 |
Static RadioAuthor: Bob LeMent
The strange and humorous happenings in the lives of two US Midwesterners. Language: en-us Genres: Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
Listen Now...
LeMent Tonight for April 23, 2026
Episode 3
Friday, 24 April, 2026
This Week Durante shares insights into her unique transition from law enforcement to stand-up comedy, noting how her experiences on the force provided a foundation for her observational humor. She also discusses the logistical realities of her time in narcotics, reflecting on the team-based nature of the work and the socioeconomic challenges of the Bronx. Beyond her career path, the dialogue veers into a freewheeling discussion covering topics ranging from the urban planning legacy of Robert Moses to contemporary politics and the history of comedy. Durante expresses skepticism toward public figures like Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and shares anecdotes about navigating the competitive New York comedy scene, including her development of a potential sitcom project inspired by her life experiences. https://youtube.com/live/wjrNOPHSYyo Bad AI Transcript LeMent Tonight. How’s everybody doing? I can’t believe we’re already in April. Can you? Anybody? We’re almost in the end of April. It’s almost May. I can’t believe it, but we’re so glad to have tonight’s guest. Michelle Durante. How are you doing? I’m actually very good. I’m good. Very good. Very good. Yeah. That’s fantastic. Yeah, we were having a little chat talking about some tips to rip off Instacart. Yeah. I think that’s what I’m going to call this one. Tips to get massive downloads because of it, right? Yeah, how to rip off Instacart. 101 ways to rip off Instacart. Without screwing the driver. Yeah, exactly. Without screwing Instacart, but not the little people. Yeah, yeah. So now, do you know who Jimmy Durante is? Yep. Oh, okay, because I’m sure you get that a lot, right? I used to get it a lot more. Well, yeah, he’s old and dead now. Yeah, yeah, they’re dying out. You know what I’m saying? Now the only thing I can say is he played Frosty on the cartoon. That’s right, yeah.Yeah. Any kind of achacha. That was my achacha. That was the Jimmy Durante thing. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that’s frosty. You couldn’t believe it. Yeah. Yeah, that’s like the saddest Christmas cartoon. Yeah. I mean, it still plays, so… I know. People know him, but they don’t know him. One of those kind of things, right? Yep. Yeah. So… Let me give you a little introduction here. I know we just ran right into it, but Michelle Durante is a professional comedian, former New York Police Department detective. I better watch myself here. Who transitioned from a career in law enforcement to the stage. After graduating from the School of Visual Arts in New York City and serving as a detective in the South Bronx, she pursued her interest in stand-up comedy by attending Stand-Up University on Long Island. Wow.Her comedy is noted for its edgy observational style, which draws heavily upon her unique perspectives that she gained while on the force. Yep, on the job. Now, come on. So, I mean, were you out on the street every day busting people? What was it like being a detective in New York? I worked in narcotics, so we were out every… Single day, except when we all had court. We’d have a court day. Yeah. Because the days would line up that we’d all, we’d have to go to court. So we’d all have, we’d all have a court day. You know what I mean? But yeah, we were out there. Yeah. Oh yeah. Was it tough? I mean, that sounds horrible, honestly. It wasn’t, you know, it wasn’t horrible. I mean, you know, I worked with very good people and I, and we had a lot of fun. You know, the people that we locked up,For the most part, you know, they were like the hand-to-hand. You know, they were never the kilo king or queens, you know? Yeah. You know, and I remember we locked up this one guy. I locked up this one guy, two white guys, and they had a Honda, a small Honda. And I remember they came out of a building. You know, they didn’t make a, they blew a red light or whatever. And we stopped them. We had the uniformed guys stop them. And so, you know, we’re talking to these guys. They were from Accord, New York. And it turned out the guy had 200 bundles of heroin on him. Oh, my Lord. I remember bringing him in the back. And I said, bro, listen, this is a class A felony. This is like a murder. So I don’t know if you want to help yourself out. He goes, no, I’ll just take the hit. I go, okay, no problem, bro. I respect you for that. You know? So, I mean, there was things like that, that, you know, I mean, yeah.you know, you’re not like you weren’t there to, to, uh, you know, ruin their lives, so to speak. They were already out there doing it to them. Right. Yeah. They kind of already started that process. Right. Yeah. And you know, the guy, and we never really, you know, like the guys that would like take, they had one Sergeant that was big on taking like the guys for possession, you know, and you don’t want to go with a heroin addict through withdrawal through central booking. Cause I’m going to be with this guy for the next eight hours. Right. You know? So, like, we used to let him sniff his dope, and then he’d hand the bag, and then we’d lock him up, you know, for possession that way, this way. You know? Because it’s like, he’s got to get his stuff, man. Wow. You know, that is very refreshing to hear. You know, you always see these things where it’s so harsh and everything, and here you are, you know,Trying to be as humane as possible, given the circumstance. Yep, and I worked in Bronx Narcotics from, I think, 1996 to, like, 2007. You know, I mean, I worked there, and honestly, that’s what happened. You know, that’s what used to happen. Nobody, you know, there’d be, like, incidents that, you know, like maybe… you know, somebody got shot or, you know, whatever. A perp got hurt or something like that. But it was never anything, you know, like, we were never on the news. Let’s put it that way. Oh, gotcha. It was all kind of just happened in day-to-day kind of stuff. Right. And plus it was the Bronx, and the Bronx is the most underserved community, you know, as far as housing. Like, it’ll never be gentrified.I’m very surprised it ever gets gentrified and nor should it be because they should be affordable housing and it shouldn’t be just garbage housing. Right. You know, and unfortunately the Bronx was one of those neighborhoods that was like basically disassociated and disregarded because Robert Moses built the cross Bronx expressway right through it and just tore up neighborhoods. Right. Yeah. There’s a fascinating doc. It’s weird. segue but fascinating documentary on, on how the boroughs yeah got divided by all the roadways and the subway and so forth. Yeah. There’s a book i i forget the name of it about robert moses it’s like it’s like this i have it over on my bookshelf over here. I have to get the name of it, but, um, yeah, he did a lot of that. Like, that’s why there was no, you know, like the parkways were just made. because if you know people from the city, they don’t have cars, you know, it’s stupid.Right, that’s right. What are you going to do with it, right? It’s just a big burden. Right, and, you know, whatever, you know, that’s how he did it. Yeah, I think, yeah, he got carte blanche to do whatever he wanted, and so he’s just like, okay, we’re going through here, boom. He actually, in the book, it says, like, he actually, you know, then he got all these different positions, because he would, like, finagle his way in, like, see, I did this, but unfortunately… I live on Long Island and right now the Robert Moses Causeway that takes you to the bridge, to the beach is like last year. I remember me and my niece were driving and I’m like, well, I don’t know about this. And like two weeks later, like pieces, some guy was out there on the great South Bay boating and he sees pieces of the bridge coming down, coming off of it. No, no, it’s okay. And then, but now they’re fixing it. So it’s like, you know, that thing is ancient, that bridge. We got to get some spackle out here.You got to get something out there. You know who’s working on that bridge. It’s all the blacks and Hispanics that are working on it. All the people that he prejudiced against. Yeah. Well, that was part of the thing was he would cut neighborhoods because of their racial makeup. Oh, yeah. He was huge. Like even like when you see how when like the housing, especially in New York City, the housing projects, the way they’re built, they’re built like like very industrial, almost like they’re brick buildings with like large iron gates around them, you know, and there’s like, they’re not, but they’re not very like, they’re not inviting you know what I’m saying? Like, it’s, it’s just the way it is and they get and they actually have a controversy about one of the, one of the housing projects is so bad that they want to, the tenants want to actually buy it. Yeah. And make it like they’re, you know, or at least manage it themselves yeahBecause, you know, it really is like it’s a shame because like, you know, they were made for people like, you know, low income. But like, it doesn’t mean, you know, you have to let like they just are unbelievable. Right. Yeah. I worked with a team that we were undercover in the housing projects. We would have undercovers that actually like lived in the housing projects. Wow. And that’s deep. they moved in, you know, they would set up the apartment with like pictures. And the only two people that knew was like the police commissioner and the person in charge of who gets the apartment. Cause they had to move them up on the rent list, like the housing list. Right. Right. Yeah. And then we would just do them in there and we were, you know, and it was amazing cause we would be in the Bronx and like, okay, you know, you do the takedown at three o’clock in the morning and you know,bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, no media coverage or anything. And, you know, because you don’t want them to be able to notify their friends. That’s right. You don’t want word to get out. And so funny is like, I might have this guy. This is my subject. I see him. And then you see Mikey, that subject. Oh, shit. They got you, too. You know, the other guys come out because they were arrest warrants. You’re allowed to knock on the door and get them. Right. So we would like sit and start so early that we would see them coming back from like the social club. So we would grab them off the street. And what would happen is if you knocked on that door and the mother said, no, he’s not here, he’s not here. You said, listen, he’s facing a felony. You can lose the place. Right, right. That was the thing, you know. You know, you have to write your son out or you’re going to not have a place to live. Just stuff like that. We know he’s here. We watched him walk in.Yeah. Yeah. You know, but I mean, I mean, it was crazy and stuff. And but, you know, I was lucky enough that I work with a great bunch of people that, you know, we would have a lot of fun before we went out, you know. And then when we went out, like when you went for training, the thing they said is you want to, you know, like you want to come home at the end of the day. Right. Right. You know, everybody comes back, you know. That’s how it is. The most important thing. Especially in narcotics. When I was in patrol, you had a partner. But in narcotics, it was a team concept. It was the module concept. So you did everything with these people. We were all in little different teams. So for Willie Hayes, I was with this guy for 15, however many years. You know what I’m saying? Sometimes the teams, somebody would leave or you’d switch a team. But for the most part, you’re with these guys every single day.you’re doing overtime with them. You’re out of detail with them. You know what I mean? So it’s like almost like it is like a family, you know? Well, yeah. I mean, it’s a life or death situation sometimes. Yeah. But like we would just have so much fun before, you know, we would go out. It’s like one of the undercovers would be doing his bills and he’d be like, because, you know, you’d have no money left. Right. They’d be like, The other guy would be like, come on, let’s go, let’s go. And so everybody’s getting ready. And one day, this one guy and this other guy, the two detectives are going at it. And the one guy, the undercover, took his little receiver off and he threw it, right? And the other guy goes, that’s smart, real smart, because now we can’t hear you, you stupid fuck. And the other guy threw the can of garbage on him. It was so funny. Here we go. Yeah.Yeah, it was just funny. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Well, we’re going to transition here, and we’re going to talk more about comedy. So hold on just a second. I think Gary, my band leader, is going to play something here real quick. One, two, three, four. Don’t do that! A little fast tempo there, Gary, but very good, uh, selection there. I don’t know. That’s a good one. So you, you, you were working as a cop. Now, did you do your, uh, comedy university after you, uh, retired from being the cop or were you doing that in the same time? No, I, I had absolutely no time to do it. Yeah. And, uh, And, you know, I was too busy working, you know? Sure. And so, but when I retired, I remember I went to like a comedy show and there was this guy on it and he was pretty funny. It’s like a local comic. And years ago, I went to the local comedy club and I’m talking like over 30 something years ago, the local comedy club out here, Governors. And we went on like a new talent night and we sat there, it was like seven o’clock at night. We were there till like midnight. I mean, these guys were funny.And little did I know that I was watching, like, legends being made, like Joey Cola and, you know, all these guys that later, like, he’s a warm-up comic for the Drew Barrymore show. He’s, like, a local legend. You know, all comics know him. But I didn’t know I’m watching these people. You know what I’m saying? Yeah, no, it’s wild. Well, you’re in the heart of things there. Yeah, that was the 80s, like, early 80s. And so that was, like, a pretty hot time. so i had seen a local comedy show, like, after i had retired. I’m like, oh, wow, I want to see if i could do this and i googled like uh stand-up comedy. And then the first one that popped up was stand-up university so i took that one. And I became really good friends with one of the instructors peter bales and um he was the one who, when he saw that, he goes, you know, I think that you could probably do this so with let’s work on this and like all right.And he was the one that said, no comedy club in the world is looking for comedians. I’m just going to let you know that. That’s right. And I go, no, OK. So you really have to. And it’s ironic because like two or three years ago, I remember I reluctantly sent my tape into the New York Comedy Club. And I remember I met the booker. And the first thing she said to a group of us was, I’m just going to let you know that no comedy club in the world is looking for comedians. I want them in the right place. I trust this woman. And I got passed there. And, you know, I’m very grateful for that because they aren’t. It’s the truth. You know, it really is. And it’s not just in New York. It’s all over. Right. Because everybody wants to be a comedian, right? And they have guys. Yeah, like even if you’re like in the Midwest or something, a lot of these guys go on the road. And you go on the road and it’s like…It’s good and stuff like that, but you have local guys there that are good too. Like North Carolina, I go to that comedy festival. I have a great time. It’s like camp. It’s the best time in the world. It’s kind of a hard turn there going from narcotics officer to being a stand-up comedian. Obviously, you have the camaraderie that you talked about, but it’s kind of a different world, don’t you think? It can be, but I look at it the same way. Like whenever I’m hosting and if I’m hosting out here, usually all the comics are there at the start, like all of them, because it’s a suburban area. So it’s not like they, like in the city, usually they’re going from one club to another club to another club to do different spots. So they come in and they leave right away. And I always say like the same thing, like, listen, um,you know, we’re not filming a documentary. We’re just trying to, we used to say the same thing. We’re just trying to, you know, everybody’s going to have a good time. We’re going to have some fun. And that’s that, you know? And like, if everybody would like, you just, you know, I’ve had, I’ve been in the position where you’re like, you know, you, you go up and the comic in front of you is terrible. I mean, absolutely terrible. And then you have to go up and bring the energy up. You know what I’m saying? And it’s like, now it’s not so bad because I know I can do it. But especially when you knew you’re like, oh, You know, and but what happens is like, like if they would just understand, like how to maybe perhaps write a joke or, you know, how to be funny. It’s like the energy of the last comic. Like I would do check spots at the New York Comedy Club for like Chris DiStefano. I go on after him when they drop in the checks and the.it was like riding the energy though. Like they actually were paying attention, you know, you think that, but then I’ve had, you know, shows where they, you know, they just want to get out of there. And I just have to say the quicker you pay check, the quicker you can leave, you know, but like, but you know what I’m saying? So like, if everybody really like sometimes there’s comedians and especially when it’s like, like those bringer shows or stuff, there’s comedians. It’s like, they’re almost trying to be funnier than the next instead of just trying to be funny. Right, yeah. The competition. Yeah, and if you just didn’t do that, if you just would stay in your lane, so to speak, you learn how to be funny. Right, yeah. If you relax and just lean into it a little bit, it all works out better, right? Yeah, like you could see how… I remember I would go, when I first started, I would go to like three open mics a week, a day, for like five days a week. And on the sixth day, I would go to one, right? And…And I was like, oh, and then my buddy, you know, my mentor, Peter Bales, he’s like, listen, you want to ease up a little bit. You don’t want to turn into an open mic comic. And that’s what I see a lot of times, like a lot of these shows, like, you know, they’ll talk about like, you know, like an open mic at a show. And it’s like, dude, no, you know, you know what I mean? Tell a joke about something. Right. Don’t talk about what we’re doing. Right. Like you’re supposed to or like they’ll riff off somebody and they, they don’t know how to really do it, you know? And then they just, or they like this one guy, I’ll never forget. I was at governor’s and i said, okay, dude, you’re doing, um, 10 minutes. And I could see on his face. He was like, and i go, bro, don’t worry about it. I said, I’m just gonna tell the next comic. He’s up after you. And then i’m gonna be right in the room. Whenever you’re ready to go, I’ll be right there. So if you want to jump early, I’m there. It’s no big deal. You know what i mean? Like, yeah.It’s not, you know, we’re not at, you know, we’re at like a regular show. Right. Especially on a Saturday night, you know, they’re sticking to their time. They have to stick to the time, you know. So how long would you say between going to the university experience and then going out and doing shows, how much time did it take you to kind of get you know, into things in a rhythm for yourself. I’ve been doing this for like almost like 17 years, almost 18. Holy moly. Yeah, it took me like 15. I remember because, you know, especially in the beginning, like there’s a lot of clubs out, especially in New York, that during the week they run self-produced shows. So it’s like who, so you never know who the booker is.Right. You know, and then you have to bring six people. And, you know like comics on there, I’m not bringing six of my friends to this, you know i’ll bring them to a bar show that i know the other comics you know what i mean? Like, oh, this guy’s good, this guy’s good. Oh, okay, yeah, we’ll do that, you know? Right, yeah. so You don’t want to torture your friends. Yeah, you don’t want them to see bad comedy, you know that’s not the point. and So I never so it was always like that, you know, and I would just do my mics and stuff. And then I would get some spots out here on Long Island. And then maybe about like three, three or four years ago, my buddy, Peter Bale said, Hey, listen, what, you know, James need, I think you might, James can use some comics. Right. There you go. Oh, you got, I went in on Thursday night. It was a fundraiser.And I was nervous. And James and I know James and his wife. I’ve known them since I started doing comedy. And James actually was one of the only owners. Like he sat there and he watched. And after he’s like, you know, I don’t know nothing about comedy, but every one of them is true. Every one of them hit on you. Every one of them hits. You know, he’s like the best guy. And he really is. He’s a really nice guy. So, you know, so but I didn’t do like bringer shows because I was told early on. I remember sitting there. I had a show one time, and it was on February. And my spot was at who knows when it was, but the show started at 9. And they invited me to do the show. But then this guy kept calling me up saying, you could bring your friends. And I’m like, yeah, I know. I’m advertising it, right? And it was miserable. I didn’t even want to go in. And I remember Googling the club and seeing the comics that were passed. And there was this one comic that all he does is run bringer shows. Mm-hmm.past there. And I’m like, you know what? And I remember I went in and I said to the guy that invited me, bro, if you would have told me it was a bringer show, I wouldn’t have, I would have told you, you know, you, I, I don’t need to do the spot. You might want to give it to somebody else, you know? Right. Yeah. I was like second to last and I didn’t, you know, whatever, it was fine, you know, but you know, you do, you have to do, you know, So I did what I had to do. I did a lot of bar shows, and I met a lot of comics that I knew. Like a lot of these comics were blowing up when I started, like Chris DiStefano and Emma Wellman and all those, like Mark Norman. So I would see them at Mike’s, you know. And the work ethic with them is still the same, and I guess that’s what most of the people I hung out with. You just went from Mike to Mike to Mike to Mike to Mike. You got to do, right? You got to keep doing. Yeah. Yeah.So are you going to do anything? I mean, you’ve done this for a while. Is there anything else on the horizon for you? I mean… I’m trying to write a sitcom, basically. Are you? Yeah. Well, that’s great. You want to talk about it or is it a secret? We can talk about it. All right. Now I babysit my niece’s three children. And I write a lot of jokes about them because… I’m babysitting them. And I mean, they have, they write themselves. Right. It’s the kids. Kids are funny. And they are hysterical. And like just watching the way they interact, you know? And I remember I started a few years ago and then I, I ripped it out. It sucks. And then I was talking to the, a lot of times when I’m at like New York comedy club, I was like, they’ll, they’ll say something.And I go, oh, my God, it reminds me of the time. And I’ll tell them a story about, like, when I was a cop, like, you know. And then when we did this, and they left, and one of the comics, it was like, did you ever, you know, did you ever do a one-woman show or something? I’m like, no, I never did that. You really should think about it. So I was talking to the booker at the club, and she’s like, we’re figuring it out. Like, she goes, send me some stuff, and we’ll think. So I was trying to make it, like, so, like, I would have, like, flashbacks of like what i did, you know what i mean? Yeah. You know, stuff like that. I’m making cookies today for these kids, but what back then i was cracking skulls and taking names. Yeah. Like, yeah. Like, you know, like when there’s a conflict or something. And then i i like spice that up a little bit. You know, I have, um, there’s two comedians out here that i really like that. Uh, they do these videos all the time and but they’re just nice guys. And like, I want them in becauseyou know, they’re funny guys and they would know how to, how to, you know, how to do it. You know what I’m saying? Like basically I didn’t, I wouldn’t have to write anything. Here’s your guidelines. Just. Right. Yeah. Run with it. You know how to make it work like that. Like, yeah, almost like a, I think what’s his name did that Larry David. Right. Yeah. The Kirby enthusiasm. Exactly. It was an outline. And then people, um, Yeah, I never… All the players would kind of run with the different pieces, unless it was a plot point, I guess. They had to get the plot points in, but yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like, they probably just… Like, would make it around that. And it’s interesting, because I never really watched the show. And now when I watch it, like, I see, you know… Like, last… You know, like, I see how it is more… It’s not as structured. No, yeah. Well, you can… If you really…you can kind of like, uh, uh, Bob Einstein, uh, was on there. Right. And, and you can tell when he throws a curve ball and then they’re all reacting to something because he’s such, he’s kind of an out there kind of guy or he was, I’m God rest his soul. He passed away, but he would throw some kind of curve ball line out there and they’d all go, what? You know, and they’re all trying to catch up. Uh, and it’s funny. Or yeah, we’ll do my Jeff Garlin. What? Why? That’s Jeff Garlin. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I’ll even watch shows like I was watching The Office. So there’s different little things. We’ll see what happens with it. That would be pretty cool. That’s great. Like I was saying, I said to the booker that’s helping me, I said, oh, you know, and I have this one for blah, blah, blah, because she’s the one that, you know. And I said, I have everybody planned out.I said fitness is what we all eat. If it gets successful, everybody eats. There you go. Do you have a title or working title? No, nothing like that yet. It’s funny too because last week I was babysitting Eliana. She’s four. She was on her bicycle, I think. My other niece’s husband, John, came over and he took the longboard skateboard and he was on the skateboard and they live like at a like a little cul-de-sac and the neighbor on the end um like two years ago I was walking the dog and there’s a sewer grate there and so Louie peed down the sewer and the guy came out like don’t walk your dog on my property and I’m like I’m not walking on your property this is the sewer and so what he did is he built this whole thing over the sewer so it’s like his property oh jeezAnd so he’s always been a dick and stuff. So then last week, what he did is he backed his car out and he parked on the curve part. So we couldn’t go down to the end. And. Oh my gosh. So I was like, Oh, I have another arc. Bad neighbor, a bad neighbor, you know, bad neighbor. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, like, Oh, what are we going to do? What, you know, how should we handle this? And like, I have like my two buddies that are like, you know, one’s like kind of like a weed dealer and the other guy’s, you know, a cool Italian guy. And then we just like, they’re like, why don’t we do this? And we’re thinking, I’m like, no, no, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. People are weird. Right. So yeah, that’s the wild thing that they would, he would go to all that trouble for nothing essentially. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? What are you getting out of this? Nothing.Yeah, exactly. Just being a jerk. Yeah. Gary’s going to play a little bit of his song here, and we’re going to come back and play a little game. Oh, cool beans. Thank you, Gary. That was very nice. I think that was scorpions or something. You are a great asshole. I know, Gary. He’s such a jerk. He’s like the guy who lives on your street there, the cul-de-sac. Oh, my gosh. So we talked a little bit earlier whenever we set this up, and I have these little kind of improvisational things. And the one that you chose was called The World Gone Mad. Oh, yeah. Crazy happenings in the world today. Now, is there a crazy happening in the world today that you want to talk about? Or do you want me to just bring one up? I’ll just kind of randomly bring one up. You can bring one up because, I mean, there’s so many. I didn’t know if there was something like you thought whenever you saw that. You’re like, oh, I got something to talk about.I’m trying to think. You know what was really funny? A lot of times I just have CNN on in the back, right? I like watching the situation on Wolf Blitzer. He’s a Buffalo Bills fan. He’s a Buffalo Sabres fan. So that guy’s my favorite. So I’ll have the stuff on in the background or whatever. And I’m not really paying attention to it. But yesterday they had Robert Kennedy on. Oh, gosh, yeah. Robert Kennedy. Yeah. And, like, first of all, it’s like, please, your voice is annoying me. And second, if anybody, like, a regular person had that situation, that affliction, I would be like, oh, cool, totally fine, I understand. But he just annoys the shit out of me. And, like, he made some, and I’m horrible at math, but he’s trying to, like, say, like, the health care costs, it’s, like, 600% cheaper. It’s like, that’s negative free. Right.and then negative three. And then, like We all get three dollars when we go to the doctor yeah and then he was like, all these senators, like, maybe if you if you weren’t posing in pictures with your shirt off and and sitting in saunas with jeans on, like, he just is the most disgusting thing possible I feel bad for his wife because her career is just… That’s a loop back to Curb Your Enthusiasm. That’s Cheryl. She played Cheryl in Curb Your Enthusiasm. I know. And I was just actually thinking about this earlier today because they were in the news. He was in the news about… What was he talking about this time? Anyway, he was in the… RFK was in the news talking about some shit. So anyway, I was thinking, oh gosh, because Ted Danson and Larry David are very…liberal people. I’m like, oh boy, Cheryl, she tanked it right there. She’s never going back to anything. He doesn’t talk to her anymore. She was Ted Danson’s nanny. Really? Yeah, originally. She’s funny on the show. That’s how they things got started anyway. She was working for Ted Danson, uh, as a nanny or something a long time ago. And, uh, that’s how all that, but now I’m like, oh my gosh, this RFK thing is really tanked her career. But yeah, you’re right. The guy, it’s just, it’s weird. Oh, I know what it was. It was the fact that he, he was with him cause he’s been married a couple of times, I guess. But anyway, he stopped, uh, and cut the penis off of raccoon. That was a roadkill. Did you read that story? Yeah. And he also, he found a bear.Did he cut the penis off a bear? He found a bear on the side of the road in upstate New York. He drove it down to Manhattan and then he dumped it in Central Park. I remember when people found it. What the fuck is a bear doing here? They had a picture of him on a plane and he was barefoot. I don’t care how clean. I don’t care if it’s a private jet, bro. Unless you’re like the guy from Shark Tank, the handsome guy. I don’t trust him at all. It’s just such trash. He was barefoot on the… Well, I guess that’d make you take your shoes off, but you’re supposed to put them back on. And then he… No, this was on the plane itself. Like, he was walking up the aisle. Oh, okay. That’s weird. Yeah. I wouldn’t want to do that anyway because, I mean… It’s cold. I mean…They got sharp spots on them and stuff on those stupid seats because they scrunch them all together so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I said, I don’t care. Even if you ever see those private jets or something, they’re not as big as a plane. No. They’re giving up something so you can have the table and some safety precaution that they’re leaving out so you can have that extra liquor cabinet on board. Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. There’s only so much weight can go on the plane. Or the seat recline, so you can, you know, do something unspeakable to the lady passengers on your plane. Uh-oh. You talking about Lolita Express or something there? Yeah, yeah, like the Lolita Express. Is he in the Epstein file? I’ve never heard his name mentioned. He’s probably too sleazy. Froggy from the Little Rascals is on thelolita express there. I don’t know if you’re froggy but anyway, the, uh, but yeah, I mean, it’s just so weird. It’s just such a weird and he has no weird times yeah he has no medical background. Like if Dr. Oz was that position, it’s a little different because he was a heart surgeon. He put in some time, right? Yeah, he legitimately did med school. You know what I’m saying? And he was actually a pretty successful heart surgeon, too. So he worked at… Okay, this is his qualification. I’ve been to the doctor my whole life. He was a heroin addict. That’s the closest he came to medical care. You know, he was. You know, and he went into rehab and stuff like that. I was involved in pharmaceuticals as a young man. Yeah, so, you know. And, you know, he’s just like so… I always hated it.when guys would go to the gym and work out in their jeans. Mm-hmm. Like, sometimes we would do that, like, at work, if, like, if you were, like, you know, you had to run out or something, and you were just going to get dirty anyway. But most of us, like, we’d have another change of clothes. Right. But, like, that is just so disgusting because it’s, like, you’re not going out and, like, locking up perps. Like, we’re stinky. We’re going to get stinky. Right. You’re going to go on, like, you have to go meet people. Like, how gross is that? You know, how gross are those dreams? That’s true. Oh, my gosh. RFK’s personal hygiene. Yeah, his father’s probably rolling over in his grave. Probably a lot of Kennedys are. Yeah, like Jesus. We just banged Marilyn Monroe, but for Christ’s sake. Yeah.He doesn’t have the accent like Teddy and JFK did. No, they were from, like, yeah. They actually lived in… What was I going to say about JFK? Oh, the good thing, the thing that should happen is, RFK Jr. should fly, like, over the Atlantic in a plane. Because his uncle… You know, got tragically killed during World War II, flying over the whatever. And then Teddy, he drove right into the water with that poor young woman. The Kennedys and water don’t mix. You know what I’m saying? JFK Jr. Right in the water. The dyslexic fuck was too arrogant. You know, he can’t even read properly because he was dyslexic. How are you going to read it? a fucking instrument panel. I think he was fine. 600% less. Yeah, he didn’t have any… I think legitimately the plane that he was flying didn’t have instruments. Right, he was an instrument rated. He had to fly with instruments, I think, because of the weather. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, you know, remember when they went skiing and one of them got killed when they were skiing because they were throwing the football around? Oh, yeah.And the steepers kept saying, stop doing that, stop doing that. And they didn’t stop, and look what happened. You know what I mean? That’s what happens. That’s what happens. That’s what happens, whatever. It’s frozen water or fresh water or ocean water. It doesn’t matter. Kennedy’s and water. The Kennedys and water don’t mix, man. They don’t mix. That’s because they made their fortune in whiskey. And somebody told me, and I’ve believed this for years, that… they imposed, they still collect like a dollar on every tax of the whiskey that’s sold in the United States. But they did for like a long time. I think they did from like the 20s until like, who knows? I’ve delved so far into the Kennedys, I cannot stand them. I felt bad for John F. Kennedy because he was put in the position like run for president. He’s like, all right, you know,You know what I’m saying? Yeah. Yeah, I felt bad for him, but his father was such a piece of shit. He was banging all these broads, and then the wife found out that he liked one of the nurses, and so she fired him and got the cousin there when he had a stroke and he couldn’t talk. She was like a tough Irish woman, man. She don’t care. Yeah. Yeah. She got her revenge back. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. RFK is in the news. That’s for sure. Yeah. I don’t even know where all this is going. That’s the crazy thing. Are we going to look back on this and go, what the hell are we thinking? I mean, you know. I know. I know. I didn’t understand that. I don’t understand that whole prescription plan thing. Because when I first heard it from that other guy’s mouth, it was like, and it’s going to be 600% cheaper. And I remember like, wait, you know.that was not about to happen. Well, yeah, that’s uh like a real estate mogul go figure yeah interesting yeah well michelle if are you going to be anywhere where folks can catch you or do you want to, Promote anything? I should have asked you that earlier. I usually am at the New York Comedy Club. I usually do like the 530 or the 545 show, depending on Saturdays. This Saturday I’m off. So hopefully I’ll be there next week. There you go. Yeah, usually like every Saturday, every other Saturday, stuff like that. So hopefully that’s where you can usually see me. And watch for the new sitcom on Mubi. Yeah. It’s called Behind Bars. We’re going to put it. You know what? There was a club. I’ll never forget this. When I first started doing comedy, there was three comedy clubs out here, all owned by three different people. And then the one guy sold the one all the way out in Suffolk County. And so the guy owned the one in Suffolk and the one in Levittown. There was a guy in Belmore, and he finally sold it. So now the owner’s owned all three locations. Oh, wow.William Belmore, the guy that used to run, he used to own the brokerage. He opened a bar down the block called Behind Bars. And then they used to do comedy there and direct competition with, you know, with the, you know what I’m saying? They had this thing like, well, if you go there, then you can’t go in. You can’t be at. Everybody got territorial. But it was okay because, you know, governors want, they want comics. Right. You know what i’m saying? Like, you know, if you want to do that, go ahead. You got to pick your poison. Like they’ll have a thing. They, they do have a thing. Like if you’re on a private show or something, don’t expect to be booked there. If you’re going to be advertising that all over, you know what i mean right right exactly because i want to have some some exclusivity i supposeYeah, because then the other thing too is, like I said, there’s three comedy clubs out here, and they’re all good clubs. They have great comedians. They have great shows and stuff, especially on the weekend. So, I mean, it’s available to them. You know what I’m saying? Yeah, I hear you. Some people feel a little intimidated maybe walking into a comedy club so they have the shows at the restaurant or something. Right. You know what I mean? Like they might feel like, oh, I don’t want to come because I might get picked on, you know, something like that. I can’t sit up front. Yeah. Got a giant head. Everybody will pick on me. Yeah. Yeah. Which is probably true. You know, like, oh, is it Mardi Gras? Like one thing I never do, though, is like say like and it happened this last week. There was one black couple in the entire audience. Mm hmm.And I would never point like, oh, like it’s funny if the black comic just looks at the black couple and goes, hey, I know how you feel. But you know what I’m saying? Right. I don’t tell a joke and then say, even the black guys laugh. You know, like they don’t want to get singled out. No. That would be terrible. Right. You know what I mean? It’s like saying, even the Asian guys laughing at that joke, you know? Oh, my goodness. Don Rickles now. Yeah. You know what? He was like, whatever, but the person I hate the most was Jerry Lewis. Oh, Jerry Lewis. Yeah. Well, when you see like the older tapes of how he was like his crowd work, he was like, like insulting his audience. Like, well, he was a very angry man. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, I read, I, and I can’t stand him enough that I had to listen to a podcast about him. I read a book about him and like, he didn’t, it’s like, he didn’t seem to understand that. Like,His stuff was really pioneered at that time. But technology changes. And then you have Star Wars. He didn’t like the fact that people’s genres were changing. Right, right. He got left behind. Yeah. But it happens to everybody. So Jerry Lewis, the RFK of comedy, is what you’re saying. I remember listening… I remember watching a show. It was like autopsy. And it was Jerry Lewis. And like, I would get so excited. Yeah, he’s got diabetes too. And you know what I found out too? I watched that show. Like a lot of these old time entertainers, like Jerry Lewis, for example. So they would drink orange juice all the time for the vitamin C. But meanwhile, like when you drink so much of it, Right. It’s like the sugar is, you know. Yeah, tremendous. Right. So, like, that’s why he, you know, and then he would suck on lollipops because after he had a heart attack, he didn’t want to smoke anymore. Right, yeah. All that sugar and stuff was like, you know, that really, he was better off smoking. Isn’t that the way it goes, right? Every time you try to replace one thing, the thing you replace it with is always worse than the thing you were doing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.That’s like these people, like, it makes me laugh. Like, they’re like, oh, I got this weed vape. Dude, just smoke the regular weed. Well, vape stuff is even horrible for you. Not even the weed aspect, just the vape aspect. You know, it’s one thing if you know how to make it. Like, there’s a way you can make it. But it’s like, dude, what’s wrong with you? You know what I mean? Like, you don’t even know. They’re, like, sucking on it all day. Right, exactly. Oh, my gosh. You know? That’s a whole other show talking about vaping. Yeah. The dangers of vaping versus just smoke something because you’re better off. Yeah. You’re way better off than the vaping. It’s so easy, even with the nicotine ones. Like the Jules, you know, they were just taking sips on them all day, hiding them in there. I’m having it in the sleeve. I’m a secret service agent. I watch the Jules.watch the Jewel documentary on the Jewels. Did you know Jewel is going to be 600% cheaper? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Picking this any Jewel and he’s telling you eat fatty meat and shit. Yeah. Okay, buddy. Well, Michelle, thanks for being my guest tonight. Everybody check her out. She’s well, she’s going to be on plausible again Sunday, right? Yeah. Yeah. And at New York Comedy Club, catch her around New York, Long Island. And she’s very funny and has great life experience. And now we know the truth is out. She’s not a fan of RFK. Or Jerry Lewis, by the way. Yeah. So, Gary, take us away.
