find out, Darcy. This is how I find out.The Reference to Butterflies is my second comedy album, and I’m actually in the process of getting the third one. Oh, you should have told me. I would have done some horrible AI thing for that. No, no, no. First of all, I don’t even have a title yet. I was going to say, what part of the process are you in now? We’re at the panicking to try and find someone to record it stage right now. I don’t have a title yet is the title. That’s Tom and Alan doesn’t have to tell you. You know, I think it was Brian Adams’ Reckless album, I believe it was. The record label would not let him call it this. He was going to call it Brian Adams Hasn’t Heard of You Either. Why wouldn’t they let him do that? I don’t know. It’s the same reason that Darcy and I were in an online trivia with a guest of the show,A friend of ours, Terrence Palazzo, he runs Trivia Nights. Does he still do the online one, Darcy? I haven’t seen it. I haven’t checked. No, I’m not sure. Okay. But he made his money. He’s an actor and a comedian as well. Whenever I do write him up, he’s one of my first go-tos for writers. He’s a very, very hilarious roast writer. And he would do across the city in like three or four different venues, Trivia Nights. And that’s how he made his money. But then during COVID… there were no bars open. So that dried up on him. So we did it over Zoom. So Darcy and I would do Zoom trivia with him. And so I patched it through my computer. So Darcy and I were on a Zoom call and that was being patched in. So it was like, it was, I was really impressed with how I was able to do it. I couldn’t do it right now. Again, I could not repeat it. It’s just like the moon landing. Yes. It’s like, how’d you do it? Don’t ask. I don’t know. I wrote nothing down. But our first trivia…Uh, team name, uh, was and walnuts for crunch. And then we shifted to just because I said it once and Darcy laughed and then I don’t think ever laughed again because he reads out the, the, uh, Terrence reads out the team names, uh, of everyone that’s in the, in the show. And so he has to read them out just like I have to read out all the rows. Uh, so this is my kind of getting back at him. And so we called our team. I’m not reading this one. It’s racist. Oh, there you go. Yeah. We only left once. Only left once. And then, and then I said, Oh, we should call it that. And I think he had, uh, he had a couple of these in him and went, Oh yeah, sure. Let’s do that. Great idea. So to answer your question about, about the new album, uh, dates are set. I’m doing, um,doing dates in march in toronto uh fourth through seventh or eighth at absolute comedy there that’s the warm-up and then the recording will be uh in ottawa absolute comedy there the last week in march uh so we’ll be recording at least over at least three nights possibly four uh and then hopefully that will give me enough raw material to put an album out oh okay four times I’m overlapping four times. There has to be something there. There has to be. That’s what I should call it. There has to be something there. You could always call it, you know, the better side of the falls. Yeah. Well, then I’ll never sell any in the U.S. They don’t know that. They think it’s vague. They’ll be like, yeah. Oh, that’s right. Yeah, we are the better U.S.A., U.S.A. And then whenever you’re there, you’re like, yeah, you know, the better side. So I would do like, I would have to have two covers, like one that’s red, white, and blue.And then just red and white up here. Well, you can just have the sky. Yeah. Do the, do the sneeze guard falls. That’s right. Sneeze guard falls. There’s the album title. Sneeze guard falls. Sneeze guard falls. See, I don’t like, here’s the thing. I love having albums that have something to do with the, with the actual content. Like where there’s like, like part of the setup of like, cause butterflies is one of my jokes really is, is, is a line out of one of my jokes. So I like having that tie in. I have friends of mine that don’t do that. And it drives me nuts. Yeah. You need to go all the way back to, you know, Led Zeppelin and just call things random cashmere and right. You know, whatever. If you listen to like a lot of EDM, like I do, none of the, none of the names of songs make any sense at all. Yeah.I had a friend of mine. I loaned him. I don’t expect anyone on this screen to know this man. There’s an electronic outfit called Photek. P-H-O-T-E-K. Oh, Photek. You know them. Of course. Who could forget their Christmas classic? I gave him this album. It’s all instrumentals and it’s all pretty hardcore electronic stuff. He said, I’ll listen to it on the way home. then bring it back to you uh tomorrow because he he took the train in and out of work. And so he gave it to him he comes in the next day, he hands it to me. And his first words were, why do they bother naming the songs? Because they mean nothing. So I’m always afraid of that. I’m always afraid probably because of some, you know, persons like, we got to have a name for this tradition dictates yeah you know rightI don’t know how we’re going to make a table of contents without a name for the song. You could do it like some shows do on Netflix where like, you know, they’ll sometimes if the, if the writers have, if the writer’s room has put in, you know, some, some graft and craft to it, they’ll actually title the episodes. Like breaking bad was great with this one, uh, that entire season where it was about, um, Jesse’s girlfriend overdosing. And then the father crashed two planes cause he’s in there, uh, Sorry, spoiler alert. Yeah. Breaking Bad. But all the titles of the episodes led to like aircraft, like they’re all called like aircraft down over AQ, you know, EQ, like whatever the airport code was. PDQ. PDQ, yeah. So, and then there’s the other shows that when you go, ooh, I wonder what the title of this is and you pause it and it’ll tell you the title and it’s, oh, sweetheart, we’re watchingepisode three. There’s a lot of those. Yeah. Everybody plagiarizes all those. And then there’s, uh, friends that always did, uh, the one about the the naked guy across the right. So it would just be the one about, and it was so clever. They had this book on friends, you know, friends, the compendium or whatever it was, and they had an index of all the episodes. and every page was like A blank, B blank, C blank. And then you got to T, the one about, the one about, the one about, the one about, the one about. And that was the funniest part of that show. Well, hold on just a second. Gary Lyman, the Fleetones are going to play us a little song. Okay. Yeah, Gary, you ready to go? One, two, three, four.That’s nice. We don’t want to get too far into the lyrics. You know, Gary, I think he reminds me of something that I did once. And to the point where I have taken it too far, much to the secret of my wife. I was homesick one day, and this is before we got married. And it was like one of those like really bad flu things where you just like, I can’t move. It’s just like, I don’t want to do anything. So I just started firing in my DVDs of the Sopranos. It’s like, this is, this is what I’ll watch. The one about. Yeah. The one about strangling that guy. And the one about, you know, yeah. Polly Walnuts eating ketchup packages in a van, you know? And so I, I, I, I listened to the opening credit music and then, and I,just kind of, Oh, I’ll skip through it. And I, I just hit the, the, the remote button once. And what it did is it played it at 1.5, the speed. And it sounded like an amazing dance track. Like it just like, it just, it gets everything lined up. It just sped up, sped up. The tempo is great. And then when the fills came in, they came in much faster. It was, it sounded like this really great. I was like, Oh my God, it might’ve been the medication. And so my wife got home. And she’s like, I brought you soup. She’s usually like, how are you feeling? And I went, sweetheart, you’re not going to believe what I just did. And know that she’s Italian. So like we were watching this brand. I said, watch this. And I went to the opening credits and I played them on one and a half. And I was like, isn’t this amazing? And she went great. And then went downstairs and made dinner. But to the point where I actually recorded it. Oh, yeah.So that, you know, I had it as a piece of music. And then at our wedding, it was on our playlist. In fact, let me just, we won’t get in trouble because we edited it. Let me just find it here. You still have it on your phone? Yes, I do. Here we go. Okay. Just 1.5. That’s all you got to do. Now, do you think either one of you could tell me what song I played? It was something by the Jackson 5 or Michael Jackson, was it? Yeah, it was a Michael Jackson song. What was it? Which one was it? It’s Rock With You. Oh, right. Rock With You. Does he do the 1, 2, 3, 4 off the top? No, no. I have that. That’s a song. Okay.That goes with whatever Gary gets mad at me. That also goes with this. Bob, you are a great asshole. Oh, beautiful. Thanks. Darcy, I hope you’re taking notes because this is the sort of morning zoo nonsense that we need to bring into our show. We’ve recorded that. Be careful what you wish for, Todd. Just clip that out. Now, let’s transition. Let’s play an improvisational game if you’re willing, both of you. Darcy, you can just crank up the AC. Okay. I’ve got several. Darcy, Darcy, you know that’s my joke. Come on. Come on. Sorry, but I improvised. You’re stealing my bit. I think the names will kind of tell you what it is. So first one, World Gone Mad. What a Story. Mind Guck. You’re an Expert. Word Spew or Ask Not.From those titles, is there anything that jumps out and you say, I want to play that game? Darcy, you pick. Word spew. Word spew. Okay. All right. So I’m going to give you guys each an identity. Okay. And you need to respond to random words as if you are that person. For example, you’re a Benedictine monk and the word is calligraphy. Okay. How do you respond to that? just as an example. My hand is so tired. There you go. I somehow made the monk Jewish. Well, I don’t know. I think that would be, is there a Benedictine rabbi? I don’t think so. Maybe. I think the Benedictine part kind of called this a quill. Yeah. So Darcy, you’re a fishmonger and Todd. Okay.You are a washing machine repairman. Beautiful. Awesome. All right. And I’m going to generate some random words here. Okay. Random word generator. And we’re going to answer from the point of view of Darcy. What did I say? I’m a fishmonger. You’re a fishmonger. By the way, he’s from the east coast of Canada, so this is right up his street. Oh, well, then. Most kids have paper roots, not our Darcy. God cheeks. God cheeks. Todd, you’re a? A washing machine repairman. All right, Darcy. Catapult. Ice fresh. The improv stylings of Darcy Firener. Todd. Yes. Resonance. Resonance. See right here, there’s your problem. Right here. Your washing machine is tuned into the key of D. There’s the problem. Because if I take the C tuning fork, you hear that? That’s resonance. That’s no good. That’s why your colors are bleeding.All right. Darcy, marmalade. I told you it’s fresh. It’s nice to see Darcy really put his back into this. Just came in going, whatever he throws at us, I am ready to participate. All right, Todd. Glimmer. Glimmer? Yeah, glimmer. Glimmer. Glimmer. See, there’s your problem right there. That’s why your console, you can’t read it because you’ve got to buff that down to a shine. This is part of your regular maintenance. You put in the Javics. You do the tub clean. You make sure that it air dries. You’ve got to use that little hose at the bottom. You’ve got to wipe that console down using dish soap. Don’t use anything abrasive. A nice clean microfiber cloth. Make that glimmer like a son of a bitch. Oh, there you go. He got it in.I was wondering for a moment. I’m like, okay, where’s this going? A lot of people say that about me. Darcy, Sparrow. Now you may think that’s fresh, but… Come to think of it, yeah, it’s fresh. It’s fresh. Oh, okay. It’s fresh. I wish we were on stage at Second City right now because it would be the first time that one of the participants punched one of the other participants. Was that in the scene? He kicked him, like, right in the balls. That was… All right, Todd. Thistle. Thistle. Sorry, thistle? Thistle. Thistle. Like the plant. Yeah, like a plant. Well, here’s your problem right here. This is why you’re not getting spin here. I don’t know what Highland Games you went to. What were your kilts and your gellies and those socks with the little sashes there? Someone brought home a thistle. It’s jamming it right up in there. Jamming it right up there is your problem. Right. Also, it’s really fresh. I forgot to tell you how fresh it was in there. A nice fresh thistle. Who’s been hiking?So Darcy, last one, Nebula. Am I having a stroke? If you need it, I can put it on the screen for you. Like Password or something. Oh, yeah. Nebula. Password, dude. I tell you, the Nebula. Always nice. Always fresh. Always fresh. There you go. Oh, honestly, I always sit on your chest and just feed you. All right, Todd. Last one for you. I think a lot of the good ones are gone. Bicycle. Bicycle. Bicycle. Okay, here’s your problem. This is your problem right here. I don’t know who thought it would be a good idea to dismantle a BMX and try them doing it. This is a washing machine. It’s for clothing. What are you thinking? What are you thinking? This is not for spokes. You don’t put chains and gears in your little banana seats. No, it’s for permanent press at worst. That is what we’re doing here. Who would do that? That’s your problem. And that’s what she said.Yeah, that’s what she said. Also, it’s very fresh. That’s okay. Fantastic. Thank you. Thank you. Very good, you guys. That was a great job there. I thought we were just going to get that as fresh from both of you, but I don’t think we’re going in that direction. Yeah, that’s how we do improv here in Canada. We’re going to do a game. It’s called Is It Fresh? Is It Fresh? Right. We’re in this game. We try and find the quickest and lamest route. Yeah. It’s fresh. It’s because it’s so darn cold. It’s always fresh. It is. It’s always cold. No oxygen gets to anything here. Nothing at all. So let’s see. Our next stop on this tour here, we’re supposed to chat a little bit. So what do you guys want to talk about? We talked about the…Niagara Falls. We talked about fishmongering, repairmen. A lot about home appliance repair and maintenance. Yeah. So let’s talk about, let’s get into, because the only way to have a good podcast these days is to talk about entrepreneurship. Oh, yes, of course. So let’s talk. What are your five-year plans for your entrepreneurial goals? Well, I can’t speak for Darcy, but the way I live my life, five years, that’s a distance. I don’t think that particular car is going to finish the Le Mans, if you know what I mean. You haven’t got five years in yet? I don’t know. Oh, my God. There’s a cat. The cat just knocked down. He’s wondering why that air conditioner is not on. Right. Goodness. Do you know what time of year it is? So that is from the Instagram. That is the Nunu. Oh, there you go. Actually, his name is Nacho, but his name used to be Nunu when he was a she. And yeah, I know nothing about cats. Right. Tell them about… Tell the people about how Nunu came into your life. Um…was dropped off, passed through the window of a car from somebody drove it all the way up from hamilton ontario told us it was a, was a girl named union uh was you know, was a stray, uh, non-chipped, healthy other one. You know, but was beating the shit out of her other cats. And, uh, so she had to get rid of it. So we took It ended well. For a while there, all these things were stacking up to be a negative. It’s not chipped. Don’t worry. It’s not chipped. Nobody’s tracking this cat. I can tell you that right now. This is all above board. We took it to the vet and said, yeah, you think this is a girl, huh? Let’s just have a look. Nope. That’s your problem right here.No, no, no. He doesn’t have a microchip. Doesn’t have a microchip. Well, we’ll just check, you know, just to pass the wand. Okay. So we should stop right now because this is somebody else’s cat. That’s no point in you paying for this exam. But then turns out the original owners let us keep. Oh, they didn’t want to, they didn’t want the cat either. Well, it was, it was passed around a bit. Um, and from, it eventually had, uh, it did, uh, escape at one point. So it was lost and was picked up. And, uh, but, um, yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, we love nacho. There’s the name of the album, how darcy got stuck with a cat. Yeah. And I will have zero jokes about that. Yeah, that’s right don’t even don’t even talk about it. Right. The, the,So no five-year plan for you with your entrepreneurial? Well, I’m hoping it doesn’t take me five. Oh, sorry, Darcy, go ahead. What’s your five-year plan? Todd said he doesn’t have a five-year plan. Well, I’m assuming it will take me less than five years to edit an album. Though who knows? Who knows? Yeah, five years is a long time. Mike Calci says, I’ve got odds against you. Yeah. Do you guys get all those things for Kalshi and all those betting, uh, apps? Oh man. No. Kalshi is the thing you can bet on anything. And there’s so many right now. Yeah. There’s so much sports betting. Yeah. Yeah. Up here as well. Yeah. Yeah. Really? Oh, yes. Yeah. It’s I don’t gamble. Um, but yeah, I think you are with that cat. It’s up. Yeah. You, you literally get messages up here. It’s like, do you have a gambling problem? Uh,We can help. This ad is sponsored by Bet365. We can help. Payday loans. Big-ass payout brings you, please help yourself. Help is just around the corner. Well, I’m glad to hear. Honestly, Todd’s entrepreneurial answer sounded like he did have a gambling problem. But no, I have a my teams don’t win problem. Oh, okay. That’s my problem. I have nothing to do. Here’s my thing. I enjoy I enjoy putting a bet on things because it juices up the stakes a little bit. Yeah. But the thing is, I don’t go crazy. Like I bet I bet one $5 bet. And it’s not on every game. Oh, just like in nine times out of 10. I’m like, Oh, fuck, I forgot the bet on And then I see the final score and go, ooh, dodged a bullet. But I will just put on five bucks and go, let’s see how this goes. And if I get like a nice bet booster where it’s like, you get it like an Ottawa Sanders win, Stutzel with a shot on goal and Kachuk with a goal. Pays out five bucks and I get a hundred. It’s like, let’s give that a shot. And maybe it’ll happen. Maybe it won’t. It’s just, I don’t care.I was like, do I have a problem? He’s like, no, because I forget to do it half the time. It’s the worst addiction to have when you go, oh, shit, I forgot to fuck myself up. I was going to say, you may have the answer to all this problem. It’s just forget. Just forget. Just have a very feeble mind. Your memory is the problem with your gambling problem. It’s a memory problem. It’s not anything else. Yeah. If you just forget, you’d be fine. That’s right. No big deal. because then you ask, you said, did i get hammered last night? Well, actually, no, you might have that’s where the drinking comes in. I drink and then i get to forget. And then i don’t right right you ever uh you ever you ever uh put something tasty on a game there bob uh no i’m not i’m not i’m i’m a horrible anti-gambler in a way i suppose i don’t like to gamble on anything. I was in las vegas this last year and uh with a bunch of people and,And yeah, everybody was like, oh, are you going to play? I didn’t even play a one-armed bandit. I was there for like a week. Yeah. I didn’t do anything. I was just like, no. I will. And this is how you can tell you don’t have a problem. Because again, I will forget. But you go down to Vegas and go, okay, as soon as I lose this $100, it’s done. I’m not going any further. And that’s it. If I’m playing poker with my friends… you know, which is kind of a nice night out. Go to someone’s house, you get a whole bunch of, like, you know, firehouse subs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You joke around. Three hours, you lose $80, and it’s like, I just spent an $80 cover charge just to hang out with my friends. Spent $80 on a stupid firehouse sub. Exactly. That’s, you know… Have you had one of those, Bob? I have, yeah. They give money to firemen or something. Yeah, they do. And the meatballs are just, come on. Yeah, yeah. They’re like…They’re like, we are not going to give any of our money to firemen, but we’ll certainly give your money to firemen all day long. They’re really just a conduit. Yeah, yeah. We’re helping you out. We’re passing the boot, you know? Sorry. Well, guys, it’s been great having you here tonight. I’m sorry we had some technical problems earlier on. No, don’t worry about it. Everything seems to have worked out. And don’t forget to go… Check them out here at Osho Pod, which I’ve already forgot what you said it was. Now I was going to say. Bob, you’ve been on it twice. I know. I’m in recovery for gambling. And so my memory is failing me because. So I should be clear about the title. Like when you’re looking for a title, not unlike comedy albums, it’s like, okay.I was looking for something that encapsulated kind of what it was. So the long form of the title is, okay, so here’s one, a podcast. Well, I was expecting the K. No, there’s not. Well, there isn’t like, oh, like, oh, K-A-Y. But it was brought to my attention. And this is like something I’ve never heard of where apparently there’s like some weird philosophy or cult that’s called Osho. Oh, really? Yeah, and a friend of mine who came on, and I’ll say again, actually, it was, it was like, so, are you okay? I was like, yeah, I’m fine. What’s Osho Pod? It’s like, okay, so here’s what it goes, oh. I was like, what? What is it goes, oh, I thought it was about this guy, and I looked that up and went, oh, mother. Again, the memory problem helps you avoid a cult. You’re lucky. I mean, our last podcast, Comedy Above the Pub,The great acronym, Cat P. Cat P. Yeah. That’s good. We’re not good at this, Darcy. We’re not. No wonder you can’t come up with a name for your third. No, no. Tom and Ellen is not good at this. And then the reviews will just write themselves. Proctology, that’s something? Who ever heard of that? Right. Don’t beat my bippy. Todd Van Allen, proctology. Just looking for a catchphrase. Maybe it’s in there. I thought it was the guy who helped everybody take tests. Yes. Beautiful. Thank you for being here tonight. We’re going to get played out here by… Gary Lyman, The Flea Tones. And you guys hang on here for just a minute, and we’ll see you all, the rest of you, whoever you are, next time. Thank you.