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AnachronismI create new music and share thoughts about how we can encounter musical art more richly in our digital times. Author: Gustav Hoyer, Composer
Music and contemplations from composer Gustav Hoyer. I share guided listening encounters to connect more deeply with my listeners. I help you hear the many layers of affect and technique that comprise my work. gustavhoyer.substack.com Language: en Genres: Arts, Music, Music Commentary, Performing Arts Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
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An Ugly Christmas Sweater
Wednesday, 24 December, 2025
Intro:It's Christmas morning, the presents all unwrappedThe paper's spread across the floor, the bank account is tappedThe little ones have disappeared to bedrooms full of playA Christmas Story's on TV, the 15th time todayBut Daddy's waited patiently, the real fun beginsThe gravy's cooking on the stove next to the muffin tinsI'm gonna grab my plate, and get into the lineI started early with a healthy glass of wineI'll walk up to the counter and start with something greenNevermind it's Jell-o from a big tureenChorus:I'm puttin' a hurt on Christmas dinnerBetween that roast and me, I think I'll be the winnerI've been in training every meal, since last springAnd now the time has come again to get back in the ring.From there I'll take some olives, a carrot stick or two,Some whole wheat biscuits and a pat of butter too.Up next, I'll grab the spoon then serve myself a plopof sweet potatoes, corn flakes toasted on the topChorusAnd now we're comin' to the prize, a steaming hot prime ribI made a bed to put it in, a mashed potato cribA liberal pour of gravy cross it's salty rindNo worries that it ends up on my fat behindChorusWe're runnin' out of onions, and the macaroni's goneThe countertop is empty by the coffee pot is onThe final round is startin' with three delicious pies.I guess I'll take a piece of each, don't wanna make my momma cry.ChorusDessert is gone, and all the plates are clean,But poor Aunt Clara drank too much and made a scene.And if, by chance, someone should need to come and search for me.You'll find me lying comatose, beneath the Christmas tree. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gustavhoyer.substack.com/subscribe
