 |
Hey White WomenAuthor: Daniella Mestyanek Young
In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca discuss their experiences with cults and the realization that white supremacy is a cult. They explore the stages of leaving a cult and the process of deconstructing white supremacy. They also discuss the concept of white privilege and the need for white people to deprogram from the myth of white supremacy. They highlight the importance of understanding and acknowledging racism and the role of white people in dismantling white supremacy. They also touch on the parallels between cult dynamics and societal systems. The conversation explores the importance of recognizing and dismantling white supremacy within oneself and society. It emphasizes the need for white women to actively engage in anti-racism work and challenge their own biases. Language: en Genres: Philosophy, Society & Culture Contact email: Get it Feed URL: Get it iTunes ID: Get it |
Listen Now...
Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 59 | In-Person Special Episode
Episode 59
Saturday, 29 November, 2025
In this in-person episode, Daniella and Rebecca dive deep into racial dynamics, whiteness, group behavior, cult patterns, and the ways white women, white culture, and American norms create invisible and often unexamined hierarchies. They explore how racism shows up in everyday interactions — such as being asked to "prove" a lived experience, being demanded to provide citations, or being treated as less credible unless a white source confirms it. They move through topics including camera/lens racism, anti-Blackness in beauty and hair culture, the Puritan roots of American "purity," the idea of similarity as a false form of connection, and how white women often misunderstand or mishandle attempts at cross-racial empathy. They also talk about identity, cult deconstruction, Taylor Swift and whiteness, the temptation of ideological "mind prisons," the curly-girl method as a purity system, and the dynamics of group belonging versus individuation. Across the conversation, Daniella and Rebecca reflect on how whiteness limits white women's joy, expression, and authenticity, while producing harm for people of color — and how unlearning these patterns can open space for true connection, curiosity, and accountability. Connect with Rebecca at: Website Patreon TikTok Connect with Daniella at: Daniella's Patreon TikTok Instagram Website Youtube KnittingCultLady Store Preorder for Culting of America: The Culting of America PRE-SALE (SHIPS BY JANUARY 20, 2026) – Knitting Cult Lady Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young From Bookshop.org Autographed UnAMERICAN Videobook KEY TAKEAWAYS Racism hides in the "prove it" dynamic, where Black people are asked for citations or validation from white authorities. Everything in America is built through racism, including technology like camera lenses. White women often mistake similarity for connection, interrupting, centering themselves, or offering misplaced comparisons. Curiosity without defensiveness is key — noticing when you feel surprised is a way to uncover unconscious bias. Whiteness is an identity of restriction, prioritizing purity, sameness, and surveillance over joy and self-expression. Puritanical roots still shape American norms, especially around control, conformity, and fear of deviation. Black people are treated as unreliable narrators until white sources verify their experience, a deeply racist credibility hierarchy. White women's racial harm often comes from entitlement, fragility, and assuming their intentions excuse impact. Similarity is a weak form of connection; listening and presence are stronger and more respectful. Group dynamics and cult dynamics overlap — especially purity rules, hierarchy, and the pressure to blend in. Performative "wokeness" or solidarity without deconstruction still causes harm. Leaving an ideology starts with noticing cracks, not necessarily total separation. White women often over-identify with celebrities (e.g., Taylor Swift) as identity templates, reflecting the lack of a stable white cultural identity. Blackness often forces an early, necessary individuation, whereas whiteness encourages conformity. Hair politics show racial power — the "curly girl method" became appropriative and purity-obsessed when white women adopted it. Cultures differ in how nicknames, familiarity, and boundaries work, and white norms often feel invasive. People must interrogate when they are giving the "benefit of the doubt" — it often reinforces racial hierarchy. You're dangerous either way as a white woman: dangerous to people of color if you don't deconstruct whiteness, dangerous to white supremacy if you do. Joy is a rebellion against whiteness, purity culture, and systems built to suppress individuality. Whiteness punishes deviation, leading to fear of standing out or being "kicked out" of the group. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Camera Racism 02:43 Understanding Whiteness and Cultural Perceptions 02:55 The Role of Citations and Expertise 05:12 The Intersection of Gender and Race 08:09 The Complexity of Joy in White Culture 10:56 Navigating Conversations About Race 13:28 The Impact of Anti-Blackness on Identity 16:30 The Dynamics of Marginalization 19:17 Misogynoir and Its Implications 30:37 Empathy and Understanding in Conversations 33:31 The Complexity of Identity and Privilege 38:27 Navigating Conversations on Race and Gender 41:53 The Dangers of Inaction and Silence 46:25 Cracks in Ideologies and Celebrity Culture 50:53 The Pursuit of Identity and Individuality 01:02:55 The Curly Girl Method and Cultural Appropriation 01:06:40 Freedom of Expression and Identity 01:10:35 Racism, Media, and Historical Context 01:12:23 Cults, Groups, and Social Dynamics 01:17:14 Language, Identity, and Cultural Sensitivity 01:21:53 Challenging Norms and Embracing Authenticity 01:30:59 Radicalizing Conversations and Sensitivity in Writing Produced by Haley Phillips
